I'm Not A Rabbit, I Need Some Rest ...

Godammit, I'm exhausted.

I spent Saturday afternoon running yet another birthday party for an overprivileged pre-teen. In actuality the child was lovely but her mom was a high-maintenance nightmare. I swear, these elaborate birthday parties for a 9 year old and fifteen of her friends are much more about the parents than they are about the kid, who I'm sure would be equally happy at a Chuck E. Cheese with a pocket full of game tokens. And as I've taken to saying lately, what's the point when the little moppet will more than likely end up 8 years from now getting high and blaming all her problems on the same people who dropped $4,000 on a 9th birthday she'll barely remember.

So I was already beat when my regular Saturday night shift started and that's just a pretty stressful night as it is. Don't get me wrong, as I said before I'm basically running the restaurant by myself these days, and I'm having a great time. I'm busy, I'm challenged and I'm totally engaged but it's a lot of work. I'm wiped by the time I get home around 2am. More so if I left the house at noon. Sunday I slept in and re-charged.

Monday I had a huge list of errands to accomplish, most importantly I had to get across town to the pharmacy as I was out of HIV meds. I'm always very conscientious about not missing a dose, however I will say I don't sweat taking my (now once a day) meds at the same exact time every day. It's usually sometime between 11 and 2, but it can be as early as 9am or as late as 3pm. I don't think I've missed a dose in over two years. There are some benefits to being a complete creature of habit. But I refuse to try and keep on an exact time. Who needs that stress and no one can convince me that the meds are on some exact 24 hr. window. I'm sure what you eat and when as well as a host of other factors would need to be figured. I'm confident just taking them at some point every day is far and away the important point.

In any case, since I had to trek across town and I've been feeling guilty about working so much and not being a good daddy for Jet I decided to take him with me. Walking across by myself is almost exactly a half hour. With a dog in tow, stopping at the Union Square run, avoiding big crushes of people and really noisy building construction turned it into well over an hour and a half there and back. And that's only because I wouldn't let him mark every tree and hydrant on the way. It takes him a while, but eventually Jet figures out this is a serious walk and he cooperates. He tends to walk a bit ahead of me, which the Dog Whisperer says is bad, but he constantly checks to see if I'm behind him and whenever we get to a crosswalk he stands right at my knee until I step in to the street. That's good enough for me.

By the time we got home and back up five flights of stairs, I was surprised when he wanted to play with some toys. Apparently it was a last burst of energy because soon after he was sacked out and snoring for about four hours. Mission accomplished.

I went back to work feeling recharged as well but I have a ton of projects piling up and it's much harder these days for me to disengage and work in the office. If it's a slow shift I can leave things in the hands of certain people, but none of them are other managers. The nightclub manager and I are really the only ones pulling any weight these days. And even that's not a complaint, but I'm wondering how long it will be before somebody actually notices. Tuesday I spent the afternoon working on payroll, which I eventually had to stop because we had another two hour birthday extravaganza to bang out, followed by a ridiculously busy live concert event that doubled as a taping for an MTV show.

Somehow, and don't ask me how, I've taken the job of gatekeeper at these events. Whenever we have a huge crowd of people for an event and a lot of guest lists to be run and cover charges to collect, you'll find me right in the middle of it trying to sort out who's who and who's not anyone. We usually spirit big name celebrities and performers in a back door. The problem is every "artist" that's laid down a vocal track and every one that knows someone that did automatically thinks a) that makes them important and b) they shouldn't have to pay a cover and c) they and all their friends should be on a guest list. I have the unenviable task of explaining your not, you do and not so much.

So I spend several hours holding back crowds of people that are "with" this label or that one. Everyone is some one's stylist or designer or make-up artist or balls shaver or some such nonsense. It's a lot of fun but again, by the end of the 13 hour day I'm done in.

People have a tendency when you're out walking your dog to try and approach you. Especially if you take some time to sit on a bench somewhere for a while. Most people have enough sense to inquire before they start anything.

"Is he friendly?"

To which I reply, "He really doesn't like strangers too much, I wouldn't bother him."

Of course by him I just mean me.

Monday Moment Of Zen

Got Gang Rape?

