I'll be heading back to New York City and my Castle High Atop Second Avenue early this evening. I should be sitting on my couch by 9:00 and masturbating by 10:00, as it's been a week since I've had any "personal" time and I find myself hungrily eyeing well-muscled teenagers whenever we pass them in the car. It's dirty and sad but there you have it.
I'm very glad to see that my parents seem well and healthy. It won't always be so but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and I'm in no hurry. I'm also glad to report I didn't need to avail myself of the AA meeting list I brought with me. I never really thought that my parents bore very much responsibility for my alcoholism in the first place, beyond simple genetics. I suppose you could make a case that some of the underlying issues that helped my drinking take root might be traced back to my childhood, but I am a firm believer that blaming your parents for your failed adulthood is a uniquely American exercise in not taking personal accountability for your actions.
I started drinking, I kept drinking, I took drugs and I lost control of it all, assuming I ever really had it. Maybe at some point along the way I was compensating for or covering up something painful or hurtful that was instilled but ultimately, I was hurting myself and when I finally faced that truism, my road became easier and clearer. I enjoyed quite a bit of clarity this week.
And some surprises. Had you told me before this week that both of my parents absolutely loathed George Bush and the current administration, so much so that they are both not only for, but actively for, vociferously for and voting for a black man for President of the United States I would have felt your forehead for fever, but that is indeed what is happening. And from all that was said this week, short of Barack Obama actually joining the Taliban and declaring jihad on the Town of Tonawanda, there's not a thing that John McCain and the Republicant's can do or say that would change their mind. And if they reflect the sentiments of most semi-conservative, disaffected, lower-middle class Americans, I'm ready to call this a win for Barack and tell John, Sarah and her slutty teen aged daughter to fold up their tents and go home.