Stuyvesant Park, yesterday afternoon.

Let it Snow, Let it, ah.....fuck it.

I'll stay off the "sex life of a blogger" bandwagon for now (although I do have one and it's half written already). I'll tell you this story instead.

Of course, because I have plans to go to Neo's surprise party yesterday, it snows. A genuine snowstorm, and this from a boy what grow'd up in Buffalo. It started around 6:30 ish just as I was heading to the store to pick up Neo's gift. His player got fragged by the electronic poltergeist Neo is plagued with. He's complained on more than one occasion about not being able to watch his favorite DVD's but he's been covering a lot of other expenses of late and just didn't get around to replacing it. So a casual, "Oh, by the way have you replaced your DVD player yet?" And I knew that's what I needed to get him. Anyway, the snow began with enourmous, white fluffy flakes. They were so big you could actually hear them plop on to the pavement when they landed. It was quite beautiful as they were swirling down from the sky. Twenty minutes later as I'm returning home it had changed. The fluffy flakes became wind whipped painful little ice pellets that hit you in the face tearing tiny bits of your flesh away. I made my way to the grocery store, and another twenty minutes later it had changed again. Back to snow but normal sized now and piling up fast. By the time I arrived back home I was no longer sure if there would even be a party or if Neo could get in from Jerzee. I sent him a text casually inquiring if his "dinner plans" with P--- were still on. I got a one word reply "yes". So, I dutifully wrapped up the gift and began my crosstown trudge. I had plenty of $$$ for a taxi but trudging is more fun and it's where I snapped this cool picture:



I made it across town after a stop at my gym to grab a hot shower (The water pressure in my bathroom shower is so bad this winter, the water just sort of bubbles out of the shower head and runs down the wall. It produces a grotto effect which, if not for the possibility of extreme water damage to the downstairs apartments, I would leave running at all times. If you do manage to get some water out of the head, it's annoying. Like taking a shower while someone's constantly spitting on you.) and snap a few pics. The "restaurant" where we had the party was quite interesting. It was called the Greenroom on 6th/26th. The place is filled with plants. Enourmous plants. Everywhere One whole side of the place is walkways like an indoor botanical garden and you can walk around and look at the plants and the pots and the big fountain. It's actually quite pretty. Here's a couple of shots.





Unfortunately, because the storm was still stormin the turnout was quite scarce. Mostly the hardcore for real friends and family of Neo's plus a couple of geeks and wierdos that he has a tendency to collect all the time. We had our own little area and a waitress and a way cute bartender that would repeatedly and quickly lift up his shirt to show you his abs every single time he was asked. They had some chicken wings (not on my diet) pannini of various sorts (not on my diet) ziti in a cream/tomato sauce (I don't think so) and chicken and pepper skewers in a mustard dipping sauce (success!). I had thirty. (I'm lying) I had 5 very weak vodka/sodas and I wasn't the least bit buzzed. Gifts were opened and the most gorgeous birthday cake I ever did see was cut and ate (no, I didn't). We all finally agreed it was time to go. The kids decided they wanted to head down to Pieces as Tuesday is kareoke night. I thought why the hell not? I wasn't looking for anything but what the hey, if one of those Pieces college age cuties said pretty please, can I suck you off would I say no? No. Alas, we just all sorta hung out and listened to some bad kareoke. I insisted I would participate but only if we all did it and only if they could find "Natural Woman". It is the only song I will kareoke to. About 1:30 ish (maybe 2) I started to feel all pumpkin like, so I made my way over towards the front door. With a quick check so as to be sure I had no witnesses "poof" I was gone in a puff of smoke. At one point, as four of us were riding to Pieces through the village, Neo got a phone call. Obviously a friend, obviously asking about the party. " I got a DVD player." I am smug. I am self-satisfied.

I almost forgot!

"A long-simmering feud between teenagers erupted in violence yesterday when a schoolgirl wielding a kitchen knife stabbed another girl during a brawl in a Manhattan subway station, police said."

uh-huh, and?

"The violent outburst left yanked-off hair extensions and a scuffed neck brace lying near the token booth, and blood on turnstiles and the subway floor."

