Wednesday, April 12, 2006

This N That

Grudgingly, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that he seems to sort of get it, now. But isn't that what I've been saying? Sprinkled with liberal doses of "fuck" and "fuck you" of course.

I spent yesterday afternoon trading e-mails with Ricky (Yeah I'm 300 lbs. but it's all muscle) Taylor. The mutation that he is went absolutely ape-shit when I banned him from dribbling any of his Krispy Kreme laden hate speech in my comment section. Here's an excerpt from one of about 25 e-mails he shot my way:

blocking me on ur blogsite is hilarious, u little aidsy boy -- i see
that u like to control things around you. what an anxiety pity. i
saw ur pic of ur ass -- so gross. so old, so hag. so aidsy. i even
forwarded it to friends -- we got kicks out of this. u're sad faggot
who needs to talk with ur therapist about being obsessed with ME.
please keep lying to your readers about how good u are -- you got
fired from three jobs in a short time. what does that tells you?
u're bitter queen -- u're tragic character that could not produce any
money in greek tragedies! LOL

Lovely man, huh? I responded to every one of them, usually with some rejoinder ending with "you're fat".

Speaking of fat shit, I happened by the gym yesterday afternoon after a fake N bake session so it could wash the lotion off it's skin. Heading into the shower area I pass an older (than me!) gentleman finishing getting dressed to go out on the floor. He has on a shirt and grey shorts and a pair of all-white Payless sneakers. I know. As he bends over to make an adjustment to his sock I am suddenly and glaringly jolted to spy a half dollar size shit stain right where you would think a shit stain ought to be. I briefly considered what would be the best, least embarrassing (for him and me) way for one to broach this subject and quickly decided there wasn't one. I also surmised that if that stain wasn't recent and this guy is married, his wife not so secretly despises him.

Following up on my (self-appointed) role as consumer gadfly, I've been meaning to point out that supposedly a meeting took place at my beloved (but oh so crowded) Whole Food Market, The subject of which was what (if anything) to do about the Trader Joe's situation? It seems (and I know this to be true) that there is regularly a line outside Joe's that runs down 14th st. even weekdays in the afternoon. The story is that Whole Foods is runnin' scared. They needn't worry. On my forays into Trader Joe's I've found the store and it's customers rather like those that fly Southwest Air, which most people liken to a bus ride in the sky. Joe's customers are largely boorish and ungainly. They natter on into their cell phones and obliviously block your way down the aisle or lumber tragically into you with their basket slamming you in the spine. The line outside just seems to reinforce the bovine behavior you seem to need inside. I'll stick with my refined Whole Foods and their genteel sushi bar thank you.

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