Liza With A Z ...

Girl! The Duchess almost seriously over medicated. I was feeling tense all afternoon. Jump out of my skin tense. The Buspirone is for general anxiety. It keeps me who usually sees eight sides to a situation down to two or three. But sometimes I manage to "crazy up" right through that medication at which point I dose with half a Clonazepam. It usually does the trick. Not today. I had to rush to Callen-Lourde for some bloodwork (a little prick), and then in to work. I got through getting pricked OK but work had me tensing up so I chewed down the other half of the Clonazepam. It worked. It so worked. I found myself grabbing on to tables and door handles to keep from toppling over. It was basically an hour or so where I was alert one minute and hanging on to sound equipment the next. I was fucking high! Once the hour passed I was pretty OK though.

So wish me luck. I'm a little worried about the blood test. I lost some significant ground on my last test and my Doctor told me if my numbers got worse we would have to talk about medication. I had a bad winter and tested after coming down with the flu and then this time, when I have had a three week long winter cold. Besides that, I was informed by the health care person I spoke with on the phone that my doctor is leaving. Which means my 3rd doctor in three years that will have to get to know my case. Thankfully, I know my case and my case history. I keep records of every test. Today when I gave my blood I made sure that they were checking my testosterone (they were). There's no point in going on the therapy if they forget to check if it's working. I'm finally feeling fine though, so even if I get some more bad numbers I plan on asking for one more test before I agree to start medication. Maybe I'm being stubborn or maybe (as I believe) I know my body and I know how I feel. As proof, I'm planning on getting up an hour early and braving the returning winter cold to hit the gym for some desperately needed cardio and ab work.