Dang! It bad enough dat bitch stabbed my ass, den she had 'ta rip out mah weave!

How Cool Am I?

I posted an ad on Craigslist I was lookin to suck some dick before work...... What?


>Hi...I work close by and get off work today at 2:00. I am married and 38. Let me know if this can happen.
Sean
(insert picture of really hot man here)

>Sounds great. Let me know if still interested. Here's my picture. I have a goatee now
Tom

>sounds real good, Can I come over at 2:45. I am D&D free hope you are as well.
Sean

>I guess this won't work. While I am drug free I am hiv+ and I don't lie about it. Sucking you off is safe for you but it wouldn't be cool for you.
If that's really your picture you're fucking hot
Take care.
Tom

>hi...yea that's really me. Thanks for being honest. I hope everything is well with you.
Sean

>I'm totally fine. thank you
Tom

Some pictures I took....

I've taken up photography. I have no idea if I'm any good at it nor do I care. I enjoy it so today I wanted to share. I will continue sharing throughout the day.


This is one of the new waterfront areas on the UWS. Apparently no one could figure out how to make the water come out from this surfboard/water fountain. When I managed to find the on/off button underneath I was revered by women and children everywhere. The ability to make water makes you a god....


Also on the westside but closer to the village. I see possibilities here. A path leading out to the unknown.


This was over the summer on a visit to Buffalo. I felt......watched over.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm not even slightly sleepy. Side effect of working in a bar. I just sat down on Carson Kressley's face to finish out my one day continuos blog. I got a lot done today. I still feel like I have a million more things to do. I guess that's good, right? Anyway, if you need me, I'll be enjoying a couple of sleep inducing vodka/sodas at Dick's. Yo, peace out mah peeps.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm a little concerned about The Hellcat. He started complaining over the weekend about what I thought was at worst a cyst of some sort. It's on ..... it's around.... it was on his ass. (sigh) Yes, the thought did cross my mind that I could get him to show it to me but that would be exploitation of the worst kind. It's not like I'm a doctor so if I had taken a look, I would have been able to confirm..... "well that's red and swollen all right." and been of no help whatsoever. I did, as a friend should, call him on his day off and see how he was feeling. Apparently, the ass damage was now the size of a softball (with a smaller area of the same kind around the knee). M--- was theorizing it was a staph infection. I sort of scoffed at the idea thinking that you only got that in a hospital and usually through an open cut or wound and it has been a couple months since he had been to St. Vinny's. I just didn't see how it could be staph. He claimed to have spent a night at a friend's place on a bare mattress and they have been having all kinds of infectious issues. But ever the self-medicating self-diagnosing girl she is M--- had already started antibiotics left over from the bug bite inection. I chatted him up today on the phone and he's feeling better. The low grade fever has abated and the antibiotics appear to be working. He asked me to look up the details of treatment indicators for a certain antibiotic and that's when I found this lovely bit of information. These are his symptoms exactly. I'm trying to get him to go to an actual doctor and get a full prescription of antibiotics as they recommend finishing the tretment to the end. I'm not sure why he's resisting.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

So I bet you're dying of curiosity as to how I'm doing on my diet. Fuck you, somebody might care. Well, the truth is it's going great. I haven't cheated, not once. Not a Pringle, Dorito or bit of rigatoni passed these lips. I had no potato in any of it's insidious forms. Not baked, french fried nor mashed. Not a single grain of rice. As we speak I'm enjoying my "lunch" of ground sirloin burger with tomato slices and asparagus in vinagrette. Not that I was feeling poorly before but I can tell you I am noticeably more energetic. A single cup of coffee and I feel awake and alert in the morning. I did falter as to the shear volume of food towards the end of the week. I was on the closing shift at the bar and, in effect swapped sleep time for a meal. This week, I increased the amounts of food I eat and cut out some of the snacks, as it fits in better with my lifesyle. Almost naturally moving into a more natural "Phase 2" breakfast/lunch/dinner plan. Still sticking with the Phase 1 food though. Considering my diet consisted of Blimpie sammiches/chips/turkey burgers and fries, I'm finding quite a bit of variety to choose from. Have I lost any weight? I don't know, we don't own a scale. It's only been a week and a half but I think "the baby" is starting to shrink. I'm heading for the gym in a few minutes and I'll hop on their scale. It doesn't give the correct weight but I remember what it said the last time. If you want to see everything I ate (but not everyone, and that's a whole 'nother subject) this week it's in the link below:

One Week Diet Log.htm

addendum: I couldn't resist going to the drugstore and picking up a new digital scale. I've lost 8 pounds. I'm petit.

