11:30 pm New Year's Eve

I'm already in my PJ's. I'm watching CNN and MTV Times Square coverage. The dog is walked and in for the night. I found out I get the day off tomorrow, but it's not enough incentive to go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money "celebrating". I'm trying to write a year in review. So far, checking my archives, I'm not inspired. It's not that a whole lot didn't happen last year. It surely did. But I'm having trouble putting it into words. I'll try and have another crack at it in the morning.

... And We're Back.

As I wrote, I had some sort of desktop meltdown. In fact, I had a catastrophic failure of all my tech. After I got the PC restored there seemed to be a problem with my hard drive. As I was working on that, my laptop dropped off my Wi-Fi network, seemingly for no reason. And I lost the headphones to my Palm/MP3 player. I can't use those earbud thingies. I think I have mutant ears or something because they don't fit or stay in my ears. The headphones I prefer are around 20 dollars and there's just no wiggle room in the budget right now. I could cut out a bottle of vodka from my weekly liquor budget... AS IF!

In any case, I ran the disk check/repair software and got my hard drive sorted. Then I worked on my connectivity problem. After determining my router was working I had enough brains to get in and look at the router settings. After poking around for a while I figured out that somehow during reinstalling my OS, my router had regenerated the WEP encryption key and locked my laptop out of the network. After that, I simply entered the new key into the connection settings ... and we're back.

The headphone problem was solved courtesy of Jet Blue. They give you headphones on the flight for free but for a dollar you can buy a pretty damn good set of headphones that you can keep after the flight. You can keep the free ones too but they suck.

So I spent most of today restoring programs and tweaking my desktop. I had no idea how much I had customized my system until I had to re-create it. I'm still not done. I basically restored my system back to around 2003. I had to install Windows updates for several years until I finally got up to Service Pack 2 updates. I also had to update Internet Explorer and the Media Player and re-install the scanner, printer and my Palm. Photoshop too.

On a personal note, this is the first year I didn't beat myself up over the fact that I have a really difficult time working out/staying in shape during the holidays. I basically haven't worked out in over a month. I ate whatever I wanted and drank whenever I felt like it. Pasta and a loaf of bread at midnight. The horror! I knew damn well I wouldn't do it for very long. I finally saw the light (or the fat roll) this week. And so it's back to the gym and a few weeks of dieting. A little South Beach low carb action and a lot of cardio. Today was day one. I did 1/2 hr. cardio and 1/2 hr. on the abs. I also did a litle fake n' bake to dispel the winter pallor. Tomorrow I hit the weights. I want to be all fat-free and sexy (at 45 yrs., I'll settle for fat free) by the spring.

Oh look, I just got a South Beach Diet E-Mail... seriously.

A Whole New World

It really is! Just before I left for Christmas my desktop PC died. I tried every trick I could think of to get it back. Nada. Zip. But I was pretty sure that the hard drive hadn't failed. So I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and re-install the OS. They say you should do it periodically anyway. The result? I'm back online with an amazingly uncluttered PC. I had fortunately backed up almost all of my pictures, which was all I really cared about. Now I need to decide which programs I really want back. I'll be downloading for the rest of today. See ya!

I Wish You Joy

I'll hit the ground running tomorrow as I have to work all day, come home, drop the love bomb on Jet and then head out to JFK to catch a night flight for a midnight arrival in Buffalo. I'll miss whatever Christmas Eve party they'll do but I'll be with the family on Christmas Day and that's a happy thing.

So while I may have time to post something during Christmas I may not. I return to NYC late on the 26th. After that, my household will be expanding to include one human female and one tiny dog, male. And it's the start of a whole new chapter of life around my Castle High Atop Second Avenue.

It's been an interesting (to me) year. I'll see if I can come up with an entertaining re-cap for a New Year post. But for now, I would just like to wish my blog buddies and interested parties a Merry Christmas (not happy holidays). I hope the season brings you and those you share your lives and love with peace and joy. I am mindful of the past that has unfolded, and excited about the future yet to be revealed. I am hopeful that I have learned what the universe had to teach me thus far. Mostly, I'm just happy. And happy that you drop by from time to time.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Let's Go To The Videotape

Frosty The Snowman brutally attacked by local thugs.

Donald Trump calls Rosie O'Donnell a fat ugly dyke. FOX News sucks his stubby little dick. Rosie O'Donnell has a big mouth. Donald Trump is a vulgar, mean little man.

Dick In A Box.

People

In the city that you can hire people to do that for you, I met today with the man who will be walking my dog while I visit the family for Christmas. A practice I prefer to putting the little guy in a kennel. His name is Scott. I. Love. Him. He's in his 20's and kind of small with cute rings on his cute fingers and lots of tats. Including more than one on his neck. Jet concurs, and sat down for some affectionate petting from Daddy and the dog-walker.

I have another evening of prospective roommates to see tomorrow. That's it then. I already have some favorites. So what's the point of dragging it out? I briefly considered renting out both extra bedrooms, but I want to try to reserve a bit of my privacy. Besides, three people means three summer air conditioners, of which I was usually the odd man out. No. Never again. One of the first people to respond was a hot boy from Mexico City with the most distracting accent. I kept picturing him naked. Maybe I'll see if he wants to be my dog shampooer. Naked, of course. Or maybe I'll ask him for a month's rent, a month's security and a month of my eating his ass. Decisions, decisions.

UPDATE: I finished the interviews and sent out e-mails to four prospective tenants. Five if you count the South of the Boarder guy who's ass I want to eat. Unfortunately, the nice German lady with the fully grown 80 lb. dog didn't make the cut. I expect I'll have a new roommate by Thursday.

Not Dead Yet ...

From my mailbag ...

Probably total bullshit but it made my day.

hi boys,
My name is #### ######, I've been working in porn for about 3 years and I'm currently casting for a new bareback video company call Red Hot Rocket Video. I know you probably get spam mail as i do and probably erased this email before even getting to this point. I attached a pic of myself in case any of you may recognize me. I got your email from one of the contact lists i have, if you aren't interested you will never hear from me again, sorry. so I will be filming until Dec. 27 in manhattan and need to get as many scenes as i can. They pay between 350-500 per model depending on the activities involved and appearance ranging from solos to groups. If you have any interest, give me a call at ### ### #### and i can set up a time to meet you and plan a shoot.


thanks again,
M###

No. Thank YOU.

UPDATE: It turns out it wasn't total bullshit, it was the real deal as I sent a thanks but I'm too doughy for video right now response and I heard back. But who arranges for video shoots during Christmas? Still, it was nice to be asked.

This N' That (part 2!)

As Jet rips the innards out of another toy. You know they make em to tear apart easy right? Bastards. Awww, there's white clumps of toy guts all over the living room.

I was up ridiculously early to do a little on the job ass kissing and show up for a non-mandatory meeting. That called for me to achieve that delicate alcohol/Ambien balance that would allow me to sleep before 2am but not over-sleep the 7am meeting. Mission accomplished but I sacked out for a couple hours after returning home, walking the boy and fixing breakfast. Fun fact: I wake up with no appetite. Nothing sounds good until I've been up for at least two hours. When pressed, I can get up and throw down some java and do the meeting and then eat. Saves a bit of time considering how pokey I am getting out of the house.

Finalized a pet-walking service that will come by Christmas day and walk the boy a few times. So I'll be working all day on the 24th and then flying out to Buffalo Christmas Eve. At least I'll be there. Christmas and Thanksgiving. Unreal.

I had a lot of responses to my apartment share. Including a delightful offer to time share. I'll be in touch about that, Missy. I met a few today and more tomorrow. I've learned over the years not to let it take over my day or my week. And I'm more irascible now. (I said No, Paloma!) You want the apartment you step to my schedule. You'd be amazed how pushy some people can be. One of the responders (a WOMAN! EEK!) I like via e-mail unfortunately comes with a cat (DOUBLE EEK! I used to be allergic as a kid) and a black lab pup. I don't think I'm ready for an instant menagerie but her e-mail persona is so nice I'm giving her a shot. But setting up appointments and meeting strangers (not for sex) all day was exhausting.