After the horrible happenings last weekend I knew it was coming. Still, even I didn't expect the Fire Department, Health Department, Building Inspectors, NYPD and the SLA all together all in one fell swoop. Plus the Spanish Inquisition. And nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

And while they weren't after me personally or anyone for that matter, I was selected as the least likely to panic and most level-headed (SHUT UP!) person to deal with the deluge of shields and badges. So I scurried about producing payroll records and permits and licenses and floor plans and all manner of paperwork and then accompanied the building inspectors as they went floor by floor to check out every sign and sink and light and poked their heads up in all my nooks and several of my crannies. Fortunately, I had just shaved my taint so I was clean as a whistle. Let that be a lesson to y'all.

The result, some emergency lighting issues, a few building violations, a fire extinguisher that needs replacing, some certificates that have to be produced and filed and only a single health code violation found in the entire restaurant and behind three bars.

All together I spent about 2 hours answering questions and pointedly avoiding several attempts to get me to implicate ourselves as some shady underground nightclub instead of the fun, friendly tourist trap that we are. If we're guilty of anything it's putting too much trust in a shady inexperienced promoter. Hopefully, the powers that be have learned a lesson.

And hopefully I won't have to have every inspector from every city agency descend on me again anytime soon. At least not without buying me dinner and bringing some lube.

Psst, Wanna Buy A T-Cell?

I got 779 of the little fuckers. You can have a few. That's slightly down but unbeknownst to me I was just starting this pesky cold when I tested so there's that.

Want some more numbers? I weighed in at a porcine 160 lbs. I have just over three weeks until my birthday. That last 10 lbs. could get ugly. I'm having a hard time stopping my nightly 3-way with Ben&Jerry. They're just so creamy!

Blood sugars are good, my liver needs onions and my cholesterol is down but still elevated. Fortunately my LDL (good) cholesterol is freakishly good so my health care lady is unconcerned.

I'm slightly anemic again, despite the extra iron. Indeed, my iron levels are fine. I'm just slightly anemic. It's hereditary.

Viral load? Undetectable.

While I was at it I got a booster shot to keep the pneumonia boogieman away for another five years. Tonight after I got home from work I nudged the heavy front door open with my shot shoulder. Ow.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled, albeit woefully undramatic blog.

Greetings From Planet Cryptic

If you're following the local news ... I'm fine, wasn't even there. My employees are all safe and fine. Other people ... not so fine.

Can't say more.

In-SIN-cere?

So as you may or may not know, I belong to a group here in NYC known as SIN. If you're too lazy to click on the link, it's a social/support group for HIV+ men and their friends, boyfriends etc. But it's mostly for HIV+ men. It's a social group more than a hookup site, and they get together once a month for a bar night, other times for a board game get-together. They've done a bowling night, lots of brunches, theater outings, you name it. Basically, it's billed as a safe, relaxed place where POZ guys can meet other POZ guys without worrying about your HIV status. Even if you don't meet anyone date-wise, the theory is that there's some common ground built in to the shared experience. And there is. It's a wonderful group that I don't take nearly enough advantage of.

Along with being a member I have signed up for the group e-mail list, and periodically get e-mail sent to the group about social events, doctor referrals, political meetings etc. Again, they run the gamut. But I have to say I was a tad surprised yesterday when I checked my e-mail and found this little missive in my In-box. It was a group e-mail sent out by none other than Project Runway dropout Jack Mackenroth. Here is the e-mail in it's entirety:

Hey Everyone--I need your help. If you don't know me or know of me, I was the openly HIV+ contestant on Project Runway this season. My name is Jack Mackenroth and I have been to several SIN events and promote it on all my websites. Bravo is currently having their fan favorite voting contest. I NEED YOUR VOTE! You can vote up to 40 times and with every entry you have a chance to win a $10,000 shopping spree yourself. If I am voted fan favorite I win 10K and I could really use the money. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Now first of all, opening an e-mail to an HIV+ support group with "I need your help" and then following it up with a plea for on-line votes to win 10k sets my teeth on edge right off. You don't need my help Jacqueline, you need me to take precious time out of my busy day to stuff the on-line ballot box so you can win money.