______________________________________________________________________________________

A new reader expressed a bit of confusion as to the identity of Al Coholic, my former room mate, thinking that it might be Jabba The Drunk, my co-worker. (Ed. Note: This confusion should be dispelled as they are both getting distinct nicknames in a blog edit.) First, oh God, if I had been living with him and working with him (either him) I would have smothered him with a pillow in a late night liquor fueled rage. But it started me thinking that it's only natural that the characters in my life become characters in the reader's head as well. In my desire to grant anonymity to everyone but myself that is the reason I used first initials only. Perhaps it would be less confusing (and more readable) if I thought up nicknames for the prominent people in the blog. Of course, that would mean editing the last few months of posts. An all day project to be sure, but I spent four hours on the aforementioned tech problem and another four hours last night cleaning up (as it were) and sorting my on-line porn collection. I'll have to think about it.

I'm hooked up

Ed. Note: I'm going to try something new today. Multiple posts on multiple subjects reflecting my multiple personalities. There's just a lot doin' and I'm busy doin' it so I'll just pop back in and out all day. Is it a sign that you're a serious weblogger when you have content to post backed up in the pipeline?

Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things, but I did manage to hook up the wireless network in my apartment. It took about four hours to accomplish it (plus over two hours the previous day reading up on the subject). I've heard tales of people keeping at it for three days or longer. Neo asked me why I didn't just call tech support or find someone to do it for me. That's so not me. I like to solve a problem. Figure out the answer. Come to a conclusion. I wish that I could have let you feel how my heart started beating faster when it became pretty clear I had figured it out. The Ex's new Dell is now hooked up wirelessly to the internet as is my laptop. I have a tremendous feeling of satisfaction at accomplishing this. Sometimes, it's the small victories that matter the most.

Calling All Geekfags, Calling All Geekfags..


01/16/2004, 6:13 p.m.

tommyric
( All tommyric's messages )


wireless connection to notebook not working Reply
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I set up a Linksys wireless broadband router and after fiddling with the setup a bit everything is working fine as far as my PC (XP) connection. I have a Linksys notebook adapter in my laptop that I have been using for a few months (coffee shops, etc.) If I mouse over the connection icon in my system tray my laptop (also XP) "sees" the connection as excellent but when I try to open any browser my laptop isn't using the wireless connection. Are there settings I need to check on my laptop? I would like it to default to wireless unless I tell it to dial in. Do I need to re-install the wireless card?

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01/16/2004, 6:16 p.m.

parrotgeek7
( All parrotgeek7's messages )


Re: tommyric's message on 01/16/2004 at 6:13 p.m. Reply
Overall Rating: Not Yet Rated

in your configuration tab for your card you should have an automatically connect button or box to check. also you can list the prefered wireless connections in the preferences or choose, any available network too.

All the choices are in your cards preferences/options tab

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01/16/2004, 7:29 p.m.

tommyric
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Re: parrotgeek7's message on 01/16/2004 at 6:16 p.m. Reply
Overall Rating: Not Yet Rated

thanks, but I checked those settings. They're already configured for that.

Ed Note: Today I tried running the Internet sharing wizard first on my desktop, then on my laptop. Still no connection. And when I checked and re-checked the the LAN connection on my laptop I kept getting confirmed enabled. If anyone has a suggestion that works I'll suck you off.

Is There A Reason?

