Sunday, December 31, 2006

11:30 pm New Year's Eve

I'm already in my PJ's. I'm watching CNN and MTV Times Square coverage. The dog is walked and in for the night. I found out I get the day off tomorrow, but it's not enough incentive to go out and spend ridiculous amounts of money "celebrating". I'm trying to write a year in review. So far, checking my archives, I'm not inspired. It's not that a whole lot didn't happen last year. It surely did. But I'm having trouble putting it into words. I'll try and have another crack at it in the morning.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

... And We're Back.

As I wrote, I had some sort of desktop meltdown. In fact, I had a catastrophic failure of all my tech. After I got the PC restored there seemed to be a problem with my hard drive. As I was working on that, my laptop dropped off my Wi-Fi network, seemingly for no reason. And I lost the headphones to my Palm/MP3 player. I can't use those earbud thingies. I think I have mutant ears or something because they don't fit or stay in my ears. The headphones I prefer are around 20 dollars and there's just no wiggle room in the budget right now. I could cut out a bottle of vodka from my weekly liquor budget... AS IF!

In any case, I ran the disk check/repair software and got my hard drive sorted. Then I worked on my connectivity problem. After determining my router was working I had enough brains to get in and look at the router settings. After poking around for a while I figured out that somehow during reinstalling my OS, my router had regenerated the WEP encryption key and locked my laptop out of the network. After that, I simply entered the new key into the connection settings ... and we're back.

The headphone problem was solved courtesy of Jet Blue. They give you headphones on the flight for free but for a dollar you can buy a pretty damn good set of headphones that you can keep after the flight. You can keep the free ones too but they suck.

So I spent most of today restoring programs and tweaking my desktop. I had no idea how much I had customized my system until I had to re-create it. I'm still not done. I basically restored my system back to around 2003. I had to install Windows updates for several years until I finally got up to Service Pack 2 updates. I also had to update Internet Explorer and the Media Player and re-install the scanner, printer and my Palm. Photoshop too.

On a personal note, this is the first year I didn't beat myself up over the fact that I have a really difficult time working out/staying in shape during the holidays. I basically haven't worked out in over a month. I ate whatever I wanted and drank whenever I felt like it. Pasta and a loaf of bread at midnight. The horror! I knew damn well I wouldn't do it for very long. I finally saw the light (or the fat roll) this week. And so it's back to the gym and a few weeks of dieting. A little South Beach low carb action and a lot of cardio. Today was day one. I did 1/2 hr. cardio and 1/2 hr. on the abs. I also did a litle fake n' bake to dispel the winter pallor. Tomorrow I hit the weights. I want to be all fat-free and sexy (at 45 yrs., I'll settle for fat free) by the spring.

Oh look, I just got a South Beach Diet E-Mail... seriously.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Whole New World

It really is! Just before I left for Christmas my desktop PC died. I tried every trick I could think of to get it back. Nada. Zip. But I was pretty sure that the hard drive hadn't failed. So I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead and re-install the OS. They say you should do it periodically anyway. The result? I'm back online with an amazingly uncluttered PC. I had fortunately backed up almost all of my pictures, which was all I really cared about. Now I need to decide which programs I really want back. I'll be downloading for the rest of today. See ya!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

I Wish You Joy

I'll hit the ground running tomorrow as I have to work all day, come home, drop the love bomb on Jet and then head out to JFK to catch a night flight for a midnight arrival in Buffalo. I'll miss whatever Christmas Eve party they'll do but I'll be with the family on Christmas Day and that's a happy thing.

So while I may have time to post something during Christmas I may not. I return to NYC late on the 26th. After that, my household will be expanding to include one human female and one tiny dog, male. And it's the start of a whole new chapter of life around my Castle High Atop Second Avenue.

It's been an interesting (to me) year. I'll see if I can come up with an entertaining re-cap for a New Year post. But for now, I would just like to wish my blog buddies and interested parties a Merry Christmas (not happy holidays). I hope the season brings you and those you share your lives and love with peace and joy. I am mindful of the past that has unfolded, and excited about the future yet to be revealed. I am hopeful that I have learned what the universe had to teach me thus far. Mostly, I'm just happy. And happy that you drop by from time to time.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Let's Go To The Videotape

Frosty The Snowman brutally attacked by local thugs.