Why would I do this for you? Because you're HIV+? Am I helpin' a sistah out? Then why don't you at least cop to it? Why mention that you've been to several SIN events (only one that I know of, but I have no proof it isn't more) and that you "promote it on all your websites (sic)"? Really? I can only find the one web site(s). And it's decidedly thin. Less than a dozen posts in total. And you don't link to anything. And you only talk about you. Oh wait, there's a fresh post asking for votes. Damn, girl, you don't miss a trick. So what, exactly, do I get out of this besides helping some self-involved Chelsea "designer" (now there's a rare breed *snicker*) enrich his checking account? How much does Special K cost these days, anyway?

At least we finally get a germ of truth at the end, when the whiny MRSA victim finally just bald-faced admits "I could really use the money". Here's an idea you probably haven't considered Miss Jackie O-no-you-didn't. Howzabout you get yourself one of them newfangled jobs I been hearing so much about?

Sorry to harsh every one's day, but my initial reaction upon reading this e-mail was the same one I get when I happen across a picture of a vagina unexpectedly. Not out and out revulsion, but just a tiny bit "ew", you know? But the more I read it and thought about it other words came to mind. Like smarmy. And pandering. With a dash of exploiting your HIV status and me for cash, thrown in. Sorry Jack, you shady Queen. You and your hideously swollen lip will not be getting my votes. If I cast them at all I will give my votes to the Project Rungay designer that actually has some talent. That would be your replacement, Chris. Did you see those portfolio shots? Fagulous!

Asked And Answered

An update that answers my question as to what the current (Democratic) candidates think about repealing the embarrassing and blatantly discriminatory HIV+ travel ban.

This article was provided by Housing Works. It is a part of the publication Housing Works AIDS Issues Update.

January 4, 2008

Better not have any HIV meds in there ...

Some speculated that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was trying to pull a fast one when it gave the public a mere 30 days to respond to its proposed changes on a 20-year-old policy banning foreigners with HIV from entering the U.S. However, advocates and individuals weren't so easily had: Some 600 organizations and individuals responded to the DHS' December 6 comments deadline.

You can check out all the comments here. Among the organizations that weighed in were AIDS Action, the American Public Health Association, AIDS Project Los Angeles, the American Immigration Lawyers Association, Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), the HIV Law Project, Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, the International Women's Health Coalition. the International AIDS Vaccine Initiative (IAVI), National Immigration Forum and Physicians for Human Rights.

DHS' rule changes were ostensibly intended to ease travel restrictions for non-U.S. citizens with HIV but actually created new barriers.

Just before Congress went into recess for the holidays, Sen. John Kerry and Sen. Gordon Smith proposed a bill that, like similar legislation in the House proposed by Rep. Barbara Lee, would strike a provision in the Immigration and Nationality Act that renders people with HIV inadmissible to the U.S. and return authority for that determination to the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

On Christmas Eve, the Boston Globe ran an eloquent editorial in support of lifting the ban.

It's a tad disheartening that like Lee's version, it was released just minutes before Senate recess so it couldn't gain any momentum. Regardless there is only so much Congress can do -- HHS does not have to overturn the ban on HIV-positive travel and immigration. A change in the Oval Office may be the faster route to justice: Clinton, Obama, Edwards, Richardson, Dodd and Kucinich responded to the AIDSVote.org survey question, "Do you support the repeal of the ban against people living with HIV entering the United States as travelers or immigrants, and which bars those in the U.S. from legalizing their immigration status?" with a resounding "Yes."

"A Step Short of a Yellow Star"

The Update combed through the comments on the travel ban on regulations.gov. Below is a round-up of well-reasoned and passionate opinions from elected officials, organizations, and concerned citizens opposed to the new DHS regulations:

Sen. Edward Kennedy: "The proposed rule offers little value to HIV-positive applicants. Instead, it imposes strict requirements that unfairly limit travel to the United States in a manner that is inconsistent with the best scientific understanding of the disease. It is mired in the past, a past where people feared HIV as a contagious disease could not be controlled or effectively managed."

Gay Men's Health Crisis and the Lift the Bar Coalition (28 signatories): "The HIV entry bar fails even by its own logic: It undermines public and individual health and drives up the cost of health care. ... It forces HIV-positive immigrants to go underground, and discourages them from seeking care until they end up in the emergency room with full-blown AIDS. It is no wonder that the American Medical Association, the American Public Health Association and two Secretaries of Health and Human Services have all acknowledged that HIV entry bar is unjustifiable on public health grounds."

