Finished up my weekend with very little to show in the way of accomplishments. I'm out of sorts. I have a full time job and I'm having an awful time making ends meet. The bills are caught up but I can't save any money, and I'm totally stressed trying to keep up and get a handle on my massive (and self-inflicted) credit card debt. I'm no longer drinking but it seems I'll be paying the price for a lot of reckless behavior for some time to come. One of the not so pleasant aspects of getting sober is I have to face reality. All. The. Time. But it comes with the package.
I've been having a lot of fatigue lately. I'm fine for most of the day but late most every afternoon I completely run out of gas. I get unbelievably tired and I literally have to fight to stay awake. If I'm working at my desk I frequently nod off for a few seconds at a time. It lasts for about an hour or so and then I'm fine. Later in the evening I snap to and I feel energetic and alert. I have no idea if this is a side effect from the meds or of getting old. It doesn't make sense that it would be related to HIV. I haven't changed treatment recently. I suppose it could have to do with the fact that I've been getting no exercise beyond the occasional 1/2 hr of cardio. I know that everybody has a natural rhythm to their day. Lots of ups and downs. But I'm not used to getting tired. I feel ... out of control. And I don't like it.
Rained all afternoon so I spent today futzing around with my computer, trying to find artwork for the walls from the pictures I've taken. I actually found some great ideas. Put some more music on my phone and ordered some med refills. I did make some fucking outrageously delicious turkey burger patties and I cooked up some fresh green beans. I also got my laundry ready to be done. I didn't do it, but it's ready. I guess that's ... something.
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