Donald Trump calls Rosie O'Donnell a fat ugly dyke. FOX News sucks his stubby little dick. Rosie O'Donnell has a big mouth. Donald Trump is a vulgar, mean little man.

Dick In A Box.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


In the city that you can hire people to do that for you, I met today with the man who will be walking my dog while I visit the family for Christmas. A practice I prefer to putting the little guy in a kennel. His name is Scott. I. Love. Him. He's in his 20's and kind of small with cute rings on his cute fingers and lots of tats. Including more than one on his neck. Jet concurs, and sat down for some affectionate petting from Daddy and the dog-walker.

I have another evening of prospective roommates to see tomorrow. That's it then. I already have some favorites. So what's the point of dragging it out? I briefly considered renting out both extra bedrooms, but I want to try to reserve a bit of my privacy. Besides, three people means three summer air conditioners, of which I was usually the odd man out. No. Never again. One of the first people to respond was a hot boy from Mexico City with the most distracting accent. I kept picturing him naked. Maybe I'll see if he wants to be my dog shampooer. Naked, of course. Or maybe I'll ask him for a month's rent, a month's security and a month of my eating his ass. Decisions, decisions.

UPDATE: I finished the interviews and sent out e-mails to four prospective tenants. Five if you count the South of the Boarder guy who's ass I want to eat. Unfortunately, the nice German lady with the fully grown 80 lb. dog didn't make the cut. I expect I'll have a new roommate by Thursday.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Not Dead Yet ...

From my mailbag ...

Probably total bullshit but it made my day.

hi boys,
My name is #### ######, I've been working in porn for about 3 years and I'm currently casting for a new bareback video company call Red Hot Rocket Video. I know you probably get spam mail as i do and probably erased this email before even getting to this point. I attached a pic of myself in case any of you may recognize me. I got your email from one of the contact lists i have, if you aren't interested you will never hear from me again, sorry. so I will be filming until Dec. 27 in manhattan and need to get as many scenes as i can. They pay between 350-500 per model depending on the activities involved and appearance ranging from solos to groups. If you have any interest, give me a call at ### ### #### and i can set up a time to meet you and plan a shoot.

thanks again,

No. Thank YOU.

UPDATE: It turns out it wasn't total bullshit, it was the real deal as I sent a thanks but I'm too doughy for video right now response and I heard back. But who arranges for video shoots during Christmas? Still, it was nice to be asked.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

This N' That (part 2!)

As Jet rips the innards out of another toy. You know they make em to tear apart easy right? Bastards. Awww, there's white clumps of toy guts all over the living room.

I was up ridiculously early to do a little on the job ass kissing and show up for a non-mandatory meeting. That called for me to achieve that delicate alcohol/Ambien balance that would allow me to sleep before 2am but not over-sleep the 7am meeting. Mission accomplished but I sacked out for a couple hours after returning home, walking the boy and fixing breakfast. Fun fact: I wake up with no appetite. Nothing sounds good until I've been up for at least two hours. When pressed, I can get up and throw down some java and do the meeting and then eat. Saves a bit of time considering how pokey I am getting out of the house.

Finalized a pet-walking service that will come by Christmas day and walk the boy a few times. So I'll be working all day on the 24th and then flying out to Buffalo Christmas Eve. At least I'll be there. Christmas and Thanksgiving. Unreal.

I had a lot of responses to my apartment share. Including a delightful offer to time share. I'll be in touch about that, Missy. I met a few today and more tomorrow. I've learned over the years not to let it take over my day or my week. And I'm more irascible now. (I said No, Paloma!) You want the apartment you step to my schedule. You'd be amazed how pushy some people can be. One of the responders (a WOMAN! EEK!) I like via e-mail unfortunately comes with a cat (DOUBLE EEK! I used to be allergic as a kid) and a black lab pup. I don't think I'm ready for an instant menagerie but her e-mail persona is so nice I'm giving her a shot. But setting up appointments and meeting strangers (not for sex) all day was exhausting.