Now this is body dysmorphic disorder. Not this

I'm A Mini Geek

Small stuff for a lot of you, but I'm shutting down my system today. I need to install an Ethernet card inside my PC. My DSL line is currently through a USB connection. I need to change it to an Ethernet connection then I'm installing a broadband router. Theoretically after that I'll be able to hook up wirelessly with my laptop (very cool cause I frequently need pictures I have stored on my desktop) and (also theoretically) we'll be able to hook The Ex's new Dell to the network (hopefully wirelessly, I would hate to have to run a USB connection the entire length of the apartment). As a side bonus if this works he will split the cost of my DSL line with me. There's 20 bucks a month saved. (sigh)

I've completed 3 days on my new diet. Today, I finally feel fine. I was alternately hungry and jumpy and lightheaded. Fortunately I am quite familiar with the symptoms of withdrawl so I didn't really panic. I broke down and bought The South Beach Diet book because it was loaded with recipes and I'm a little bored with the choices I've had so far. I'm still having issues with my first meal every day as it's a very ingrained habit of mine to relax into my day with coffee and email and general puttering about. Today I managed to start cooking breakfast around 1:30 but then the recipe took so long to accomplish that it was still 2:20 before I sat down to eat. I'll get there.

Say a prayer to the technology gods for me. Sacrifice a toaster, maybe.

Delivery Day

I’m not going to bore everyone with another listing of what I fuckin ate all day. I am keeping a separate diet journal on my laptop that does list everything. I’ll see about putting the page online and then those that want to track it can. Suffice it to say that I successfully completed day two of my diet despite a close call when I was in my room jerkin ….err….werkin and glanced up at a lonely half-eaten bag of Frito’s (Scoops!). I believe it called me. I could have sworn I heard a tiny voice say “Eat me, who’ll know?” (A phrase you really can’t hear too often, if ya ask me.) But I will make these observations. At least at first, when you go on a diet of this type while you do eventually get filled (and who doesn’t appreciate that, I ask you) you do, in fact get ravenously hungry halfway through the day. Also, I haven’t hit the gym yet on this fuel. That’s scheduled for tomorrow. I’m interested to see how my energy level holds up.

From the land of recipes that I’ve discovered: Today I made a Edamame salad with radishes and wine vinegar that was a piece of cake and is loaded with healthy eating goody goodness. Tonight for dinner I made a London Broil with a tarragon mustard glaze that made my dirty man parts tingle. If you want either recipe or both e-mail me I’d be happy to send them. (Man uses food recipe in desperate bid for e-mail: Film at 11)

I spent the afternoon waiting for the UPS guy and chatting on the phone. The Ex finally broke down and threw in the towel on his crappy Mac and ordered himself a fully loaded Dell. Now before you MacCrackheads get all hissy when I say he had a crappy Mac I mean that literally. This thing looked to be about 7yrs old at least. This was from before the multi-colored clamshells arrived {ick). In short, truly a crappy Mac. Besides, I only know about PC’s. Whenever the squirrel on a wheel powering his Mac went down I didn’t know nuthin’ about helping him fix it. We’re talking about setting up a home network to save a little money. Problem there is I only have a rudimentary amount of knowledge about how to set up a wireless network. As in: I know such a thing is commonly done, I’m just not sure how to accomplish it. Or what equipment to buy. Time to ring up my little friends over at TechTV methinks.

The Dell finally arrived, (sans dude) right as Charmed started on TNT, which is right on time for this neighborhood. I love that. We’re on the late delivery route for UPS so we usually get our packages around 6pm or later. I try and get everything sent here by UPS because the FedEx people always wake my ass at 10am. As an added bonus, the T-Shirt I ordered a few days ago finally arrived. This purchase is a nod to my rather twisted sense of humor (I think it’s hilarious) but also further proof that I reject the notion that my illness is something that needs to be covered up. Exhibitionists don’t stop being exhibitionists just because we contract a potentially deadly virus. We just slap it on a T-Shirt and wear it to the gym.



After we put the new PC unopened into the guest room The Ex and I headed out to Circuit City as we needed to replace the TV in the living room that had up and died over the weekend. It was very “Love Story” One minute the old set was fine the next it gave out a little muffled cough and died. As I fell to my knees screaming “WHY?” I suddenly remembered that we practically have a TV hooked up to cable in every fucking room of this apartment as both The Ex and I seem to use the noise of it for company. I frequently have it on in one room while I’m working in another. Like now. If I ever become Richie Rich (or even Richie not so damn po’) I’ll get one of those wall mounted bathtub TV’s I covet and scorn all at once. I’m so short on disposable cash right now I had to let The Ex front my share of the new TV as I couldn’t even afford my half of the $300 it cost. That heroin, it will eat up your savings account, lemme tell ya.