Elizabeth Wilkes (individual): "Every behavior that is associated with this damaging and discriminatory regulation is also associated with non-HIV illnesses. To single out HIV to demand these restrictions and behaviors is to open the door to any other illnesses and/or deformities that would be considered "non-desirable" -- identifying and dogging many innocent people. It is one step short of demanding that HIV-positive people wear a yellow star."

Julie Beschta (individual): I am writing to urge you to reconsider your current ban on the travel of HIV-positive persons to the US. Let us be a (positive!) leader in international policies!"

Human Rights Watch: "This law is contrary to international human rights protections against discrimination and serves no justifiable public health purpose. The United Nations International Guidelines on HIV/AIDS and Human Rights note that there is no public health rationale for restricting liberty of movement or choice of residence on the grounds of HIV status."

Seth Berkly, president of IAVI: There would be a real cost to be paid, in progress against AIDS, for this new policy. IAVI's scientific team, for instance, researches and develops AIDS vaccine candidates and conducts HIV clinical trials and clinical research through partnership with more than 40 academic, biotechnology, pharmaceutical and government institutions around the world. IAVI's work requires constant collaboration with scientists, policymakers and advocates from, among other places, those parts of the world hardest hit by the epidemic. Our headquarters staff travel to their home regions; they travel to our headquarters and laboratory in New York. If this exchange of people and ideas is hampered any more than it already is by further restrictions in immigration policy, the global effort to develop a vaccine will suffer.

To join GMHC's Lift the Bar coalition, contact: Nancy Ordover at nancyo@gmhc.org / 212-367-1240 or Vishal Trivedi at vishalt@gmhc.org.

You're Getting Sleepy ...

Just a few moments to post a couple of thoughts before the combination of NyQuil and sleeping pills puts me out for the night. I was recovering from my cold and feeling lots better when I pulled a shift working as the door bitch for a big R&B concert Tuesday night. Aside from being physically threatened by some punk-ass Suge Knight "Lite" promoter who, by the way, I could probably gay-slap down without breaking a nail, I was also battling a cold night in Times Square. About 700 people came in through the front door, and even though I was wearing a sweater, scarf and hat it was pretty fucking cold. I had gone in at 6pm, knowing it would be busy but expecting to be out by 9pm. Instead I didn't leave until almost 1 am. When I finally got to bed it was 4am and around three hours later I woke up with a hacking cough that would, not, stop. Realizing I would never get back to sleep that way I finally got up and knocked back some DayQuil and 1/2 an Ambien. Half an hour later I was drifting off to a sleep that lasted until almost 2:30 in the afternoon. Most of my day off was shot but what the hell.

I did learn one interesting tidbit. For weeks now I've been finding a little stream of dog pee starting in one corner of the living room and running under the coffee table. I sometimes clean it up immediately, but sometimes it happens three or four times before I clean it. I've always assumed it was Jet, even though it's a lot less than he usually pees outside. I thought he was just going to relieve himself until I got up to walk him proper. Imagine my surprise at 7:30 am when I find my roommate's dog out on the loose, having just left a fresh poop in the hallway and staring at me as I head for the bathroom medicine cabinet. It's then that I also discover a fresh puddle of pee, not yet running down the uneven floor towards the coffee table. Poor Jet has been falsely accused all along, and it's my roommate's dog that is the Secret Peepertrator.

That's it for now. Medicine kicked in, off to bed.

In The News ...

Here's a pic via The New York Times as well as video from You Tube of a symbolic protest by Italian artist Graziano Cecchini. He unloaded 500,00 multi colored plastic balls down the famed landmark Spanish Steps in Rome, Italy. The balls were a symbolic representation of the lies told by the Italian government or, as shoe store employee Gilberto Guibbini, made late for work by the stunt observed: "It was a lot of balls".

