Changes ...

Well, the manager that had a meltdown is definitely not returning to work. I've managed to piece together a story that pretty much jibes with what I thought. It was stupid busy in the restaurant. Things were not going well, as the restaurant is usually treated and staffed like the red-headed stepchild, so tables were not being bussed, the floor was dirty and what should have been a half-hour wait was more like an hour. On top of that, my sometimes whoreanus boss was riding the manager like a pony on Derby Day, like a bottom in a gang bang, like a ... well, you get the picture.

The upshot of it is the man snapped like a dry twig, like a ripe green bean, like a faggot without Xanax, like a ... well, she snapped. So he was given a time out until he could decide what he wanted to do. He decided to quit. Like I decided to quit. But now I'm not so sure.

I had the chance to get a look at the bigger picture. On the one hand, I am acutely aware that I am in a battle for my life. It's imperative that I stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can. Because eventually my health will fail. Eventually, I will lose this battle and will be forced to address it with medication. And then I will be facing a life dealing with various possible side effects. Forever. How important is that stacked against running some hetero nightclub in Manhattan where I have no health insurance, where my chances for major advancement are nil, where I sacrifice my free time and my desire to create? Answer: Not very.

So the stress I was feeling is pretty irrelevant ain't it? When I do a job, I like to do a good job. It's important to me. But driving myself nuts over it is a lot of wasted energy. I will do the best job that I can for as long as I can. I will take control of my work. I will not allow it to get the best of me, because I am stronger and more powerful than what I do for a paycheck. I will absolutely keep my options open as it would be wonderful to find a new job that would combine my work ethic with some good money with a shout out to my creative streak. In the meantime, it appears The Warrior in me has returned.