Tomorrow I have a “date” with The Hellcat. (Friend date, not a maybe I’ll touch his willy date) he’s been having some trouble getting motivated during the day when he’s not working. I can relate, I sat in a director’s chair in my living room and smoked cigarettes for one whole year. So we made tentative plans to “do something” on the weekend and firmed em up over the phone today. It’s lunch around 2 and then 3:30 movie. We decided on that new Tim Burton movie Big Fish or Go Fish or I’m With Fish, who can remember? (Oh god, I’m my father) Problem is that shortly after we made these plans I finally made that service call to Verizon about my phone. I ended up talking to this really nice woman who nonetheless was incredulous that I could have been having phone trouble since December but I’m just getting around to it now. To which I replied what’s the rush? I e-mail. They are scheduled to come out (and possibly in to my apartment, if necessary) to fix it between 12-4. Let’s hope they come in squarely at 12. Otherwise, M--- is joining me in whatever dietary culinary masterpiece I can whip together unexpectedly. Good thing I’m gay.

If you were bread I would eat you

Day one of my modified Atkins/South Beach diet is complete. I have to say, I did get stoopid hungry about half way through but by the time I got through dinner I finally did feel full. I'm trying to decide how I actually "feel" but I think it's too soon to tell. I feel aware that something's "different", but I don't feel bad.....

Here's what I ate today... (and when)

Up at 12pm
6oz tomato juice at 2pm
vegetariam omelete w/bacon at 2:30
mozzarella string and diet Jello at 5:15

(This is when I got hungry and I'm sure my body was sending a WTF? signal)

Deli salad w/ Italian dressing at 7:30
2oz soy cheese at 9:15

grilled cicken breast
steamed cauliflower and salad with oil and vinegar dressing at 10pm

Lime ricotta creme at 11:45 (Blech)

This is way more food than I usually eat but what the hell, let's see what happens.....

How approprite - as I watch the last 20 minutes of The Blob

It's 4am. The bar is closed and I'm headed for bed shortly. When I wake up tomorrow I will begin a brand new diet/ way of eating. It's based (more or less) on the South Beach Diet which is based (more or less) on the Atkins Diet. The details are as follows: No bread No rice No pasta No fruit No rice No juice No carrots No potato (skins, french fries, chips, baked). Also no cookies cake candy and ice cream but that's no problem I don't eat stuff like that anyway. The only modifications I've made in advance are I'm ignoring the no alcohol proviso - what am I, a savage? But in a nod to the diet I've given up the cranberry mixer, which in the case of my bar is actually a cranberry flavored sugar laden non- nutritional syrup. Club soda with lime instead. This alone may make a huge difference. And I'm not giving up coffee. I switched from 2% skim to fat-free milk. I already don't use sugar.

All of this because I decided two things. 15 years of working in bars and restaurants and my diet is for shit. I frequently wake up at noon (like today) and end up puttering around the house, blogging (hello) and running errands before work. I get to the bar by 4:30 and unpack my first meal around 5pm (!). My body is already in starvation mode by then. I usually manage another meal by around 10pm and that's it. A far cry from the three meals and two snacks my current diet recommends. Pasta, bread and white rice are also de rigeur in my diet. The upshot .......BACKFAT. And a little SIDEFAT. And a little PUDGE up front. Now mind you, I go to the gym on a regular basis so I've seen some guys 10 yrs. younger than me who are seriously fat. I'm not running around saying I'm fat. I have some fat. And I have a crappy diet. I'm hoping if I stick to this for a couple weeks I will accomplish two things: I will shave off the middle age middle of the body quit smoking five pound paunch I've developed. And I'll jump start my appetite/diet to a way more healthy three sqaures a day with a couple of healthy snacks. Eventually, I'll put back the pasta, fruit and (non-fat) yogurt. Now I took a set of before pictures today with my li'l belly all relaxed and poochy. Also a side and back picture. And just for the record, the pictures make me feel a tad better. I'm much more critical live. In the pictures what I'm trying to fix is still there just not as bad. But assuming this is a success in a few weeks I will take some new pix and publish the before and after shots. I'll try and blog my daily meals for at least the next two weeks to clock my progress. Stay tuned, chitlens.