And while I'm getting all artsy-fartsy, here's a computer generated rendering of the East River Waterfall Project, four man-made waterfalls set to be installed and running this summer from July-October. The most striking and sure to be most photographed installation will be under the fabled Brooklyn Bridge. The mayor's office is guesstimating that the project could generate over $50 million in tourist revenue for the city. Plus it's stupid cool.

god Bless The USA

So I guess it should come as no surprise at all, considering if you're HIV+ you really can't even visit this great nation of ours that, if I recall correctly, was founded on the basis of tolerance and freedom from persecution. But it also appears that if you're HIV+ you sure as shit can't be a living, breathing, gainfully employed potential taxpayer and productive citizen of our "fair" shores either. As this e-mail via my people over at SIN will attest:

Hey Guys,
I am in the process of applying for my Green Card thru work sponsorship, and have just found out that If I test positive in the medical exam, (which I will) I'll be denied the Green Card. I am kinda freaked out by all this, and just wanna put it out there to see if anyone has any experience of this situation, overcome the hurdle, advice of any kind etc.

Also, I remember someone mentioning to me that a guy in our group recently got his Green Card, Does anyone know who this is? Any help would be much appreciated as the filing is happening now! If I have to go back to London its by far not the end of the world, but New York is my home now.
many thanks.

If anyone has any practical and reliable advice on this subject, be it legal or of the "define: legal" variety, please leave a comment or get in touch with me via e-mail. I will be sure and pass it on. And while I'm at it, considering the only questions that anyone portraying themselves as "representing" the gay community seem to be asking the presidential candidates have to do with gay marriage, which I could give a flying fuck about, I would dearly like to know unequivocally where the candidates stand on the HIV+ travel ban, as well as the equally heinous and blatantly discriminatory above mentioned HIV+ citizenship ban.

But maybe that's just me ...

PETA Will Kill Your Pussy

PETA Killed 97 Percent of “Companion Animals” in 2006. Death Toll Up To 17,400 -Report Describes PETA’s Deadliest Year Ever

WASHINGTON, DC— An official report from People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), shows that the animal rights group put to death more than 97 percent of the dogs, cats, and other pets it took in for adoption in 2006. During that year, the well-known animal rights group managed to find adoptive homes for just 12 pets. The nonprofit Center for Consumer Freedom (CCF) is calling on PETA to either end its hypocritical angel-of-death program, or stop its senseless condemnation of Americans who believe it’s perfectly ethical to use animals for food, clothing, and critical medical research.

Not counting animals PETA held only temporarily in its spay-neuter program, the organization took in 3,061 “companion animals” in 2006, of which it killed 2,981. According to Virginia’s Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (VDACS), the average euthanasia rate for humane societies in the state was just 34.7 percent in 2006. PETA killed 97.4 percent of the animals it took in. The organization filed its 2006 report this month, nine months after the VDACS deadline of March 31, 2007.

“Pet lovers should be outraged,” said CCF Director of Research David Martosko. “There are thousands of worthwhile animal shelters that deserve Americans’ support. PETA is not one of them.”

In courtroom testimony last year, a PETA manager acknowledged that her organization maintains a large walk-in freezer for storing dead animals, and that PETA contracts with a Virginia cremation service to dispose of the bodies. In that trial, two PETA employees were convicted of dumping dead animals in a rural North Carolina trash dumpster.

In Southampton County, Virginia, another PETA employee will face criminal charges in a dog-napping case. Andrea Florence Benoit Harris was arrested in late 2006 for allegedly abducting a hunting dog and attempting to transport it to PETA's Norfolk headquarters.

“PETA raised over $30 million last year,” Martosko added, “and it’s using that money to kill the only flesh-and-blood animals its employees actually see. The scale of PETA’s hypocrisy is simply staggering.”

The Center for Consumer Freedom is a nonprofit coalition supported by restaurants, food companies, and consumers, working together to promote personal responsibility and protect consumer choices.

Peekaboo!

So yesterday found me sitting in an exam chair at Lenscrafters. I had used up the last of my contact lenses and discovered that the "insurance" the thieves at Cohen's Fashion Optical on 23rd St. pick your pockets for had lapsed as well. Since I had to pay full price anyway and I've finally had enough of feeling like I've been raped (in the bad way) every time I go to the optometrist, I decided to take advantage of the fact that a Lenscrafters had opened around the corner and go see them. Plus, it's been at least four or five years since I had an eye exam, and I've been getting some pretty bad headaches and noticing some eye strain, particularly when I spend several hours on the computer. So I was due.

