I Got A Hankerin'...

Fer some white wine, unusual because I much prefer red. Now a bottle of chardonnay later and I made yellow and green squash with shells in a pesto cream sauce, and a flounder francese with toasted almonds, sunflower seeds and squash with spinach. AND I have a nice cock and a tight ass. So what's the deal.....?

Anyway, The shelves that fell have been put back up more securely. I replaced the DVD racks with new, sturdier versions. I swapped out my nightstand for a new filing cabinet. The laundry is done, the sheets are changed, and all is quite orderly here in my castle high atop Second Ave. Jet escaped this morning and sprinted down five flights of stairs. I got down to find him taking a nice big long piss at the foyer door. Sort of outside. I guess. This afternoon outside Tompkins Square Park we ran in to a nice lady shilling for Eukanuba. We scored two bags of dog food, three large biscuits, four tartar bones and four packets of doggy gravy. Because my dog is cute.

Union Square, Friday Evening 2006

This picture has no real significance, other than to show out of towners what Union Square is like when absolutely nothing of note is going on. It's still crowded. But I was just trying out a feature of Picasa where you can edit pictures and post them directly from Picasa to your blog. It works pretty well. If you haven't tried Picasa yet you should. It's got some really cool features and it's free from the fine folks over at Google.

Scuze Me While I Empty My Head

Star Jones Reynolds leaves The View. Today they kicked her to the curb. Ding-dong the witch is dead.

The lilac bushes are in bloom in the park by my house. The entire north side smells like old lady.

I am highly allergic to mosquito bites. I get enormous red welts (sometimes the size of baseballs). They itch and get so hot it's painful. The reaction can last up to four days. I have insect repellant, hydrocortizone cream and Benadryl spray out on the table all summer. I hate mosquitoes. I take comfort in imagining that they fly around for a bit, and then start to feel vaguely ill. They cough a couple of times, and then my tainted blood makes them fall dead out of the sky. Bwaaaaa ha-ha-ha-ha.

I saw a thing on ER the other day where a guy with minor injuries had some drops put in his eyes. The drops made him cough and sneeze and then his eye popped out of the socket!. It looked just like that Arnold movie on Mars. I freaked out and changed the channel, but I can't shake the image or the thought that if it was on ER, it must be possible. You can sneeze and your eye can pop out. Right?


I don't watch much "reality" TV but I have looked in on and enjoyed So You Think You Can Dance. I have a thought and a question. I think I would like Dmitry to fuck me until I cry. My question is for Jaymz. The "Z" I can take, but why the "Y"?

Whole Foods had a sale on organic lemonade this week. What exactly makes organic lemonade organic I don't know. I haven't bothered to read the label. But a Svedka/soda and organic lemonade is about the tastiest thing I've ever had.

Last week. 23rd St. Near 6th Ave. Two men. Both blind. With canes. One leading the other through the crowd and into a local deli. Literally, the blind leading the blind. Huh.

My bedroom is disintegrating around me. Shelves falling off the wall. Windowblind cords snapping. Maybe it's a sign.

More. New York City. Pride 2006.

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Still. More. New York City. Pride 2006.

and finally ...



crack is whack.


I have a few more pictures. I ran in to the beginnings of a mini-ball that I LOVED but it didn't take off and my lower back started to knot up. I also snapped some pics of the calender guys from City Gym Boys at the outdoor festival. I'll post those later. And I still have to recap the HIV/AIDS vigil. But that's a story more than just posting pictures. This was the first time in years I had the whole weekend to really enjoy pride and not have to leave to go to/get up for work. I also didn't hang out with anyone. Just me. I did the parade, I did the street fair, I came home and played with my dog. I went out for drinks but woke up the next day hangover-free. It wasn't crazy, it was fun and respectful and one of the better Pride experiences I've ever had. I hope you enjoyed the pictures. We now return to our snarky general commentary.

New York City. Pride 2006.

Here's a handful of pictures from the parade. I'll be updating with more as I edit them. I'll comment as needed. Please do not use any pictures without crediting me and this blog. Of course, we'll start with Kevin Aviance. Even though she should have bedazzled the knee brace.






















Falcon Exclusives Roman Heart and Erik Rhodes.

(Below and yesterday's preview) Boys of the Bacardi float.

5th Avenue, 19th St.

Twinks get their freak on.