Oh yeah, that's what it feels like

Warning: This post contains explicit sexual content. If you are easily offended or know me too well to want to read completely intimate sexual details about me, feel free to skip today's entry.

I inexplicably overslept till the crack of noon today. I say inexplicably because I was in bed by 2 am as I was off from work and already breaking one of my resolutions. I know I said I'd go out more but after coming off a New Year's weekend complete with an extra 10 hrs. tacked on to my normal 50 hr. work week Helen was tired, girrrrrl. I spent yesterday puttering around the apartment cleaning this and straightening that, waxing my butt, changing lightbulbs, you know, life maintenance. So this afternoon as the bean god coffee is working it's magic on me (and preventing diabetes, too!) I'm in the chat room on gay.com. That particular profile I'm using (of three) has my profession or my hobby (I forget which) listed as amatuer photographer. I get a IM pop from a guy who claims to be 20 and in midtown. His picture looks cute enough and seriously all of 20 but I thought what the hell. I'll see what he wants. We start a conversation and he quickly brings up the photography and do I do people.

"By people if you mean guys naked then yes I do."

I start asking a lot of questions to try and see if he's serious because until you get into it, you'd be surprised how many people fantasize about posing nude and even go so far as to book a time with you and then totally punk out at the last minute. I've gotten pretty good at weeding out most flakes before they can waste my time. I guess it's also because I don't charge them to do it, maybe they figure I'm not serious either. Anyway, he couldn't resist cracking wise enough to make me seriously doubt whether he was interested or just making me dance a bit. Sorry pal, it's a hobby I enjoy. I don't beg.

"You're not serious."
"I AM SO serious.
"I think you're just goofing."
"Jeez, are you gonna be such a bitch the whole afternoon?"
"LOL I am not a bitch I'm a really cool guy!"
"Yeah, you seem cool."

And I was hooked. I love when boys call me names. Once I was convinced he was up for it we set a time this afternoon and I set about grabbing some soup for lunch and a shower. You can't photograph boys naked without being freshly showered. I replaced my camera batteries threw the dirty dishes in the sink and the buzzer rang promptly at 4. He's definitely all of 20. I show him a photo album from this year with a couple of the other guys I've done and I give him the speech about how I'm not going to attack him and he's totally in a safe space. He tells me he's very uninhibited and to just tell him what to do *grin*. We did a bunch of shots shirtless in jeans. He's telling me he's not photogenic but I'm totally seeing a cute boy through my camera. Maybe they're all cute at 20.

"OK jeans off."

He strips down to white 2Xist. It's the new ones that sort of bunch up your package all in the front. I can already see that he's cut. I did a few shots with different lighting and with a flash and without. Getting his body at different angles. He did, in fact, seem pretty relaxed so we moved to my bedroom. More 2Xist shots. A little pube action. Why is that so hot? When a guy is stripped down and just the top of his pubic hair is showing.



"OK flip over and strip let's see that butt."

Need I say it? He was 20. It was small and tight and round. I started to salivate a little. The obligatory mess of butt shots at various angles. Flip again. Some dick shots.

"Do you want to get hard for me?"
"Sure."

flip, flip, flip and boing there it is (20).

A nice cock. A respectable 7" or so and pretty thick. I took some hard on shots and then I couldn't resist reaching over to stroke it a couple times. I didn't think he'd mind. He didn't. He flipped over one more time and I got him up on all fours ass up for a bunch of shots. That's when he started really stroking just for the pleasure of it.

"Let me do that."

I spit slick my hand and start stroking his hard cock which gets him even harder and I hear a soft moan. I move in and lightly lick his balls this time I'm rewarded with a hiss. Yeah, that I love having my balls lapped, hiss. I can't resist so I pull his dick back between his legs and start sucking him. I let go, and he flips over and keeps stroking. I tried to take a couple more shots knowing full well they weren't going to come out.

"I think the shoot is over."
"yeah."

I start taking off my jeans.