Quick and totally easy recipe:

Heat some Trader Joe's Portuguese Sausage and White Bean Soup.
Cook some pasta. Any kind but large shells work best.
Pepper liberally. Stir.
Sprinkle Parmesan on top.
Green peas are optional but work.

You can also change the soup to lentil.
Add spinach instead of peas.
Add butter to the Parmesan sprinkle.

Did you see Top Chef this week? Such drama! You know Mia's been saving that "come from nuthin'" speech since day one don't you? She gave it almost verbatim twice.

Is it just me? Or does Paula Deen's boys creep you out too? What is it?

Man runs over, eats seven legged Trans-gendered deer. (S)he reportedly hosted a Wisconsin gay party as Rudolpha. Like I could make that up!

This is so not hilarious. It is sick and wrong. And totally not funny. NOT. -via WOW report.

Friday, December 15, 2006

No, Poloma. Just .... No.

Subject: Am interesting!


My name is Paloma i saw your advertisment on craigslist and am extremely interesting in renting the place i will like you to give more details about the place and also get back to me with the price range per month...I will be hoping to hear back from you. Take good care of yourself.Happy christmas in advance.

Thank and God bless


Thursday, December 14, 2006

This Ought To Be Interesting ...

$792 Own rm in 3 bedrm walk-up. Share w/ mature gay man and his dog (Gramercy)

Unfurnished room available Jan. 1 in 3 bedroom apartment. 5th floor walk-up. No doorman. Available room is on the opposite end for extra privacy. Your room has a door and a lock, no screens or curtains. Hard wood floors. Quiet neighborhood close to E. Village and Union Square. Nearby laundry, restaurants and 24 hr. deli.

About the apartment and the roommate:

Everything works, plenty of heat and hot water. Fully furnished kitchen, living room and bath. I have a dog. He is friendly and I care for him myself but he sheds. If you're allergic to/hate dog hair don't answer. I don't smoke. You can't either. This includes weed. Outside the apartment is your business. I'm HIV+. Aside from that I'm ridiculously healthy and don't require any care but if you've got some HIV phobia don't answer.I get along best with straight women and gay men. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that's fine, but you both can't live here. You have to have a job and I would like it to be more 9-5 as I work mostly nights but this is not set in stone. You should do your own dishes, eat your own food and clean the bathroom on occasion. If the garbage is full you should be smart enough to take it out.

$$$$ Details: You will need two months rent and a month sec. to move in. Shared bills are con-ed and cable TV. Monthly bills are due the last week of the month. Additional optional costs would be cable TV in your bedroom, a land line phone and shared Wi-Fi network.

I'll be scheduling showings/meetings at various times this week and next. Please respond by e-mail and tell me a little about yourself.

317 Second Ave. at 18th St

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Time Management (part 2)

2:30 pm: I slept until almost 1:00 this afternoon. I always say if it happens I must have needed it but I am so. far. behind.

4 pm: I stopped at Cohen's Fashion Optical as I'm out of contact lenses. I mentioned before how they constantly try to rip you off there. It is one of the most dishonest businesses I have ever dealt with. True to form they tried to overcharge me by 50.00 for new lenses. When I questioned the cost the sales guy tried to tell me "the manufacturer raised the price". From 99 dollars to 150? Don't think so, bub. And what about the lifetime insurance price I supposedly paid for? That's when the sales girl called out from another room that 99 dollars "was a special they were running". To which I replied that if it was a special I would certainly remember and not ask again. At which point the sales girl looked at my account packet and wonder of wonders, I paid for insurance and the price would be 100.00. I've said it before and I'll say it again. The people running Cohen's Fashion Optical on 23rd St. are out and out thieves. I'm about to have breakfast and Oprah's starting.

7:30 pm: Just finished the laundry. I noticed something. For a big ol' homo, I'm awful fond of the flannel. They raised the price on all the machines and the detergent and fabric softener by a quarter. Plus, they lopped a minute off the time a quarter buys you for a dryer. It now costs me $7.75 to do my laundry. Just more examples of The Man tryin' to keep me down. Still, there's something quite satisfying about a big pile of clean panties waiting to be put away.