A Preview...

of some really awesome Pride pix. If I do say so myself. More during the week. I've got a lot of pictures to edit. If you feel like stalking me the rest of the night I'll be at The Park and then Mr. Black. Oh my liver.

Sorry About The Flash Glare ...

But I wanted to show you this. It's outside a church on 5th Avenue, the parade route on Sunday.



I got some beautiful photos from the HIV/AIDS vigil tonight. I can't wait to show them to you. It was extremely emotional.

One Hour From Now

WSIWYG - Greetings From Gaytown plus, My Dog's First Gay Bar

Tuesday found me hiking downtown to the Bowery Poetry Club for the annual all-singing all-dancing gay edition of WYSIWYG. I love that they've moved from the old PS 122 location, as it's now great writing and entertainment WITH A BAR. I'm much more motivated to arrive early now. I always love the way gay edition of WYSIWYG, but this year was particularly good. I won't review every performer, but I will highlite my favorites. Greg Walloch was milk out the nose funny. Huh-larry-us. And if you head over to Curly McDimple's site Ham & Cheese on Wry, she's posted the peice she read. It's funny in print but her delivery was retardedly good. I can see why she's been nominated for blog awards. I'm so jealous. One of my absolute favorite bloggers Joel Derfner didn't disappoint on any level. I wish I could tell you more about what he read but unfortunately when he took the stage all the blood rushed out of my ears and into my penis. The picture does not do him justice but here you go...


(picture removed per request)
Joe Jervis, Rod Townsend and Greg Walloch

Moving right along, I was informed that there would be a little after gay-say at Nowhere, a bar I have on my emergency martini list. Location, location, location. But I had a couple priorities. Namely I'd only had a slice of pizza and a Snapple in the last few hours and I knew I had a dog at home with his hind legs crossed cursing me out with doggie swear words. Ever the multi-tasker, I decided to grab some sushi on the way home and then bring dog and bar together for two, two, two treats in one. I hadn't counted on the fact that either Tuesday nights there have really taken off, or the bar was crazy busy because it's Pride week, but either way the joint was packed, so Jet and I took over the little alcove in the front. I enjoyed a couple of Stoli/sodas and Jet got tons of attention and all the popcorn he could scarf down.

Leather Daddy

In another attempt to make the scene during Pride week I sashayed over to the Folsom Street East outdoor street fair. To say it's not really my scene is an understatement, I was greeted by a sea of back hair and steroid acne. The cliche hypermasculine, overdeveloped "macho" daddy doesn't do it for me. At best, I think of it as just another costume for gay men and at worst, I think it's classic overcompensation. My first daddy didn't work out all that great, I have no need to try and replay it.




They did manage to appeal to something I like. There was shopping.



Like all good gay events, they put on a show. A couple of singers, blah blah blah. Hey now, what's this? A group called En Guard. A gay/lesbian color guard. Oh like I could make that up!




I want a sparkly fake gun, immediately.

I admit, I wasn't feeling so hot that day. And it was so unbelievably hot that day that I will cop to being a bit of a crank, but the leather "costume" just looks silly on me and to me. Can I just have a side of dildos and wrist restraints to go? I think I was officially lost the minute I decided to sashay.

Where Does One Find The Time?

This came in the mail yesterday morning. I've only had time to take it out of the box and read the directions. Can you imagine? Too busy to take a 1/2 hour and stimulate my prostate? What's this world coming to?

The Hellcat has gone to Fire Island until gay Pride, when he has to work. The Ex will be spending Pride in Toronto. He'll be back for a couple of days and then he's off again for another 5 day trip. So I get Pride weekend and the apartment all to myself. Bring your prostate. I'll have time.

Little People, Big World

is a great show. It made me cry today. You need to check it out.

Outside

Hypocrisy exists in our world today
when those that are out can only go so far
and society is surprised when those who prefer to hide
react with violence to threats of opening closet doors
because, in darkness, they are safe from those responsible
for reducing our brothers and sisters to dust and memories
like Matthew and Brandon and Sakia and Rashawn
and way too many others to name

Those of us that are out, in these empty rooms,
dance ignorantly to the occasional drum beats of liberty
While the only difference between us
and those huddled in corners and shadows of fear
is that we have a little more space to breathe
Yet the smell of equality is only truly found outside
where there are no limits or debates on how to legislate desire
and sexuality is simply the right to physical expression
between consenting adults