Quick and totally easy recipe:

Heat some Trader Joe's Portuguese Sausage and White Bean Soup.
Cook some pasta. Any kind but large shells work best.
Combine.
Pepper liberally. Stir.
Sprinkle Parmesan on top.
Serve.
Green peas are optional but work.

You can also change the soup to lentil.
Add spinach instead of peas.
Add butter to the Parmesan sprinkle.
Delicious.

Did you see Top Chef this week? Such drama! You know Mia's been saving that "come from nuthin'" speech since day one don't you? She gave it almost verbatim twice.

Is it just me? Or does Paula Deen's boys creep you out too? What is it?

Man runs over, eats seven legged Trans-gendered deer. (S)he reportedly hosted a Wisconsin gay party as Rudolpha. Like I could make that up!

This is so not hilarious. It is sick and wrong. And totally not funny. NOT. -via WOW report.

No, Poloma. Just .... No.

Subject: Am interesting!

Hello

My name is Paloma i saw your advertisment on craigslist and am extremely interesting in renting the place i will like you to give more details about the place and also get back to me with the price range per month...I will be hoping to hear back from you. Take good care of yourself.Happy christmas in advance.

Thank and God bless

Paloma

This Ought To Be Interesting ...

$792 Own rm in 3 bedrm walk-up. Share w/ mature gay man and his dog (Gramercy)

Unfurnished room available Jan. 1 in 3 bedroom apartment. 5th floor walk-up. No doorman. Available room is on the opposite end for extra privacy. Your room has a door and a lock, no screens or curtains. Hard wood floors. Quiet neighborhood close to E. Village and Union Square. Nearby laundry, restaurants and 24 hr. deli.

About the apartment and the roommate:

Everything works, plenty of heat and hot water. Fully furnished kitchen, living room and bath. I have a dog. He is friendly and I care for him myself but he sheds. If you're allergic to/hate dog hair don't answer. I don't smoke. You can't either. This includes weed. Outside the apartment is your business. I'm HIV+. Aside from that I'm ridiculously healthy and don't require any care but if you've got some HIV phobia don't answer.I get along best with straight women and gay men. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that's fine, but you both can't live here. You have to have a job and I would like it to be more 9-5 as I work mostly nights but this is not set in stone. You should do your own dishes, eat your own food and clean the bathroom on occasion. If the garbage is full you should be smart enough to take it out.

$$$$ Details: You will need two months rent and a month sec. to move in. Shared bills are con-ed and cable TV. Monthly bills are due the last week of the month. Additional optional costs would be cable TV in your bedroom, a land line phone and shared Wi-Fi network.

I'll be scheduling showings/meetings at various times this week and next. Please respond by e-mail and tell me a little about yourself.

317 Second Ave. at 18th St

Time Management (part 2)

2:30 pm: I slept until almost 1:00 this afternoon. I always say if it happens I must have needed it but I am so. far. behind.

4 pm: I stopped at Cohen's Fashion Optical as I'm out of contact lenses. I mentioned before how they constantly try to rip you off there. It is one of the most dishonest businesses I have ever dealt with. True to form they tried to overcharge me by 50.00 for new lenses. When I questioned the cost the sales guy tried to tell me "the manufacturer raised the price". From 99 dollars to 150? Don't think so, bub. And what about the lifetime insurance price I supposedly paid for? That's when the sales girl called out from another room that 99 dollars "was a special they were running". To which I replied that if it was a special I would certainly remember and not ask again. At which point the sales girl looked at my account packet and wonder of wonders, I paid for insurance and the price would be 100.00. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The people running Cohen's Fashion Optical on 23rd St. are out and out thieves. I'm about to have breakfast and Oprah's starting.

7:30 pm: Just finished the laundry. I noticed something. For a big ol' homo, I'm awful fond of the flannel. They raised the price on all the machines and the detergent and fabric softener by a quarter. Plus, they lopped a minute off the time a quarter buys you for a dryer. It now costs me $7.75 to do my laundry. Just more examples of The Man tryin' to keep me down. Still, there's something quite satisfying about a big pile of clean panties waiting to be put away.

1:50 am: Just uploaded. The Christmas tree has predictably become a work in progress. One more thing for me to piss away some money on. Last week I added a string of colored lights. I thought the white was too plain. This afternoon I stopped in to Housing Works. Still looking for a cute coffee table. What I found instead was a little Christmas Wonderland. $17 dollars later, I did a little bit to support an HIV/AIDS charity and got some cute ornaments and knick-knacks. And the birds. There was a whole basket full of white birds. I only bought three. 'Cause I'm gay like that.



Plus ..

You know it's a Homo Christmas when ...

And no, I didn't buy that today. I already had it before I got the tree. I know. Pretty gay.

No Comics For Sale This Week

I'm having time management issues. The laundry went undone on both of my days off. I planned on doing it on Monday, but I've already had to push it back to Tuesday. I'm also having a lot of trouble getting to the gym. I used to beat myself up about this very thing every year until I finally noticed a pattern. And now I shake my fist at the sky and curse that dang-blasted Daylight Savings Time. Seriously. It fucks up my whole world. If I have a day off and it gets so dark so early, I'm pretty much convinced my day is over around 8 pm. There's no way I would go to the gym at 9 or later. Despite the fact that you would frequently find me working out at 10:30 or later in the summer.

And even though the sun is out during the day, it's in the wrong place. So instead of warming you and making you feel good , it shines in your eyes and irritates you and highlights your hangover and makes you swear at your dog. And all I want to eat at every meal is soup. Although this morning before work I simultaneously made a ham and cheese omelet with an onion bagel for breakfast while I made pasta with green and yellow squash, meatballs, garlic, artichoke and green pepper for dinner.

On my day off on Friday I absolutely was convinced I had to get some drink coasters for the living room. I have no idea why. But mission accomplished.

I made the switch to Blogger Beta.

Oh my, I've gone all stream of consciousness here. It's probably from Daylight Savings Time. Damn you to hell. December 21 is the shortest day of the year, isn't it? So I'm in the home stretch.

Note to self: plane tickets for Christmas, baby sitter for the dog.

Git 'er done.

Lindsay Lohan Is A Fucking Idiot

I mean, I usually leave the goss to the professionals, and I rarely regurgitate news and try to pass it off as content but honestly, is this girl really and truly this stupid?


Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on "how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

Dear Miss Lohan,

You have zero impact on any of the generations I have ever known or want to know. Now shut up and read some books.

Moment Of Zen

-via The Sean Show

Have Yourself, A Little Christmas, Mary

So this weekend was a new first. You probably won't believe me, but I bought my first Christmas tree. Of course, we had a tree every year growing up, I wasn't raised by wolves. But my entire adult life has found me tree-less until now. I was trying to explain how that happened to someone who couldn't understand why. The truth is, I'm really not sure. I remember many years, as I considered getting one, I was usually working in a bar or club. Restaurant/bar people don't usually get holidays off. Christmas night in most bars can be a pretty busy night. Christmas Eve is a pretty big night in a lot of gay bars. There are all kinds of reasons why this is so. So many times I didn't want to get a tree, as I preferred to treat the day as much like any other as possible. I felt it lessened the sadness at not being with my family and having to work. I missed so many holidays.

Some years, I would take charge of decorating the club or bar I was working at for the holidays. So I wasn't always interested in doing it at home.

Some years, I was being all militant and gay and anti-commercialism and some such granola nonsense. Like Wal-Mart gives a fuck if I boycott Christmas.