1:50 am: Just uploaded. The Christmas tree has predictably become a work in progress. One more thing for me to piss away some money on. Last week I added a string of colored lights. I thought the white was too plain. This afternoon I stopped in to Housing Works. Still looking for a cute coffee table. What I found instead was a little Christmas Wonderland. $17 dollars later, I did a little bit to support an HIV/AIDS charity and got some cute ornaments and knick-knacks. And the birds. There was a whole basket full of white birds. I only bought three. 'Cause I'm gay like that.

Plus ..

You know it's a Homo Christmas when ...

And no, I didn't buy that today. I already had it before I got the tree. I know. Pretty gay.

Monday, December 11, 2006

No Comics For Sale This Week

I'm having time management issues. The laundry went undone on both of my days off. I planned on doing it on Monday, but I've already had to push it back to Tuesday. I'm also having a lot of trouble getting to the gym. I used to beat myself up about this very thing every year until I finally noticed a pattern. And now I shake my fist at the sky and curse that dang-blasted Daylight Savings Time. Seriously. It fucks up my whole world. If I have a day off and it gets so dark so early, I'm pretty much convinced my day is over around 8 pm. There's no way I would go to the gym at 9 or later. Despite the fact that you would frequently find me working out at 10:30 or later in the summer.

And even though the sun is out during the day, it's in the wrong place. So instead of warming you and making you feel good , it shines in your eyes and irritates you and highlights your hangover and makes you swear at your dog. And all I want to eat at every meal is soup. Although this morning before work I simultaneously made a ham and cheese omelet with an onion bagel for breakfast while I made pasta with green and yellow squash, meatballs, garlic, artichoke and green pepper for dinner.

On my day off on Friday I absolutely was convinced I had to get some drink coasters for the living room. I have no idea why. But mission accomplished.

I made the switch to Blogger Beta.

Oh my, I've gone all stream of consciousness here. It's probably from Daylight Savings Time. Damn you to hell. December 21 is the shortest day of the year, isn't it? So I'm in the home stretch.

Note to self: plane tickets for Christmas, baby sitter for the dog.

Git 'er done.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Lindsay Lohan Is A Fucking Idiot

I mean, I usually leave the goss to the professionals, and I rarely regurgitate news and try to pass it off as content but honestly, is this girl really and truly this stupid?

Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on "how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

Dear Miss Lohan,

You have zero impact on any of the generations I have ever known or want to know. Now shut up and read some books.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Have Yourself, A Little Christmas, Mary

So this weekend was a new first. You probably won't believe me, but I bought my first Christmas tree. Of course, we had a tree every year growing up, I wasn't raised by wolves. But my entire adult life has found me tree-less until now. I was trying to explain how that happened to someone who couldn't understand why. The truth is, I'm really not sure. I remember many years, as I considered getting one, I was usually working in a bar or club. Restaurant/bar people don't usually get holidays off. Christmas night in most bars can be a pretty busy night. Christmas Eve is a pretty big night in a lot of gay bars. There are all kinds of reasons why this is so. So many times I didn't want to get a tree, as I preferred to treat the day as much like any other as possible. I felt it lessened the sadness at not being with my family and having to work. I missed so many holidays.

Some years, I would take charge of decorating the club or bar I was working at for the holidays. So I wasn't always interested in doing it at home.

Some years, I was being all militant and gay and anti-commercialism and some such granola nonsense. Like Wal-Mart gives a fuck if I boycott Christmas.

Recently, sometime in the last five years, The Ex brought up getting a tree. I mumbled something that must have sounded like "if you feel like it". The result? I came home one night to find a little foot-and-a-half fiber optic piece of shrub in a cheap plastic pot. It must have cost all of $7.99 at Tacky R' Us. I think it slowly changed colors as it sat in it's crappy plastic pot by the TV. Humming almost imperceptibly and tormenting me. I despised it. And he never failed to put it out every Christmas. But I shouldn't have been surprised. This is a man who thought boiled meat was cooking. If The Ex hadn't taken it with him when he left, it would have been the first thing I ran out to the trash.