"Take the shirt off too."

You don't have to ask twice. So now we both start to jerk off when he pulls me closer and his hand goes around my ass and brushes around my hole. Now who's hissing? Is he thinking what I think he's thinking? He reaches between my legs and goes for my hole again. Uh-oh

"I want to fuck you."

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech. Shit.

Here goes.

"Listen, you saw on my profile I'm HIV + right?"
"Yeah, it's no problem."
"You sure?"
"Sure."
"Get a rubber and some lube."

So he's suiting up and I'm flipping over and he's moving between my legs all nice and hard and then wham! He goes all the way in all at once. Sweet Jesus, Oh MY Fucking, OW! Easy kid! And I immediately curse myself for not even considering that after a year (at least!) of nobody knockin at my back door that I shouldn't have tried to take this kids fat cock without teaching him how to crank the motor right.

"Oh god, fuck! Ow! I'm sorry man, I can't."

Disappointedly he pull out and starts half heartedly jerking off. And I'm like, come on, Helen. Did you forget everything you learned about butt sex? And I'm like fuck, no. I know what to do. So I get up and straddle this twink and once he gets the idea of what I'm planning wham, he's boned up again and with that I grab hold and ever....so......slowly sit back on that 20 yr old cock. I reach back, yep he's all the way in and it feels fuckin good. This I could do for a while (and I do) but I glance at the clock and shit..... The Ex could be home soon we have to go. It's not like I'm cheating on anyone but there would be literally 20 questions to answer and a lot of pursed lip action so I pop off the cock and tell him I'm gonna cum. Which I do seconds later. Yes, I can sometimes cum at will. He keeps jerking for a couple more minutes and without even a moan or a twitch he blows his load. Yeah, you were a pretty dead fuck, weren't ya? But no matter I got some hot pics and one of my other New Year's resolutions? Mission started.

2003 wrap-up on New Years Day
(yes, I know what day it is I run a bar you think I have time to post to my blog on New Years? Deal.)

I sit here looking at a blinking cursor and I’m thinking. How in the world do I sum up this fuckin year? I truly do have so much I’m grateful for. I’m glad that I launched the spiritual journey that brought me here. I doubt I would have felt strong enough to handle all that has come down in my life the last year had I not spent so much time solidifying my beliefs and abilities into a way of dealing with problems and facing your fears and attacking the shackles years of mistakes and missteps I myself had created in my own universe. I’m happy I learned to trust myself and not seek validation for what I know to be right (for me) in others. I’m thrilled that this knowledge turned out to be true and a source of great comfort. Some people seem to want or expect or need me to fall to pieces in the face of the various challenges I confronted this year, and while I bent, I cracked, I wavered, I never gave up or gave in. I saw each crisis as an opportunity. A chance to prove to myself that I was strong and powerful and capable. I won’t rehash everything that happened in my life this year. Hello, weblog. Instead, I will try to prepare the universe in advance by launching my plans and plots from this page on this date.

In 2004 I will:

Re-learn French
Learn the American sign language alphabet
Begin learning Spanish (1st phrase – Stick it in me, Carlos.)
Finish learning Photoshop

In 2004 I will:

Finish details of bathroom renovation
Re-do the kitchen

In 2004 I will:

Go out more. Now that I have learned how to drink like an adult I should show off my new ability to enjoy a couple martinis and not pee myself.

See more theater. I love theater. It’s about as close as you can come to creating magic. I want to see more.

Throw more parties. It’s fun and I’m good at it. I will shoot for 4 over the top fun parties this year.

In 2004 I will:

Find a job that pays me in line with my abilities and experience. I deserve to make a lot more money considering the time and energy I always expend at whatever job I have. This job will be on the books and include retirement benefits.

In 2004 I will:

Have way more sex. With only 2 or 3 people is fine. If necessary, with 20 or 30. It’s more sex. How I accomplish it is irrelevant. Hey, if I have a bucketload of sex with just one man this year that would be OK too. Operative words: More Sex

So that's it. 2003 is over. I made it. Tap your sneakers on the door jam and shake the dirt loose. Be done with it. Slap a condom on 2004 and lube it up. I'm coming in.