Recently, sometime in the last five years, The Ex brought up getting a tree. I mumbled something that must have sounded like "if you feel like it". The result? I came home one night to find a little foot-and-a-half fiber optic piece of shrub in a cheap plastic pot. It must have cost all of $7.99 at Tacky R' Us. I think it slowly changed colors as it sat in it's crappy plastic pot by the TV. Humming almost imperceptibly and tormenting me. I despised it. And he never failed to put it out every Christmas. But I shouldn't have been surprised. This is a man who thought boiled meat was cooking. If The Ex hadn't taken it with him when he left, it would have been the first thing I ran out to the trash.

Some years I wouldn't decorate at all, other years I would put out Christmas candles and display all the cards that came in. But something changed this year. Certainly jettisoning the dead weight in my life is part of it. But it also has to do with me getting out of the bar business. And (side story) getting out of going out to the bars much at all. And getting my dog.

I'm getting older. I'm domesticating. Different things are starting to become more important to me. And I've been thinking a lot about home and family.

Which is how I ended up buying my first Christmas tree. It's artificial. And it's only 4 1/2 feet tall. And I bought three packages of ornaments. Nothing original. Red, blue, silver and purple. It's a work in progress. I can't decide whether to get garland or ribbon. My favorite part is that I put it in a place where if I open the apartment door, you look directly at it from the hallway and you can also see it from the sidewalk across the street. And I bought an electric three-candle light for the window in my bedroom. Just in case there are three well-hung wise men following a star.

Anyway, it's mine and I love it.

This Week On EBay

I was running low on time, so I didn't get the chance to put everything I wanted up for sale, but here ya go.


Batman: Gotham Nights #1-4 complete mini-series. (1992)

1996 Onslaught: Marvel Universe & X-Men Onslaught.


1988 DC Comics Invasion #1-3 complete mini-series.

1992 DC Armageddon: Alien Agenda #1-4 complete mini-series

Today, I ...

(in order)

Slept in 'till 10:40.

Had two cups of coffee.

Watched the first 20 minutes of The View. That's the best part.

Read some blogs.

Walked the dog.

Took my meds.

Read more blogs.

Did almost all the laundry.

Picked up prescription refills.

Had white bean and sausage soup.

Took all my vitamins.

Made a killer beef stew. I wasn't sure it was gonna come together but it's fucking retarded good.

Walked the dog again.

Showered and shaved.

Read more blogs.

Confirmed that my credit is almost maxed out. Came up with another ponzi scheme to keep a roof over my head for a few more weeks.

Took 1/2 of a clonazepam. No reason. Just felt like being high.

Went to get my haircut in the East Village. Ross is Eastern European with pretty eyes and some nice DSL. My hair is still long but it needed shape.

Finally got back to the gym. 1/2 hour of cardio and 1/2 hour on my man-boobs. I tried to flash my vagina at the guy working out across from me but he wasn't interested. Cruised the steam room for some sucky-jerky. Nada. Shaved my balls in the shower.

Came home and enjoyed a delightful glass (or two) of Pinot Grigio while the stew heats up. Nothing says relax like anti-seizure medication and a couple glasses of wine. Stew, salad and a bit of warm Italian bread for dinner.

Dog. Walk.

Covered the gray in my newly gorgeous hair. Garnier Nutrisse #50.

Slathered on some Androgel.

Scanned some comics that are going up for sale.

Poured myself a well-earned Stoli/soda/lemonade.

Turned TV back on, searched for anything worth watching.

Wrote this post.

Another cocktail.

Got ready for bed.

Pretty good day off.

Oh! And update to this post. Sexy gym man was back at exactly 3:30 yesterday. Again, gorgeous face, perfect hair, completely smooth chest. I was hopeful. Then he sniffed his sleeveless gym shirt again. Twice. Homos don't wear smelly gym clothes. If you are a homo and you do, cut it out. Then the dress slacks came off. Gray boxer briefs. And I looked at the waistband: Hanes.

NO GAY!

Oh well...

Happy World AIDS Day!

I caught a cold. Either right before Thanksgiving or from being on the plane. I almost always end up sick when I travel. I feel OK I'm just a walking snot factory. The nice thing about being HIV+ with an undetectable viral load and a climbing T-Cell count is that when I do get a cold, I know it's just a cold.

If you can tear yourself away from your global pandemic celebration, here's a couple of unrelated videos, other than the fact that they are both hilarious and super duper gay:

Crocodile Hunter Meets Ross:
-via WOW Report

Tomboy video- OK2BGAY
-via Queerty

Have a great AIDS Day!

Pineapple.

Well, That Didn't Take Long

I got home from work last night and found this hand-written note taped to my new neighbor's door:

"Exterminator Emergency! Please knock and let yourself in. Major mouse and roach problem."

It appears the vermin left with the vermin.

Tee-hee!

Way Funny

This morning Martha Stewart had John Leguizamo on as a guest. He's hawking this book. If you missed it, you missed the part where Martha tries to pronounce the title. Hearing Martha Stewart say "Hos" made me giggle. But hearing her mangle "Playa Hatas" was absolutely priceless! She pronounced it like a some Mexican resort town. I did a coffee spit-take.

I could use your help. There was this really sexy man at the gym yesterday, but I don't know .....
Here are the deets:
35-40 yrs old
Gorgeous Face
Perfect Haircut, a touch of gray
In Shape, but very visible body fat
No Chest Hair
Dress Shirt and Pants, but at the gym at 3:30 on Tuesday.
Abercrombie & Fitch boxers, in flannel.
Sniffs sleeveless T-shirt before wearing.

GAY or NO GAY.

What say you, readers?

Reunited And It Feels So Good.

I just got back from spending my first Thanksgiving with my family in several years. It was delightful. Seriously. I arrived Thursday afternoon. They had already eaten but there was plenty of food left for me. Just as I finished my dinner my grand-niece (good god!) arrived, at which point my brother and his wife (grandma and grandpa) were done for. Particularly my brother. My grand-nephew is actually the younger of the two, and trust, he got plenty of attention. But it's the girl that reduced my brother to a useless pile of goo. She's started talking and she's in that hysterical phase where she goes from baby talk to complete, adult sentences. She was a little standoff-ish with me at first, but warmed up eventually. Our relationship was cemented when I played Sully to her Boo. Screaming and running ensued. Nothing makes an infant love you faster than being willing to make a total ass of yourself. I got some great pictures.

I also spent lots quality time with my much loved niece. She's twelve now going on 21. Even before her mom died, we shared an uncanny bond. And time apart and dearth of visits don't really seem to affect that. We've had some rough patches, especially when she tried to see how far she could push me, answer: not far. But that's all water under the bridge, and now we take up where we left off no matter how long it's been. When she was younger, I used to think I reminded her of her mom. As she's gotten older, I'm starting to think our bond is because we share a lot of traits. She's moody. I get moody. When she's off from school on a weekday she watches Charmed and then back-to-back ER. It's spooky I tell ya. We popped out on Friday and saw Happy Feet. We had a great time. I got the impression that certain members of my family bring in outside candy and "pop" to the movies. I couldn't impress upon her enough how vital popcorn and Milk Duds, as well as other non-nutritious over-priced concessions are to the movie going experience. The movie itself, only so-so. But the musical numbers were great. We walked home having a nice chat through what was apparently Harlem, Tonawanda, as my mom was waiting for us at the door, about to dash out the door searching the roadside for our lifeless bodies. In a car, of course.

I ate far too much and in addition to the Thanksgiving feast there were multiple helpings of pasta with mama's sauce (my grandmother taught her), stuffed artichokes, apple and chocolate pie. The racist "humor" was kept to a minimum. It turns out my dad thinks that George Bush is an idiot and an embarrassment. Guess that explains the election results. They lost the vaguely bigoted white middle class elderly vote. We spent an inordinate amount of time talking about poop. Ours, each other's and our animal's. I helped mom and dad decorate outside for Christmas.