Some years I wouldn't decorate at all, other years I would put out Christmas candles and display all the cards that came in. But something changed this year. Certainly jettisoning the dead weight in my life is part of it. But it also has to do with me getting out of the bar business. And (side story) getting out of going out to the bars much at all. And getting my dog.

I'm getting older. I'm domesticating. Different things are starting to become more important to me. And I've been thinking a lot about home and family.

Which is how I ended up buying my first Christmas tree. It's artificial. And it's only 4 1/2 feet tall. And I bought three packages of ornaments. Nothing original. Red, blue, silver and purple. It's a work in progress. I can't decide whether to get garland or ribbon. My favorite part is that I put it in a place where if I open the apartment door, you look directly at it from the hallway and you can also see it from the sidewalk across the street. And I bought an electric three-candle light for the window in my bedroom. Just in case there are three well-hung wise men following a star.

Anyway, it's mine and I love it.

Monday, December 04, 2006

This Week On EBay

I was running low on time, so I didn't get the chance to put everything I wanted up for sale, but here ya go.

Batman: Gotham Nights #1-4 complete mini-series. (1992)

1996 Onslaught: Marvel Universe & X-Men Onslaught.

1988 DC Comics Invasion #1-3 complete mini-series.

1992 DC Armageddon: Alien Agenda #1-4 complete mini-series

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Today, I ...

(in order)

Slept in 'till 10:40.

Had two cups of coffee.

Watched the first 20 minutes of The View. That's the best part.

Read some blogs.

Walked the dog.

Took my meds.

Read more blogs.

Did almost all the laundry.

Picked up prescription refills.

Had white bean and sausage soup.

Took all my vitamins.

Made a killer beef stew. I wasn't sure it was gonna come together but it's fucking retarded good.

Walked the dog again.

Showered and shaved.

Read more blogs.

Confirmed that my credit is almost maxed out. Came up with another ponzi scheme to keep a roof over my head for a few more weeks.

Took 1/2 of a clonazepam. No reason. Just felt like being high.

Went to get my haircut in the East Village. Ross is Eastern European with pretty eyes and some nice DSL. My hair is still long but it needed shape.

Finally got back to the gym. 1/2 hour of cardio and 1/2 hour on my man-boobs. I tried to flash my vagina at the guy working out across from me but he wasn't interested. Cruised the steam room for some sucky-jerky. Nada. Shaved my balls in the shower.

Came home and enjoyed a delightful glass (or two) of Pinot Grigio while the stew heats up. Nothing says relax like anti-seizure medication and a couple glasses of wine. Stew, salad and a bit of warm Italian bread for dinner.

Dog. Walk.

Covered the gray in my newly gorgeous hair. Garnier Nutrisse #50.

Slathered on some Androgel.

Scanned some comics that are going up for sale.

Poured myself a well-earned Stoli/soda/lemonade.

Turned TV back on, searched for anything worth watching.

Wrote this post.

Another cocktail.

Got ready for bed.

Pretty good day off.

Oh! And update to this post. Sexy gym man was back at exactly 3:30 yesterday. Again, gorgeous face, perfect hair, completely smooth chest. I was hopeful. Then he sniffed his sleeveless gym shirt again. Twice. Homos don't wear smelly gym clothes. If you are a homo and you do, cut it out. Then the dress slacks came off. Gray boxer briefs. And I looked at the waistband: Hanes.


Oh well...

Friday, December 01, 2006

Happy World AIDS Day!

I caught a cold. Either right before Thanksgiving or from being on the plane. I almost always end up sick when I travel. I feel OK I'm just a walking snot factory. The nice thing about being HIV+ with an undetectable viral load and a climbing T-Cell count is that when I do get a cold, I know it's just a cold.

If you can tear yourself away from your global pandemic celebration, here's a couple of unrelated videos, other than the fact that they are both hilarious and super duper gay:

Crocodile Hunter Meets Ross:
-via WOW Report

Tomboy video- OK2BGAY

-via Queerty

Have a great AIDS Day!