This having a sober social life is exhausting. Thursday evening I went to my HIV+ men's group at 6:30. There were quite a few guys in attendance, more than usual. So of course, instead of making sure we had a good meeting, some of the "regulars" chose that night to be particularly obnoxious. And that's not just me saying it. Several people approached me asking what I thought we should do. One guy in particular has a habit of monopolizing the conversation. And he speaks in a monotone, telling stories in the most maddeningly minute detail. No matter the subject, no matter who is speaking, somehow all roads lead back to him. He's pushing 60, and he never fails to mention his amazing former crystal meth habit, and all the hot sex and all night orgies he hosted. It's pathetic and slightly revolting. Several of the newer guys simply got up and walked out of the meeting part way through, as it became clear that nobody else's issues were going to be addressed. The facilitators that are supposed to help steer the evening can't seem to control this guy. My theory is that he's far too narcissistic for subtlety. Somebody is going to have to blatantly tell him to knock it off.
After that, I went out for a cup of coffee with a couple men from that meeting. Pleasant enough. Then it was back for a Gay-A meeting. I'm finding that the speaker portion of the evening is usually pretty uninspiring. Most people are pretty bad at public speaking, and even though Gay-A speakers aren't supposed to be "professional" but instead "real", they have a tendency to ramble and wander. And then so does my attention. I frequently nod off. I'd feel guilty about that, but when I am awake I can't help but notice how many people spend some time during the speaker portion "meditating". The member shares after that are usually where the interesting bits are found. I got invited out for dinner after the meeting, but I begged off for once, as my current budget only allows for that luxury a couple times a week, and that's pushing it.
After dinner at home and a quick walk in the pouring rain for the dog, I got a pretty good night's sleep. Friday morning around 10 am I got a call from one of my POZ group guys. We had plans to see a movie in the afternoon. I returned the call around 11, and we made plans to see Dreamgirls (I know, finally!) at an Upper West Side theater. I had to get the dog walked and fed and grab a yogurt and a V8 for myself before leaving at 12:30 to make a 1:30 show. The UWS is totally inconvenient to get to from where I live, but I'm feeling all adventurous in my sobriety so I made the trek. Needless to say, the movie was terrific. I really liked how they fleshed out the stage version, the performances were wonderful and I loved LOVED the costumes. And I have to give credit, Beyoncé Knowles was really, really good in this movie. Better than anyone seems to be mentioning.
After the movie, we stopped for coffee and chatted. He's a nice guy. very funny and sardonic, which I love. We made plans for lunch and another movie, probably next week. By then it was time for me to head back downtown. I had no time for errands. Instead I stopped for a quick chicken taco (OK two, and some rice&beans) before heading to another Gay-A meeting. After that let out I had to go from 9th Ave. to 2nd so I could pick up the dog for a walk. He hadn't been out in almost 8 hrs. So you can add in a quick walk around the block, plus trips up and down five flights of stairs. Then I walked back from 2nd to 9th and took in another Gay-A meeting. This one is for HIV+ alkies. I make sure I get to this one every week. It's probably the most important to my recovery. Of course, I had to make one more trip across town to get home. No gym today, but I figure all that traveling made up some. I got home and rested for a couple minutes, then I brought Jet out for a trip to the dog run. The last hour before it closes is usually pretty busy, and there were plenty of doggie friends for him to sniff butts with. Finally got home for the night around 11 pm. Grabbed a late dinner and caught up on some e-mail. Tomorrow I have today's undone errands, a workout, laundry if there's time, the obligatory Gay-A meeting and my first sober dance. Can't wait to tell you how that goes.
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