They did a pretty fast and efficient work-up and a no nonsense eye exam as well. I think it helped that I knew my prescription numbers so she didn't have to jump around trying to get any baseline and went right to seeing how bad my eyes have become. Pretty bad, apparently. Well, that's an exaggeration. More correctly, it seems my eye muscles, like the rest of my middle aged body, have grown kind of tired and flabby.

I have old eyes.

It's not so much that my vision deteriorated further. My prescription was only changed for one eye. It's that when I switch quickly from looking across a crowded restaurant to check on the bar to having to pick out a check number from a computer generated waiter's check, my eyes are, for all intents and porpoises, slow to get with the program. The check numbers are blurry, and I'm finding I can't read them at all in dim lighting. The result is lots of turning up and down lights in the station and repositioning checks to catch the optimum viewing. Many times I just have the waiters read them to me. I pretend like I'm far too busy to take precious time away to actually read their checks. No one is buying it. Least of all me.

So after the aforementioned brusque but efficient exam and fitting, and a promise that I would return next week to check the fit and also be dilated (HOT!), I emerged with not only a new prescription and pair of contact lenses, but a brand new pair of reading glasses to wear at the same time as my lenses, to make up for the fact that my eyes are decrepit pieces of crap. The only nice part I've managed to find so far in all this is they look kind of cute on me. Also, I spent about 1/2 hour at my desk practicing peering incredulously over my reading glasses at the person I am talking to. In an effort to make myself seem erudite and exasperated at the intrusion. It's important to work your new props as quickly as possible in to your repertoire.

Because I may be old, but I'm still gay.

I'll Have A Ketel One And Vodka ...

Ask any bartender you know how many times someone has ordered that at a bar, and when you repeat it back to them verbatim with the requisite arch of the eyebrow they confidently nod their heads and assert yes, that's what I want all right. At which point you gently (or not, depending on how late it is, and how many boneheads like this are in the crowd) point out that Ketel One is a vodka and ordering a vodka with vodka is just stupid.

Which brings me to last night and me volunteering to tend bar for the staff Christmas party at work. Yes, in restaurant/nightclub land we have to postpone our own party until January so we can spend all of November/December making money off of yours. I actually was looking forward to it for a few reasons, not the least of which is it helps your credibility all around if the staff sees you actually know how to do the things you ask them to. They, and I, have worked for plenty of bar managers that couldn't pull a bar shift if their life depended on it, much less cobble together a simple round for a waiting table. So I upped my respect quotient by several points after last night. Plus, while I don't experience the crushing social anxiety I did when I was drinking, I'll never be totally at ease in a party setting, but one place I'm completely confident and at ease is behind a bar. I love having a couple of feet of wood between me and everyone else. And it's almost like being on stage. It certainly is very much like a performance if you're doing it right. You make drinks as well as conversations. You dance, make fun of people, monitor their drinking, clean up after them and anticipate what they want and give it to them before they ask. I can't tell you how many people said to me last night, with a bit of surprise, "You're a good bartender."

"I know."

The one thing I did forget is how critically important it is to have the proper footwear for that job. I was always partial to Reebok all black sneakers with gel inserts. I even remember when we didn't have gel for inserts. I think they used hay. But I can say with absolute certainty that a cute pair of slip-on Vans and a thin pair of Peds is most definitely not the correct footwear for bar tending. As my feet were absolutely throbbing by the time I made it home and walked the dog. Plus, like sex, tending bar involves a set of muscles that atrophies without use. And while my shift was only five hours long, that's five hours more bar tending than I've done in several years.

Still, it's nice to know I still got it.

I wonder if I'm any good at sex anymore. Talk about underused muscles. christ!

I Will Eat Your Eyes!

Here's a retardedly cute picture of Jet and his latest friend, So far, his stuffing remains inside. Unfortunately, the first thing Jetty does when presented with a new toy is proceed to immediately eat the eyes off. While this doesn't make me afraid to sleep in the same bed with Mr. Jetorsky, I do have some concerns were I to die unexpectedly on a long weekend off work.

Look at that face. Given the opportunity and the proper level of boredom, he would most likely pluck out my eyes with his teeth and bat them around the floor before eating them.

