Killer Squirrels! Like I Don't Have Enough To Worry About

A Russian news agency is reporting that a pack of murderous squirrels descended en mass from a tree and visciously gutted a large barking dog. Observers saw them scamper away with bits of their kill still in their tiny homicidal paws. Ominously, one of the squirrels stopped half way into the forest and pointedly stared down a six year old boy. If it's an uncorroborated report from an obscure Russian town, you know it must be true. I shudder to think how long it will be before wilding bands of killer squirrels begin rampaging through Central Park. This one's for you, Ray.