I got back to New York around 11 pm. Jet's babysitters left a note saying he had behaved well and after skipping food the first night, was bribed by some raw egg in his bowl to eat the next. He was so excited to see me he ran around my legs peeing as he wagged his entire lower body. I didn't mind in the least. It was the pee of love. I petted and hugged him until the entire living room floor was covered in dog hair. And some pee. I took him for a long walk and then tended to my neglected Stoli bottle. I woke up several times during the night just to sit up and give him a couple affectionate pats. The dog, not the bottle.

Much thanks for the holiday E-mails and comments. They were most welcome.

It's That Time Again

A few days ago, my lower lip split and it won't heal. By the end of every day, my eyes are pot smoker red (for the record, no). I've been dehydrated despite drinking bottles and bottles of water. Yes, it's time to break out the humidifier. My apartment is generously heated by steam. I frequently have to open a window in the dead of winter. There's one open now. The drawback is the moisture is literally sucked out of your body. I started using the humidifier two winters ago. The result is dramatically better. And as a side benefit, it works like a white noise machine, and I sleep like a baby.

This week up for sale on EBay: It's an eclectic mix. I'm not sure if anyone will respond. Good that it's a holiday weekend.

1991 DC Black Canary: New Wings #1-4 complete mini-series.


1987 DC Comics Dr. Fate #1-4 complete mini-series.

1996 Onslaught: Marvel Universe & X-Men Onslaught.



1987 DC Comics Amethyst #1-4 complete mini-series.

1988 DC World of Krypton #1-4 complete Superman mini-series.

Dilemmas Or The Lack Thereof

My depression lifted this afternoon. I had a chance to think about what's been bothering me. In a nutshell it's uncertainty and a resistance to change. And my trepidation is pretty laughable. Considering my uncertainty has to do with which investment and how much I should cash out of to keep up with my bills. Considering how poor some people really are in the country and how unbelievably poor some people are in the world, the fact that some white American guy is upset and resistant to sell some stock is beyond ludicrous.

My resistance to change is related to the prospect of finding a new roommate. I can't really decide if I should be looking for a straight woman or a gay man. Living with a straight woman was by far the best roommate situation I ever had. But that's not a guarantee. And I would kind of like to give a nice place to live to another gay man. Maybe even a HIV+ guy. But I'm so burned by the last two men I lived with that the idea of it depresses the hell out of me. This afternoon it hit me. Why decide now? Just place an ad on Craigslist, maybe post another at the Gay/Lesbian center and see what the universe sends me. I am the one who claims the universe speaks to me. So what am I afraid of? Besides, if I don't like what the universe asks, I can always answer no. That realization gave me comfort. Still, I'm not in a hurry. I'm shooting for a new roommate for the new year. I'll probably spend December on my own. I really really enjoy it.

OMG- I forgot to tell you. I got my newest ConEdison (electric) bill over the weekend. It was 80 dollars. Down from last month at 190. And the month before at 235.00. The first step down was the first roommate, the second was The Ex. So I was not imagining turning off the bathroom light 50 times every weekend. Jesus Howard Christ! 155.00 a month extra! What the fuck were they doing?

A Martha Moment

Plus other stuff.

A mild depression has set in. It doesn't feel serious and I'm pretty sure of the cause. Money. Or rather the lack thereof. Also, while nobody was looking, fall fell here in the city. I've discussed my seasonal depression before. It actually was nowhere near as bad this year. I think it was offset by my celebration/anticipation of so many positive changes in my life. Plus I'm totally looking forward to being with my family next week. I don't even think I need to crack the clonazepam. But I will if that changes.

Some people veg in front of the TV or take long walks when depressed. I clean. Usually very obscure, I've been meaning to get to things. To wit:

I Oxycleaned all the shears in the apartment. I was afraid the white shears in the alley window wouldn't clean up. Between the location and the fact that they spent the summer blocked by a never used A/C unit (don't ask), they were black on the bottom. But clean up they did. Every success feels like I've shaken off an old burden. But it's also adding to the melancholy.

Then I went after the greasy grimey pots and pans. In the interest of consumer reports, Easy Off oven cleaner is great for getting baked on grease off of baking sheets and pans. Just make sure you're in a well-ventilated area (gasp). This product? Not so much. Doesn't work. Nope. Sorry.

I've been astounded at the size and beauty of the falling leaves. I guess because I'm spending so much time in the park this year. I was about a week too late, but I snapped some pictures in the park. They looked even better than this, but the oak leaves are bigger than my hand, and when they first fell, it was a carpet of reds and golds and greens that only nature could manufacture.



Of course, someone couldn't resist posing for the camera. Turned out to be a great picture.



In the good news department, I sold over $40 in comics this week. A new high. Every week I learn more about the comic sellers market and how to set good fair prices. This may turn out to be a decent side business for me. Baby steps people.

Midnight On Friday

And I just popped a turkey meatloaf in the oven. Fuckin' hot, huh? I'm also enjoying a bottle of wine.

For those unaware, every year after the 3rd Thursday of the month a marketing trick, I mean tradition, takes place. Millions of bottles of frog juice wash ashore here in America. And nobody likes to be marketed to like New Yorkers. Thus, the signs go up all over town "Le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrive". I know the "e" needs one of those accent thingies, I don't know how. I usually just ignore the hype as I do prefer my Pinot Grigio or a robust Merlot.

But today I was in TJ's Wine Shop picking up some Barefoot and "two buck chuck" (for COOKING) and what did I come upon? Cases and cases of Beaujolais. Directly in front of me. It appears that Le Beaujolais Nouveau est arrive (accent thingie) ici, aussi. How could I resist? My verdict? I can't compare it to the well-regarded 2003 because it's my first bottle but while I'm sure it goes well with both turkey and turkey meatloaf, it's also enjoyable if you're just making a turkey meatloaf for later, instead of just getting drunk at a gay bar. I multi-task like that. Cheers.

This Is Fucking Lovely

Three HIV positive people on the ADAP waiting list in South Carolina die, another death expected in the next few days. That waiting list could grow to 350 people if congress doesn't act.

Study: New HIV patients can expect to live 24 years. Suddenly, I'm not so worried about my extreme credit card debt.

Creature Comforts

Despite the fact that we've had a moderate November so far, (that's a sure jinx) I've been waking up a little cold in the morning. So today I took a few minutes to put a set of flannel sheets on the bed. As he always does, Jet immediately jumped on the bed and began to roll around. I finally realized that while I absolutely adore the smell and feel of clean sheets, Jet prefers "his" bed to smell like Jet. I did draw the line when we returned from his walk. It was raining. No wet paw prints for a few days please.

Last week, I bought what I thought would be a great laundry bag (at a generous 40% discount).

I quickly had buyers remorse when I spotted one I thought would be better. But I decided to stay the course. It's such a simple purchase but it ended up fitting perfectly in the corner of my bedroom. Instead of an unsightly overflowing laundry bag, I'm enjoying a nice neat corner where I can throw my socks. In short, I love it. Best of all, after laundry day is done, it collapses down to almost nothing.

Things I enjoy about living alone:

• It takes almost a week to fill the garbage. That frequently happened in a day.
• It takes almost a week and a half to use a roll of toilet paper. The Ex used to go through fistfulls of it.
• The bathroom light is off when not in use.
• The garbage never overflows.
• There is always ice in the freezer.
• The toilet seat is ALWAYS SHUT!
• The kitchen bar/counter is always cleaned of food and crumbs.

Things I don't like:

• I'm thinking ....
  

Despite the trepidation, I haven't run into either one of them since moving day. It can't last forever, but I like it.

Ye Olde Comics Shoppe

Or, please don't make me have sex with Ted Haggard.


DC Comics Aquaman limited series #1-5 complete series.

1992 DC Comics Batman/Green Arrow: The Poison Tomorrow.

DC Comics 1991 Brave & the Bold #1-6 complete series.



