Recently this, this and some well documented unpleasantness with a deaf retard of my own got me thinking. What do (I'm assuming) HIV- people think they're accomplishing when they try to "remind" you or point out to you that you have HIV? Not only is it totally lame, it's also about the stupidest way you could try to insult me. Oh my gosh! I have HIV? Wow, you really put me in my place with that one, well done and "totes hilar". Dumb ass! Like I'm not reminded every morning when I take a handful of pills. Like I'm not reminded when I pick up a big box of mega-multi-vitamins that will only last a month. Like I'm not reminded when I finish an hour of cardio and shower and apply the testosterone gel I have to use every day. I'm HIV+? No shit! I totally forgot about that. Oh, you've so ruined my day. Good on you!
Oh, and I love how they talk about how you're gonna die soon, or about your grave, or how they're gonna see you in your grave. And they always seem to work in how they don't feel sorry for anyone who turns up HIV+ in this day and age. It's funniest because they're usually about 100 lbs over what even a generous doctor would call a healthy weight. Or they mention how they ended up passed out in bed with a cheese sandwich stuck to their heads. Let's see: Type 2 diabetes, heart disease, alcohol rehab, high blood pressure. It may be another 15 years, but remind me to make fun of whatever "totally preventable" disease you come down with. I'll probably say something totally "edgy" like "Hey, remind me next time we talk to bring some insulin." You see? ... because I totally busted on you by, like ... you know mentioning your insulin. Oh, I'm such a funny bad-ass. Stop! My sides!
The fact of the matter is, deadly virus coursing through my bloodstream aside, I'm pretty confident I eat better than you lame overweight monkeys, I know I sleep better. I've spent a lot of time addressing my mental health and over-all happiness, to the point where I've conquered the bulk of my major fears. I don't smoke, I don't abuse drugs. I walk up the five flights to my apartment and usually have to wait while whomever I'm with recovers. My heart is healthy and I daresay I could last twice as long as you on any piece of fitness equipment. Statistically, I'll probably outlive YOU Fudgy The Whale. But if you think Being HIV+ hasn't forced me to think about my own mortality, you're just plain stupid. And that's the difference between us. I'm not scared. Of dying. Or of living. Unlike you. You're totally scared. Of illness. Of facing life. Of staring down death. And you think by mentioning death you'll scare me. But I know your dirty little secret. You're the one who lives in fear.
No comments:
Post a Comment