We could live out of the closet but we could never leave this house
Monsters, especially those with hideous diseases and colored skin,
are not welcome in the open fields of America
where others could dare to dream of marriage or adoption or political office
or defend our country from imaginary weapons of mass destruction
because not all of God’s children are worthy to see the light
beyond these cold white walls
We are only tolerable as long as we remain silently lingering indoors

Straight friends sometimes visit to feed our hungry souls
with stories about journeys and adventures
Taking the time to join us and mourn the memory of our dead
before heading back into the privilege of sunlight
Leaving us behind to wave goodbye from gated windows
unable to come out and play
If only we could run past the prejudice and feel the wind across our chests
Discover lands starving for diversity
and star filled skies awaiting to shine for us too

In the distance, the emptiness of towers fallen,
a cruel reminder of our perversions and sins
as preached by religious men with tongues that are holy enough
to lick the innocence of children
to touch the openings of children
While faint sounds, unrecognizable as cries,
emerge from underneath closet doors

There are too many of us in this house
located on a land far away from Normal
Chanting songs of freedom every day
We only want to be outside,
we only want to be outside,
we only want to be outside,
The Lord is outside

It’s no wonder some would rather die moths in the closet
when butterflies are not free

Copyright 2005 by Emanuel Xavier for Suspect Thoughts Press. All rights reserved.

In Review

I've been enjoying the luxury of doing a lot of reading lately. I thought I'd pass on some impressions from some recent books, and a movie.

I finally finished Blackwood Farm. I'm afraid I don't recommend you do the same. Even with 30 pages missing from the middle of my copy, it was a total slog to get through, and I only finished it to finish it. It's like Anne Rice took some Lestat bread and made a book sandwich out of it but forgot the meat and mustard. The plot is plodding and nonsensical, and then the ending is rushed through and poorly executed, In the end, I didn't really care what happened to anyone.

Next, I finished and really enjoyed The Social Lives of Dogs. You can read the Publisher's Weekly review of the book on the Amazon page. It's spot on. I can only add I found the book fascinating and touching and remarkably funny. I found a lot that applied in getting to know my new dog.

I can't recommend enough that you pick up a copy of Magical Thinking by Augusten Burrows. It's great summer reading and you can finish it quickly, or do what I did and carry it around with you, It made waiting for subways and take out food as well as bus rides about as enjoyable as can be. I saw alot of myself in these stories, and I love the way he writes. I'll be picking up his other books very soon.

The movie I absolutely loved I've been wanting to see for some time now was Mysterious Skin. It was directed by Greg Araki, whose work I've been following for years. This is probably his finest, most complete film to date. Joseph Gordon-Levitt delivers a nuanced, mature and complex performance of a boy truly fucked up by his childhood. While the subject matter is disturbing, the story itself is powerful and the ending, while predictable, is satisfying.

So there you have it, proof that I don't just watch porn. Anybody want to recommend my next book?

PS. I was going to post some pix of my visit to Folsom Street East but Blogger is being all uppity right now. Maybe tomorrow.

"This Is New York City, Bitch ...

You Can't Fuck With Us." By far my favorite chant from the AVP march today. More pictures and a recap later.

What's All This Fuss About Violins In The Street?

Anti Violence rally and march. In words and pictures. You can click on the pictures for the full size.

I rolled up at the rallying point on 1st Ave. and 14th right at 2pm. It was a decidedly rag-tag bunch at first. Although eventually between the marchers and the media there was a sizable crowd.

















Drag entertainer Hedda Lettuce makes a last minute wig adjustment while conferring with self-styled "Gay pimp" Jonny McGovern.

We started out being told the march to Greenwich Village would be confined to the sidewalk, but that proved impractical due to a turnout NY1 stated "in the hundreds" and we quickly took to the streets blocking traffic.



We're here! We're queer! Hot man!



A small stage was supposed to be at the end of the march. It wasn't located immediately so La Lettuce, ever the improvisational girl, took to a lamp post to speak her mind.


The crowd was very East Village. I guess there's still a militant streak in some fags today. It was good to see. Eventually, Kevin Aviance tearfully made an appearance and managed to give a short speech despite the wired shut jaw. I didn't get a picture as the media crush was at it's crushiest.




















Michael Lucas unleashes the Anti-Violence Pout. It's like Blue Steele only more "activisty".





All in all, I felt like we turned it out for the cause, and since I always try and do something positive for the gays during pride, if I accomplish nothing else this week for my peeps, well, I've got this.

More coverage and photos here.