Wednesday, December 14, 2005

When Being An Empath Can Suck

To my own lack of surprise, I was indeed fired this afternoon. And while I'm sure there are one or two people gleefuly rejoicing at my perceived come-uppance, I assure you this is no tragedy. There were some real difficulties associated with my job that I tried not to bore everyone with. Not the least of which was how it impacted on my free time. I thought that taking a position at a lower profile bar versus the mega club I had come from would be less intense commitment-wise. And while I did manage to lower my everyday stress level while at work, I found that my free hours began everyday around twilight. That was cute when I was a 20-something bartender, not so much as a 43 year old man. Starting your day when One Life to Live began and having breakfast during Oprah (that's at 4pm here in New York) can start to wear on a body. To say nothing of how I was struggling to stay on, let alone remember to take, regular doses of my meds. Taking into account I also started my new job without a moments break from my old one, and adding in that horrid bout of depression I fell into and well, I've been god-damned tired for months now.

I've had to make some adjustments in my life. Not the least of which is to admit I'm not Superman anymore. I need rest. Used to be I could be up and out of the house after a six hour re-charge in the sack. Now I struggle to get my old bones out of bed after 8 hrs. And then I need another hour and a half before I'm ready to shower and actually leave the apartment. As an example of what I was up against, I would frequently go to work on Friday around 7 pm (OK 8) and not get home until after 6 am. I was expected to get back in on Saturday by 5 0r 6 pm. In reality, it was usually closer to 8 again. Even then I was exhausted.

On top of that, it was increasingly apparent that they were expecting me to spin gold out of crap. Specifically, there was no money for advertising, promotion or salaries. In the end, including mine. No hard feelings, we just can't afford you.

There's more to say but it's late and quite frankly, I'm drunk. Everything will work out fine and I'll do laundry and finish this post tomorrow. I've booked my flight home for Christmas. Worry not, faithful readers. Good things are ahead.

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