1991 Marvel Comics Infinity Gauntlet #1-6 complete series.

1988 DC Comics maxi-series V for Vendetta #1-10 complete series! ***The reserve price was met on day one. Bid if you want it I apparently under-priced it.


1987 DC Comics Green Arrow: The Longbow Hunters #1-3 graphic novel complete.



Not sure how I ended up with so much Green Arrow this week. Gotta go, Iron Chef America has a special Mario Batali/Rachael Ray vs. Bobby Flay/Giada De Laurentiis. They had to add an extra 1/2 hour just to accommodate all those ginormous heads.

She's A Busy Bee

So I pretty much have the apartment organized and cleaned to my satisfaction. I still have part of a closet in my bedroom to sift through. I threw out some old electronics I'd forgotten I was keeping, as well as files of promotions and ads from old bar jobs I'd done. No one has ever asked to see them and I've never used them to refresh my memory or give me an idea. The hardest thing to keep up on has been the dog hair. Jet really does shed a ridiculous amount of hair. Granted, I don't brush him often enough but christ, his hair gets everywhere.

I took advantage of the extra room and doubled my closet space. And I also had the chance to really spread out and dig into my comic book collection. I now have a really good idea of what I have here. Basically, all my post 1980 comics are here. Which means that my parents are holding my much more valuable pre-1980 collection at their house. Still, I found some interesting little gems that will be up for sale in the coming weeks.

I didn't work out at the gym this whole week. Well, that's a lie I did 1/2 hr. of cardio on Friday and maybe one other day. But I work out pretty much religiously and feel extremely guilty when I start to slack off. I have to remind myself that a lot, a lot of people don't get any exercise at all, and my missing a week isn't such a big deal. It's not like I'll devolve into a blob or anything.

I got my first real paycheck on Friday. A good indication of what I can expect every two weeks. It was satisfying to earn money, and a relief to have my checking account bolstered by many hundreds of dollars. But it's obvious that one of two things has to happen. I need a roommate or I have to find a way to double my income. A second job is a possibility. I wish it was fifteen years ago. I'd just sell my hot tight ass a few times a month. There's just not much market for a 40-something prostitute.

Voter Turnout

Longtime readers know that while I do champion a cause on occasion, I'm largely apolitical. I frequently get turned off by politicians from either party. The pandering, the press conferences, the way people go all black or white make me shake my head. I'm not a black or white guy, I'm frequently gray. As such, I'm registered as an independent voter. I vote depending on many different criteria. I've voted for a Republican mayor the last couple of elections.

I did vote mostly Democratic this time out. It's been strange to vote for people that actually won. I have no expectations that anything of significance will change.

Oh, and just for my own amusement, whenever possible I voted under the Working Families Party. Just to fuck with the numbers.

Pay Attention

I'm going to set aside my vanity and relay some important information. If you are HIV+ and are taking Kaletra you may be experiencing diarrhea. I have every day for over a year. Most times several times a day. It was inconvenient and demoralizing. I tried everything to stop it. I changed my diet several times. I quit drinking coffee. I took enzymes and acidolphous supplements. My health care provider suggested Tums. I also tried liquid Immodium from the drugstore. Nothing worked.

My current provider suggested I try Loperamide. It happens to be Immodium in pill form. I have no idea why it's better than the liquid. My prescription calls for me to take it every 6 hrs. I found twice a day is better. The point is it worked. Finally. I'm not promising that this is the answer for you. I'm saying it worked for me. Don't give up.

Surviving HIV is important. But your quality of life is too. If you have issues, ask questions. Do research. Don't accept that what you're experiencing is what you have to put up with. It took over a year, but my life is now ... so. much. better.

She's Plumb Tuckered Out

It doesn't happen too often, but occasionally at my job we have an all staff meeting. It needs to happen when we're closed, and they've picked before we open. I of course would prefer after we close. So it was that I got up this morning at 5:30 am. So that I could walk the dog around 6 and leave for the meeting around 7 am. That would be 0700 to some people. To me, it's "hit me in the head with a shovel o'clock". Two hours later, I did manage to stumble through a 1/2 hour of cardio at the gym and then stopped back home to grab some grub and walk Jet again.

Then it was back to work for my regular shift. On Sundays I'm supposed to be on the sales floor but I'm finding we're usually so busy that I end up spending most of the day on a register. 70 thousand dollars is a lot of storage and shelving.

The nicest part of the day was when I was on my lunch break. I mentioned that I was planning on going to Buffalo for Thanksgiving, but I wasn't looking forward to putting Jet in a kennel. That's when one of the people I work with that commutes from Jersey offered to house and dog-sit for free, in order to have a weekend in the city with her boyfriend. SWEET!

I'm booking my plane tickets tomorrow. But now I'm going to bed. The Duchess is exhausted.

$70 Well Spent

It took almost four hours, and I used a thicker gauge floor tile, but the new kitchen floor is down. My feet and knees ache. The tiles around the edges of the kitchen were filthy. I kept finding pockets of mouse poop. Lots and lots of mouse poop. The kitchen looks great but I may have contracted the hantavirus. At least they won't say I'm not tidy.

Who Are The People In My Neighborhood?

Longtime readers will remember my Christmas time post about my neighbors down the street and their bloody Santa holiday display. I thought I'd show you that they do indeed make statement art around major holidays, and that news organizations nationally were playing everybody for suckers and manufacturing controversy. Here's what their Halloween decorations looked like. If you can't make it out that's Col. Sanders and a rubber chicken. The bucket says "Unhappy Meal". Not a news van or an angry letter writer in sight.

I'm thinking of fulfilling all recent photo requests by taking photos of me:

Naked.

Redecorating the apartment.

With my dog.

But I can't figure out how to get the dog to help me redecorate.

It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown

No. Seriously. That's a great pumpkin.
Wondering what I did on Halloween this year? I worked my ass off at home. The Hellcat finally moved his things out. After blaming anything he may have taken that didn't belong to him on "the seizure", he also dropped the bomb that he replaced the shower head with the old one, but he didn't really do a good job and didn't test the seal. In other words, as a final gift, he left me with a broken shower that was just dangling down the wall on a flex hose. As to "the seizure", it's his newest catch-all excuse for anything he fucks up or fails to accomplish. First year it was the ex-boyfriend dying from AIDS, the next year it was depression and the meds he was taking to treat it, now thankfully for him he had a seizure. So now he can use that when he doesn't get a job, or sleeps until 8 pm, or misses an appointment. It's typical behavior when you spend your life as a Professional AIDS Victim. Whatever, he's the rest of the world's problem now.

So yesterday I returned his cable box to get that off my bill. He generously offered to do it himself but I declined since I wanted it taken care of this year. Then I released my inner lesbian and headed to Home Depot. I bought a replacement shower head that would hang directly overhead. While I was at it I bought a replacement cylinder for the apartment deadbolt. The Hellcat mumbled something about having two sets of keys, translation: he had an extra set made for his nasty cunt boyfriend after I expressly told him not to. The Ex still hasn't returned his. There was absolutely no way I was going to relax knowing any of them had keys to my apartment. All of my trust has evaporated.

After having lunch I set about installing the new shower head. It was surprisingly easy. And I've replaced the entire deadbolt on more than one occasion so changing just the cylinder went smooth as well. Once that was sorted, it was time to give Jet a bath. The weather report said it would be in the 60's, and I wanted to give him a bath while it was still warm outside, in case I walked him wet. Besides that, I was about to scrub down the living room, and bath time is a decidedly damp affair, so I figured I would get his bath done before I spent a couple hours cleaning. As expected the apartment got soaked, but Jet is great at bath time. I think he likes the attention and I don't make it a big drama.



Being in full purge mode, I ended up cleaning out the bathroom cabinet. Anything unused or expired or of questionable quality got tossed. Gels, lotions vitamins all out. I filled a small bag.

