Wednesday, March 26, 2008

We're Hiring! Just Not This Dumb-Ass

I've been doing interviews, attempting to bolster our host and server staff. It started with an ad on Craigslist that netted around 50 emails. Of those, a mercifully small percentage were answered by people with absolutely no previous restaurant experience or seemingly no access to a computer or word processor program with spell check. Sorry, but being a "people person" that spent the last three years manufacturing dental prosthetics does not mean you are qualified to serve food, despite the dubious connection of both jobs to one's mouth. And if you "espell" with a Spanish accent I'm going to assume your English is far far worse.

I managed to do about 10 interviews last week, and offered jobs to three of them. They all accepted. The woman I hired for the host position never made it to the first day, calling in that afternoon to report "I got better offer". One of the two servers I hired did make it to the first training shift but only lasted a couple of hours. He claimed he wasn't prepared for the "whole karaoke thing". This despite the fact that I described it as a "giant, loud, busy, noisy, hectic karaoke restaurant.

The third employee turned out to be the charm. And while he had a good resume, I freely admit I originally called him because he was ex-military and spent part of the last few years teaching latin dance. I was thinking cute with a tight butt. And you know what? I'm pretty good at reading resumes. He did turn out to be cute. And very polite. That's the military training. And I dearly love a latin dance instructor that's good at taking orders. With a tight butt.

Which gives us about a 33% success rate at hiring staff, which is just about right for us. We tend to hang on to about a third of the people we hire.

So I started this week calling people I didn't get to from the first batch of responders. I got in touch with a few promising host candidates and only one or two servers. I usually leave cell number messages and many times, I get a call back while I'm on the next call. Meaning the previous person was screening, a practice I wholeheartedly understand and support. What I do not understand, however, is the jackass that decided it was somehow appropriate to respond to my phone call requesting an interview with a text message. And not just any text message. Here's what I received:

Hey wats havin dinner right now...when r u lookin for

Now, this would be an appropriate response if we were trading hook-up emails on Manhunt and I was looking to give a blow job, but what kind of pin head sends a potential employer an informal, internet slang-filled, uninvited text message? Does he really think this kind of behavior will lead to a job? Or even an interview? Needless to say my answer is no.

Note to applicants: Do not text message for a job interview, unless of course you're asked. And don't start any kind of job-related message with the words "wats up".

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