Jeez, Do Ya Think?

The producers of the new production of Equus had any idea that their naked PR pics of Harry Potter would be salivatingly reproduced by every lame-assed homo blogger worldwide? Hmm?
Honestly, just pathetic. Go buy an A&F catalogue.

I was at the gym tonight. I put on some headphones and listened to some inappropriate (non-Madonna) music. As I was working through my ab routine I had a mini-epiphany. And you know how painful those can be. It occurred to me that my inner monologue has become very negative. Like I'm stuck in a dark place. Or that I just automatically default to it. I was feeling kind of grumpy, and I was currently beating myself up about the little failures I had this week. All the things I shouldn't be doing as well as all the things I know I can do better.

And as I got lost in the music and (I'm assuming) some endorphins started to kick in, I thought: How terribly counterproductive. And I suddenly started ticking off all the good things that happened today. I got everything done I intended. I stocked up Jet's food. I bought healthy groceries for myself. I took my meds. I refilled a prescription. I skipped breakfast, a flaw, but I made a helathy low-carb lunch and I ate it all. A positive, as I've been unable to finish my meals the last few days. I stopped in to Barnes & Noble and found a new book to start. I was at the gym, I had finished 1/2hr. of cardio. I was looking forward to a delicious dinner that was almost already finished, my outfit was urban/cute and if I do say so myself, I have a pretty funny and ironic taste in music.

By the time I was finished, I have to admit, Dr. Phil be damned if I wasn't feeling much better. About myself, about the day. While I'm at work, I have a running criticism about myself playing in the background: You shouldn't be in this department there's nobody here. You should be selling over there. You should get on a register the lines are too long. I always feel like I'm in the wrong place at the wrong time and I could just Be. So. Much. Better.

And maybe if I quit beating myself up and learned to enjoy myself, I could be.

This has been my Daily Affirmation. Now scram, you suck.