I Feel Like Poop

Caught a cold. Not surprising considering all of New York City is a walking germ factory right now. A guy at my gym was sneezing, coughing, nose-blowing and generally being a gross disgusting bag of sick just the other day. Do the city a favor people, if you are currently feeling ill and are not yet on the down slope of the cold or flu you caught STAY THE FUCK HOME!

As for me, I've been trying to fight my cold for a couple of days with yesterday being the worst. I was exhausted all day and whatever sinus infection I got went all the way to my left eye. It was itchy and sore, quite painful. Oddly, only half my head feels stuffy. My headache is gone and I've been running a fever all morning, as my body starts to burn the bug out of me.

I think I can manage a light workout, but I promise not to sneeze on anyone.

Update: I did manage a half hour of cardio. It was an extremely sweaty event. Happily, the pain in my left eye has subsided. The sneezing started tonight, fortunately for the citizens of NYC I'm able to stay home. Still feverish and completely exhausted. Heading for bed.

No Time

Day off today and so much to do. I'm a pretty active guy and yet things pile up. To wit:

Go to gym. I've been twice this week already but I need a good long sweaty workout with some weights. Or a Peurto Rican hustler.

Go to Gay-A. I'm way overdue for a meeting. Haven't been since before the holidays. And while that hasn't been a temptation work was very stressful in December and I had many many dreams where I got drunk or drank. Which doesn't translate literally that I want a drink but it does mean there are problems I'm not addressing.

Buy groceries and dog food. Pretty basic but me and mine gotta eat.

Pack up Christmas tree and decorations. The nice thing about this is I cleaned out the storage closet that it all needs to go into before Christmas so all I need to do is put it all away.

Make new menus for restaurant. It's a long story. I could delegate this but I want it done right, right now, and cheaply. So I'll do it myself.

Cut and color hair. My basic upkeep these days involves getting a cut when I wake up in the morning and have bad bed-head. I prefer to be able to shower and dry and go with a minimum of fuss. As soon as I get the signs I get it cut, and usually cover up my mousy brown/gray right after. Maintenance, I'm all about the maintenance.

LUNCH! I love lunch and today seems like a great day for a hot stew or jambalaya. YUM! (Can you tell I'm hungry now?)

Sweep and mop floors. I wish I could figure out why the apartment gets so dirty so fast. Granted, two people two dogs but still, the dust and dirt build up and a good cleaning seems like it needs to be a weekly occurrence. I wish I could afford a maid. I never thought I would want one but I'm totally up for it now.

I'm sure there's more but that's pretty much the working agenda for today. Of course, it's also freakin freezing today so going outside involves multiple layers and I broke out the thermal undies. Jet's walk this morning was strictly for a poop and pee. Too cold for anything fancy.

Right, then ...

Review This ...

Sorry. I won't be posting one of those year in review missives all the cool kids are putting up for the new year. Um, if you want to know what happened to me this year there's this wacky business off to the right called the "archives". It's where you'll find an "archive" of the last year. Actually the last four years. So you see posting a review of a year that you can review anytime you like seems ... well, stupid.

What I will tell you about is a couple of projects I've started for the new year. Coincidentally, one is an additional archive of blog posts grouped by categories. I'm going all the way back to the beginning and categorizing almost every single post. It's tedious and time consuming, but when I'm done I'll be adding the category list to the sidebar. That way anybody that comes by for information about HIV, how much I Hate PETA, addiction and recovery or most likely hot gay sex, can see all the posts on any subject grouped together. I've already finished the first year, so look for it in a couple of weeks I'm guessing.

The other project I'm working on, and most definitely not to be mistaken for a resolution, is called project "Lose 13 pounds of Ben & Jerry's fat". Now that I'm coming up on almost a year of sobriety my habit of indulging all my other whims seems ... well, indulgent. I decided a bit of weight gain was a pretty fair trade to regain my life and my (dubious) sanity. But I haven't weighed this much since I graduated from high school and I've decided to get a grip on being able to pinch several inches. I've almost porked out of my 32 inch pants. And I refuse to go up a waist size. And my cholesterol count has shot up in proportion to my expanding ass.

So 13 lbs. in 6 weeks it is and I plan on being a slightly saggy but much trimmer 150lbs. of middle aged man-meat by my birthday on Feb 19. Wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted.