Thursday, April 29, 2004

Notes from out of the blogsphere.

I'm a bit behind but I did a lot of reading all weekend and I wanted to comment on some great/interesting writing I came across. First, the fascinating (Mon. 26) posting courtesy of Gay Canadian X Party Boy. I say fascinating because I've never done crystal, and since I've done nothing this year but read about how it is ruining the lives of gay men everywhere, I would run like the wind if it were offered, but I did always wonder what the high was like (you know, every drug has their own "signature high") and this feels like a real accurate description of what it's like to be hooked on this poison. I have a good friend, The Hellcat, who is still picking up the pieces of a life shattered by crystal use. The really interesting part of this story is at the end. After recounting living in squalor and being paid in drugs and highs that last days and paranoid hallucinations and imagining bodiless voices and running from nonexistent killers, Gay X PB (honestly and bravely) admits talking about it still makes him jones for it. This is some serious shit. Crystal buries her hooks in you deep, girrrrl. It helps me to remember how hard M--- must be working at it. I'm glad I missed the line to that little E Ticket ride. I have an affinity for the "speed" class of drugs so I stay far, far away from that world. Too scary. Rock on, sistah fag!

The other blog (diary) that I wanted to comment on concerns this continuing controversy regarding barebacking videos and the performers in same. I printed and linked to Titan Media's new "bareback policy" without comment because I wanted to present the information in an unbiased fashion. Also because I needed time to think. Now Devon weighed in on the issue with his thoughts (Fri. 23) and with a response from someone else in porn, basically calling Titan Media's position a crock (Sun. 25) and likening it to a barebacking land grab. Further mucking up the waters Keith Webb, one of the owners of Titan Media, has posted a message on explaining his position and admitting being HIV+ as well and the path that led him there. For my money, that's the most important part of his letter. I'm not the only one who escaped the first wave only to be engulfed by the fifth. I've tried to speculate in my head whether or not their motivation is the greater good or just greed and quite frankly, I don't know. It would be pure conjecture on my part. I do agree with Devon that this business of "barelisting" performers who film a bareback scene for another company is really heavy handed and just plain wrong. First, Titan Media is a porn company not my mom, so I really feel they should police their own fuck world and stay out of everyone else's. Second, again agreeing with Devon, why should someone who decides to perform a bareback scene at say, 20 (young, dumb and full of cum), then deciding he will "repent" and never shoot a load in a sweet, tight, silky smooth butt (so sorry) be punished by the major players thus being "forced" (if he wants to stay in porn) back to the barebacking companies? How is that helping? And finally, couching it in terms of protecting your performers sends a pretty fucked up message to me and mine. If you intend to follow safer sex practices and insist that all your performers do (on set) as well, why send a message ( by attitude at least) that it's inherently unsafe to have sex (with condoms) with an HIV+ person? Thanks a bunch, Keith.

In other News ...

I just found out The Ex is leaving for work Friday morning. From there he's leaving for Floreydah, returning on Wednesday. What does this mean? For six days I'm a skinny white fag with a fistful of Viagra and a three bedroom Gramercy Park apartment all to myself. Reservations are strongly encouraged.