I took Jet to pick up some prescriptions and by then, the kids had started trick or treating. This being NYC, they went business to business down 2nd Avenue. Restaurants, Nail Salons, bodegas were all fair game. And yes, they all had candy for the kids. Including my pharmacy. Only in New York. I stopped at the dog run and of course, some of the dogs were in costume. It was something of an unexpected celebration. People brought cameras, one woman made bags of doggie treats for all the dogs, and another lady made cupcakes for all the owners. Who knew? Jet didn't get a costume, but I reserve the right to dress him up when I feel like it.

After a dinner/Dancing With The Stars fix, I set about cleaning the living room. I moved all the furniture out. Between the dog hair and the dust bunnies, there was a mountain of dirt behind the couch. I threw out a bunch of lumber and a rusted window screen that has been back there forever. Then I swept and mopped the floor twice. I loaded all the furniture back in and vacuumed all the fabrics. At some point, I rearranged the storage in my bedroom and started working on my closet, but I was practically possessed at that point, so I'm not really sure what order things happened. I can say I have a lot more personal space, and the living room is finally clean after months of squalor.

On Friday, I'm putting down a new floor in the kitchen. And I'm currently shopping thrift stores for a new coffee table and a new dinette. The whole apartment is getting a budget makeover. I wrote here once this year that I had finally bought a matching dinner service for 6. Something I had never had my entire adult life. The other day while reorganizing the kitchen cabinet, I noticed that one of my "friends" had broken a coffee cup. I have no idea when, but I do know that neither one of them said a single word, or apologized, or offered to replace it. Good riddance to a couple of no-class assholes.

Happy Howl-oween

From me and Jet. Jesse got me laughing at these pix and I found some more. Hilarious.

One To Go ...

The Ex moved out today. Of the seven years, only the last five have been sheer torment. Like the complete moron that he is, he's only managed to move two floors down, so I'll have to go about pretending that he's dead and I'm just ignoring his ghost on the staircase. I was furious about that. Now I'm just thrilled he's gone. And for good this time. I won't forget again how he utterly let me down. Or that he's just a dumb-ass South Buffalo hick who had horrible taste in food, TV and movies and never met a book he wanted to open.

Typically, The Hellcat is taking his sweet time getting the rest of his crap out. I guess he's busy doing that no job sleeping thing he has perfected. He has until midnight Teusday. After which I start piling it up outside the apartment door. After which I'll feel like I've taken a giant shit.

Quarterly Report

For those stockholders that have shares in my life, here are the latest Corporate: Me numbers.

I weigh an epic 145 lbs.

"I lost two lbs."

"Were you trying to lose weight?"

"At this weight I don't really care."

My blood pressure is textbook perfect.

My cholesterol is a little high and out of range: 222
My caregiver thinks it's the meds, but because my HDL/LDL is perfect, it's nothing to worry about.

My liver is fine. Go figure. Go team liver.

Red blood cell production continues to lag. The red blood cell management team has been called in for a meeting. Expect a shake-up if improvement isn't shown.

Our corporate health plan was insured by an annual flu shot. Yay! I can't tell you how much I obsessed about the flu last year when I couldn't get the shot. Is it just me, or are shots virtually painless nowadays? I barely felt it.

I got a prescription for Immodium (thanks, ADAP!). My daily Kaletra induced diarrhea. P.S, R&D reports that digestive enzymes and acidolphous supplements have no effect in treating this problem. Ditto cutting out caffeine. Just so you know.

I also got a prescription for Ambien. Saving the company $200 dollars bi-annualy. I hope I get a year end bonus for this.

And now the quarterly figures from our two largest departments:

Viral load: Still undetectable.

T-Cells: 797.

Highest ever. I'm giving out fucking T-Cells for Halloween. Trick or Treat mothafuckah. *snap*

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

New Jersey Court Backs Full Rights For Gay Couples.

Wal-Mart Joins Gay Chamber of Commerce Group(!)

American Family Association Says Wal-Mart Sells Gay Stuff.

Homo On the Range: Gay Sex In The Animal Kingdom.


Update: Four mice caught and tossed. More to come. Coincidentally, I bought a PETA T-shirt last week. It stands for:

People
Eating
Tasty
Animals.

It's So Nice To Have A Mouse Around The House

On occasion, we get mice. They come in to the kitchen from a hole in the wall behind the stove. It's never just one. We frequently get a family. A couple of big ones and a smattering of little mouselets. Barely worth breading and frying. Aside from the mouse poop all over the kitchen, they eat through whatever food is bagged. And they're amazing climbers. I usually put out poison and try to get rid of access to food and they go away. If they're really bold and running all over the apartment, I feel I have no choice but to put down glue traps. I hate the traps because the mouses don't die, they're just helpless and hopelessly trapped on the glue. And you have to pick them up live and either put them in a bag and carry them out to the trash, or my preferred method, you have to pitch them out the window. Either way they squeak and are all wiggly. And sometimes only parts of them get stuck, so they have enough body free to drag themselves around the apartment.

My current mouseguests (HAR!) haven't left the kitchen but they've ravenously eaten every bit of unprotected food. They were very well fed on bags of Jet's dry dog food. So I've been laying out traps and caught two so far. I know for sure there's another as I heard and saw him tonight. I'm not sure how many are left. I'll just add them to the list of vermin that are about to be purged from my life.

P.S. I know what the plural of mouse is, I just like saying mouses.

Of Course

Today at work, I found that because of a special upcoming sale, an entire large department was dispersed throughout the entire store to make room.. Meaning I once again don't know where the fuck things belong. Grrrr ...

I guess because he spent the better part of yesterday snoozing, Jet woke me up at 7:45 this morning. I took a paw to the head. When that didn't work he switched to the bark and whine. He didn't need to go out, I think he was just sick of sleeping. I managed to stall him until 9 am.

Despite the early start I got fuck-all done today. I had a breakfast with suasages that made me nauseous and I managed to pick up some work shirts I bought. Oh, and I cooked some pork chops and made an awesome tuna/macaroni salad. I'll make a great wife someday.

This Week On EBay

Marvel/DC Amalgam 1996 (Lot of six).

1996 DC Superman plus, Batman plus, Flash plus, Robin plus (lot of 5).



DC Comics Robin 3000 #1 & 2 1992 complete series!

1996 Marvel Avengers #1, 1998 Avengers #1.

Sorry about the dearth of posts of late. I've been getting accustomed to the new job and getting ready to lose some really draining baggage I've been carrying. My long-time coming divorce is almost final, and I'll soon be rid of a pesky cat from Hell.

The new job is going great, although I feel totally guilty when I have to leave Jet alone for 8+ hours. I was able to help a lot of people today. And remarkably, most times when I pick something up that someone has left behind or has returned, I actually know where it belongs or how to figure it out. No small feat considering we sell over 10,000 products.

Oy, I have some stories. I'll try to do better next week.

Pretty Cool

There are 175,482 people in the United States with the first name Tom. There are only 330 people in the United States with my last name. Apparently, I am the only me (first name, last name) in the United States. Check it out :

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Rainy Days And Roastbeef

I love The Carpenters. They seem to have a direct link to the gay gene. Back when I was a less enlightened soul, I rewrote the lyrics to one of The Carpenters hits after Karen died. Thus, Rainy Days and Roastbeef Always Gets Me Down was born. I thought it was riotously funny at the time. 20 years later, I still get a guilty little smile when it rains on Monday.

Since you can't spend the entire afternoon inside masturbating, well, I can't ... anymore. What's a gal to do but pop out to the hardware store for some paint? My local hardware store will put out pre-mixed paint at a discount. I assume it's paint that someone wanted but changed their mind. Maybe the color wasn't right. The point is they sell you a gallon of a custom color for $4.95. That's a tip from me to you. Home Depot in Manhattan does it as well, so be sure and check. I just take a color I think will work and slap it up on the wall. 9 times out of 10 the change will totally cheer me for weeks.

