Yawn

So I've been spending a lot of time at the gym. While I do pay a monthly membership, it's been helpful because it doesn't cost me anything on a daily basis to go and spend an hour or two working out. With money being tight, it's a part of the day where I'm not spending and it helps distract me from things between Gay-A meetings and my worries about finding a job. Besides, I've been working out on a pretty regular basis for so many years, I just feel good when I work up a good sweat. I get a chance to read, zone out, listen to music. My gym time is therapeutic. I don't see it as a chore or punishment. Today I'm 15 days sober. I've been at the gym for 14 of those days. I don't always lift weights. Sometimes I do cardio and an ab routine and skip weights entirely. And I'm not really looking to get bigger. At my age, I have no aspirations to add bodybuilder to my profile. Mostly I'm hoping to not get fat and to keep my ass from hitting the back of my thighs a while longer.

My birthday was decidedly low-key. My niece called to wish me a happy day. It wasn't a particularly big struggle to not drink that day. I've long since past feeling like I had to "celebrate" my birthday by going out and getting fucked up. Same goes for New Years. I eventually began to hate marking those "reflective" holidays by waking up feeling like shit with a vicious hangover. I just feel like you're setting the stage for more of the same. So I went to a meeting, and had a nice phone call with one of the guys I've met through Gay-A. I did some window shopping, easy because I really don't need anything right now. Then I hit the Virgin Megastore in Union Square. They are having one of their $10 sales. Hundreds of CD's and DVD's all for a sawbuck. I walked around and picked up an armload of stuff, anything that caught my eye. I probably had $100 worth of music/movies. Then I went through each one and decided what I absolutely wanted. I managed to get out spending only $30. I got a Black Eyed Peas CD, and a Motown #1's compilation that I've been playing all day. I also picked up a copy of the movie Camp. I've never seen it and I've heard it's fun.

I've been a little discouraged lately because I haven't got any responses to resumés I've been sending. That's unusual, as my bar/restaurant resumé is pretty impressive. I sent myself a copy of the cover letter and resumé that I've been copy/pasting. It turns out, the Word copy I've been sending displays completely different than my layout. I look like an amateur. Even worse, I put in my cover letter that I'm fairly proficient in Word. No wonder nobody responded. I have an interview today for a job bartending on a day cruise around Manhattan. Believe it or not, I've decided to go back to bartending for a while. Drinking while working was never really an issue with me. In fact, I prefer to stay sober. It was always after work that was the issue. When everybody hangs out and rehashes all the horror stories of the day. I won't be able to do that anymore. But bartending will provide me with an immediate cash flow, and it's a great way to get out of debt quickly. And I'm sick of worrying about how I'm going to pay my bills. With a strong objective in mind, I'm pretty confident I can get behind a bar and not have issues.

Sorry this post wasn't particularly entertaining. In case you can't tell, I'm trying to use this space to help me sort some things out, and remind myself what's really at stake. I will try to mix things up this week and find some humor or dirty gay sex to tell you about. Thanks for listening.