So I re-painted my kitchen wall a gorgeous deep green. And I replaced the clock that The Ex gave me with a $10.00 lucite clock I got from a now defunct home furnishings business. I've always loved that clock. Then I went out and bought a wall mounted pot rack (at a 40% discount), so I can properly hang my pots and pans. They've been hanging on finishing nails for years. Then I reorganized the pantry area ... OK the pantry cart, and scrubbed the wood on the kitchen bar. I'll hang the pot rack tomorrow and I think I'm going to paint the bar black on my next day off. The Ex painted the kitchen several years ago and did a horrific job. He got paint everywhere including all over the bar. And it was an ugly color.

Why the nesting? I'm getting ready to start another new phase of my life. In which our hero becomes the sole occupant of a (soon to be) spacious Gramercy Park apartment. I could probably pay the fare myself, but it would be financially foolish. So I will find a roommate for December. But November belongs to me. And I'm only planning to rent out the bedroom on the other side of the apartment. I intend to remake and fix all the issues I've had around the place. I'm throwing out anything I haven't used in the last two years. I'm taking back the extra closet space in the bedroom next to mine. Did I mention I get a generous 40% discount at work?

Snowstorm

I just got off the phone with Mom and Dad. I've been trying to reach them since hearing of the snow storm that hit Buffalo late Thursday. I figured something was up since their machine wasn't even picking up when I called. As it turns out, the storm did quite a bit of damage. No one in my family has electric power. My brother has hooked up a generator so if it gets really bad Mom and Dad will go there. Nobody has heat or lights. A tree limb came down in my parents' back yard and caused an electrical fire. Traffic lights are out as well, making driving a little dicey. My Dad is throwing snow into the refridgerator, trying to keep the food from going bad. Official estimates are that power will be restored sometime next week. Mom and Dad de-camped to the unaffected casino in Niagara Falls last night. It's sort of like their second home anyway. The rest of my extended family is safe and well. Buffalonians are from hardy stock.

Why do I think I'm gonna love this show?

Why are these people allowed to reproduce?

Busy Week

I'm finishing up my second week of training for the new job. Tomorrow is the last training day, although next week I'm starting classes for more specialized training. You can't say they aren't thorough.

I'm happy to report my energy level is not only back, it feels much improved. I now believe there were two issues at play. Part of the year was me adjusting to the meds, and part of it was that I really didn't want to spend any more time working in the restaurant/bar industry. And every time I took another job, as much as I tried to find the good in it, I couldn't escape the fact that every new position felt like I was having another bit of my soul sucked out. I didn't want to deal with the drunks and the smoking and the drugs. And that was just my co-workers. In a selfish way, I had enough of my own problems to deal with, and I didn't have the time, energy or patience to deal with every one else's. So I was always dragging. I was always tired. Tellingly, I was always late. Because I didn't want to be there.

I finally figured it out one night while walking the dog. There are typically several neighborhood bars around my apartment. When I walked by one on this particular night, it was moderately busy but not terribly late. Around 1 am. There were around four or five smokers outside talking and laughing on the corner. The bar stank of beer and oil, and it wafted out to the sidwalk. I visibly shuddered. At that moment, I couldn't imagine anything worse than taking another job with sub-standard pay, long, physically punishing late hours, no benefits and no real future.

And that's what it's all about now. The future. There are big doins here at my little Castle High Atop Second Avenue. But I'm feeling excited about the future for the first time in ages. I wake up happy to start my day.

Oh, and despite all the rumors, there is absolutely no truth to the scandalous gossip that I'm the other woman in the break-up between Hunter and Damon. I never touched either of them. Or rather, I couldn't get either of them to touch me.

Ye Olde Comics Shoppe

Up for sale this week:

1994 Marvels- Book Two.



DC Comics War of the Gods #1-4 complete series 1991.

1992 Marvel Warlock and the Infinity Watch 1st Issue! (plus bonus issues.)



DC Robin 2: The Joker's Wild #1-4 complete mini-series!

DC Comics Deadshot #1-4 complete mini-series! 1988-89.



Marvel comics X Force & Cable Annuals '96 & '97.

DC Comics The Weird #1-4 (1st appearance) Complete mini-series 1987.

Bid early, bid often.

I'm Pooped

I spent all of last night working the overnight shift at my new job. They want you to get a sense of how the store is re-stocked and I assume an appreciation of how hard the night crew works. While it's not life-altering, it is exhausting. A lot of carrying and bending and stretching. The crew unloaded a truck full of merchandise, separated it by department, transported it into the departments and then unpacked and put it on the shelves for sale to the customers. Perfect work for a Type A organization freak like me. I'm glad it's not a regular part of my job, but I may do it on occasion for extra hours. I started at 9:45 last night and finished at 5 am this morning. I walked home in the dark and quiet. Of course, my boy needed one last walk after 7 1/2 hours alone. So there I was, wide awake at 6 am watching the morning news. Ambien and vodka to the rescue. I was out by 7 am. Thank you blackout shades.

I finished the last of the four books I picked out for the summer. They took a little longer than I thought. I enjoyed them all for different reasons. I'll try to put up some reviews next week for each of them. I was going to hit the gym but I think all the energy I have today is to take Jet out to the run and let him sniff some dog butt. Maybe a movie later.

And here's a link for my fellow fags and the dogs they love: Check out Gentlemans Canine Society. It's a great site.

Ha! courtesy of Will, I just took the quiz What American City Are You? I'm Vegas, Baby!

You Are Las Vegas

Wild and uninhibited, you enjoy all of life's vices. You're a total hedonist, especially with sex, gambling, and drinking. You shine brightly every night, but you do the ultimate walk of shame each morning. Famous Las Vegas residents: Wayne Newton, Howard Hughes, Penn & Teller, Siegfried & Roy

What American City Are You?

AIDS is over, is it?

AIDS main killer of men in SF. -via the Bay Area Reporter

It has been eight years since the Bay Area Reporter 's now-historic front-page headline "No Obits" and news story detailing that for the first time since the AIDS epidemic began the paper had no death notices in its August 13, 1998 issue. Since the introduction of antiretroviral treatments in 1996, AIDS is no longer seen as a death sentence and HIV is largely considered to be a manageable disease.

While it is true most people diagnosed with HIV who have access to AIDS drugs are living longer, the reality is that in San Francisco, AIDS is still the leading cause of death within men ages 15 to 54 years old, and is considered to be the main killer of gay men ages 15 to 64.

read on for more ...

A Revelation

So I never did get around to recapping the weekend with my brother and sister in-law. Truth to tell, nothing overtly dramatic happened per se. Several meals, some nice conversation. As I've said before, they don't have a lot of outside interests. Don't get me wrong, I was very happy to see them.

What was unexpected was that I flashed on their visit last year. I managed to dig up the relevant post in the archives. I was in the midst of a depression. I was still adjusting to the meds. Even though my Dr. at the time insisted the medication I was on couldn't be giving me problems emotionally, I was in such bad shape that I will never believe that.

What struck me during this visit was how far I had come. I. Feel. So much better. My energy level is back to normal. I exercise regularly and my appetite is great. I remember during their last visit, I could barely get through a dinner with my brother. I was ready to jump out of my skin. This time, I was relaxed and eager to see them.

Things aren't perfect. I'm still having some side effects... in the bathroom area... that I plan on discussing during my next Dr. visit this month. But the best part of my brother's visit this time was the fact that I ended up realizing just how far I've come and how really good I've been feeling.

Besides the new job, there's a whole mess of shit going down. Bring it. You can't touch me.

-Also- It's been on my mind that I haven't done some new self photos. I have a new head of long(ish) hair. It's my version of a rejection of the Chelsea buzz cut. And I've upped my cardio and lower body work lately. The result? My ass be lookin' fine. It needs to be documented with some photographs.

Get A Job!

Tonight was my first night training for my new job. I had spent all day Friday in an orientation/indoctrination, but it started at 7:45 (AM!) so I was semi-conscious for most of the morning. Even though I wasn't really working tonight, it was more like a roving classroom, I did put in a regular shift. It was 5 and 1/2 hours. Coming from the restaurant/bar business it's a fucking walk in the park. The night shift ended at 10 pm and at 10:05 I was on the street walking home. Typically in NYC, the store is never really un-staffed. As we left, the night shift was starting. They unload the delivery truck and re-stock and re-set the store. They work until 5 am.

It appears that my shopping addiction counts as a special skill. I totally felt like I was in my element. The managers and senior staff seem genuinely nice, in a culty sort of way. I have something called a break room, which I've never had before. And oh my gosh, I was reading through the employee handbook. Not only do I get rudimentary medical coverage, as well as vision and dental, but these crazy bastards are closed on holidays. It's madness.

My uniform? Sneakers, a T-Shirt and jeans. Sweet!

Hey, check out the trailer for John Cameron Mitchell's new film Shortbus.

It's On!

I passed the free junk pile at the bottom of the stairs this morning (afternoon). It had dwindled to almost nothing. The surfboard stayed overnight and part of yesterday, before it ended up out by the trash. I'm sure some enterprising scavenger took it to turn it into a coffee table. The NY coffee mug finally was deemed desirable. It pleased me that it might find a good home.

So I was pleasantly surprised that someone got the joke and decided to play along. I had popped out to the gym tonight, I managed to do 1/2 hour of cardio before stopping because I got ravenously hungry. When I got home I was surprised to find additions to the pile. A caulking gun, a DJ turntable and a soccer ball. I happily responded with the ukulele. The sad little can of Del Monte mixed vegetables is on the left.

It takes so very little to amuse me.



In other news:

I assume I told you about Jet's problem with leaking. If not, shortly after I got him
I discovered that he had a problem with leaking urine. If he curled up on the couch he left behind a wet spot after he finally moved. At night, he would leave a considerably larger wet spot on my bed. You would think this would make me try to not let him sleep on the bed. Not so much. I did look the problem up on The Internets, and deduced it may have been a problem from when he was neutered. My mom asked a vet that she met once and as I had heard, it was possible that he would grow out of it. If not, there were some medications we could try. Well, I'm happy to report he has indeed seemingly grown out of it. I noticed it last week but thought it was a fluke. It's been over a week now. Sometimes he leaves a little spot behind, but compared to before, it's like a bit of drool. And since it's been over a week since I posted a picture...

Junk

Last month some new tenants moved into the building. A day or so later, a plastic tub appeared at the bottom of the staircase filled with an eclectic mix of household items. Some electrical outlet covers, a pot holder, some assorted glassware. Junk. There was a sign taped to it that said "Free".

Simply for my own amusement, I decided to add some junk of my own just to see what would happen. So every day for the last week or so, I brought down contributions to the free junk. Unexpectedly, I got fascinated by what would be taken and what wouldn't. So I started bringing different things down to the pile, really without any rhyme or reason. I just wanted to see what they would take and guess why.

Early on, I brought down a pair of black Rumplemintz shotglasses. I was surprised they weren't snatched right away. It was several days before they had been obviously inspected and put back. It was several more days before somebody succumbed to the allure and took them away.

Curiously, nobody took the partially empty cans of blue and silver Krylon spray paint. Ditto the partially used wood stain. And while the partially used box of caulk weather strip didn't go, the sealed bag of foam weather strip finally did.

Surprisingly, a new sealed deck of playing cards went in hours. As an experiment, I put out another deck of cards this afternoon. They were gone by tonight. Another big hit was a half full box of No. 2 pencils.

Resoundingly rejected were the coffee mugs. One had a NYC skyscraper design, the other was from Paris. It had a Mona Lisa on the side. Obviously, I didn't buy either one. It took almost 2 weeks, but somebody finally made off with the little can of Budweiser split. I pray they didn't actually drink it it's over 3 years old. And every day, no matter what I bring down, I keep seeing that my forlorn and sad little can of Del Monte mixed vegetables remains untouched and unloved.

Today I branched out. In addition to the 2nd deck of cards, I brought down a touch button telephone. I felt I had no choice. This afternoon someone added a surfboard (!) and tonight, a map of the world paperweight.

In summation, nobody wants partially used hardware supplies nor canned vegetables. And everybody wants a deck of cards.

Discovery

One of the side benefits of pouring through your files trying to decide what you can live without is that you discover hidden gems. Like this gorgeous shot of the top of a fountain in Central Park. I didn't photoshop a thing, that's how blue the sky was that day.

Wow. Are My Cheeks Red

Again, not what you're thinking.

I assumed due to the noises coming out of my hard drive that when my computer started shutting itself off every 20 mins. or so, that the hard drive was failing. Why I used that as an excuse to replace the monitor with a shiny flat screen model well, let's just say we'd have to dig deeper into my shopaholic, gottahaveit psyche than I care to go. Of course, when that didn't work, I had to pony up the cash to actually replace the drive. Which I did, but then spent an entire day deleting programs and trying to ghost my original drive over to the new one. Not so easy when you're working in 20 minute intervals. I finally succeeded. In celebration I also decided to double the memory as long as I had the guts exposed. And yesterday I happily connected my new 300G hard drive to my system and fired it up. And nothing happened. Just a series of forlorn beeps. After determining that the hard drive wasn't installed wrong, I was afraid that after all my hard work that I had installed the wrong memory and fragged the whole thing. In desperation, I called the fine folks over at Kingston. Tech support patiently talked me through the fix, without once making fun of the fact that I amatuerishly installed the memory wrong. Problem solved.

Again, I happily re-connected all the peripherals and got to re-installing my programs... 20 minutes later it died. At first, I thought that the problem was actually a virus or some malicious program that had sneaked in. But I'm pretty careful about not letting my computer get The AIDS. Finally I had the sense to Google up "PC shuts down repeatedly" and was led to a series of articles all saying the same thing. My system was probably overheating because a fan wasn't working. After blowing out the entire case with compressed gas, and trying but failing to get it fixed that way, I took the radical step of taking off the cover and turning on the PC and having a look. The CPU fan didn't even twitch. The fan not working was making the CPU overheat and the system was shutting itself off to protect itself.

10 dollars later (not counting the $200 monitor and the $80 hard drive and the $35 memory upgrade) my PC is, in fact, good enough to last several more years. If I want, I can even take that old creaky hard drive and use it for additional storage. What anyone needs with 440gigs of storage I'll never know.

Skills acquired:

How to shop for and PROPERLY INSTALL memory.
How to install a hard drive.
How to ghost a hard drive.
How to remove and replace a CPU fan.
Where the motherboard battery is located and what it looks like.

My First Time

Not what you'd assume but a helluva idea for a story. Note to self. Anyway, it appears the bodies have remained buried, as my background check apparently revealed nothing. Not too surprising, as I've spent huge chunks of my life living "off the grid". I had trouble originally getting my ID in NY state because I couldn't prove I was me, at least in the eyes of the DMV. It would have been helpful if I was on parole or an immigrant. Unfortunately being born in the state and not divorced or incarcerated was seen as a drawback.

So I went in for a new hire meeting. I actually had to be somewhere before noon. Savages. We filled out a bunch of forms. Interestingly, my new employers don't issue paychecks. They do direct deposit. You have no choice. You have some flexibility as far as whether you use your savings account or checking or some other debit account. But you don't get a paycheck. It's not a bother, I just find the fact that it's mandatory interesting.

They've been very thorough as far as what goes on in the hiring process. I've always felt informed and always been contacted by phone as to dates and times and what to expect. One thing that was sprung on us during the new hire meeting was a drug test. The forms for the nearby clinic were included in the new hire packet and we were told the drug test had to happen within 24 hours. I decided to get it over with and skip over to the clinic immediately after the session. I'd never had a drug test, but I have pissed on request before. Note to self, story idea #2.