From The Ashes ...

The Debate (Minute by Minute)

George Bush gets into fighting shape for tonight's debate.


9:01 The candidates are ready, the Midwestern idjits are ready, the 2004 Presidential Debates begin.....

Charlie Gibson has become "Charles".

According to the rules, a flashing red light means "prepare to be electrocuted."

9:05 Kerry seems a little shaky on his first question. Did he over prepare?

9:07 Bush already complaining about "the pressure" of his job.

9:08 First of 5 invocations of 9/11 by Bush.

9:10 Bush can't find the word he's searching for: commission, perhaps? He chooses "group".

9:11 Bush takes notes: "My job is hard. It's so very, very hard."

9:14 Kerry cites (R) Sen. Luger to criticize US actions in Iraq. Good one.

9:16 Bush: "wrong war, wrong time, wrong place" redux. (2)

9:18 Question: Are we the Ugly Americans?

9:19 Bush invokes Ronald Reagan.

9:20 Wait, we didn't join the International Court in The Hague so our soldiers wouldn't have to be subject to a court of law?

9:23 Fat lady nods in approval. A fresh Kerry convert?

9:25 Bush uses lame, prepared, "scowl" joke to cover for reflexive borderline scowl. No one laughs.

9:28 Bush: "the Internets." The internets? There are more than one?

9:29 "Vee-hicles" He said vee-hicles. Lord, help us.

9:31 Kerry weaves unrealistic fantasy about the lovely army he plans to create.

9:31 Bush the bully emerges and ignores "Charles" Gibson.

9:33 Bush scribbles furiously: "Oooh, I hate this guy. I hate him, hate him, hate him. I wish I could sigh."

9:37 A good question regarding cheaper Canadian drugs. Curiously, it seems Bush has called Canada a third-world country.

9:39 If you're not from Missourah can you say "missourah?

9:41 Kerry scores a nice shot going for the Senior/Medicare vote.

9:43 John Edwards' smarmy past as a litigious ambulance chaser comes back to haunt him.

9:45 Pow! Bush unleashes lame, prepared second joke regarding hard work to deflect his pathetic "hard work" whining. Absolutely no one laughs.

9:47 Message to both you stooges: The only medical care issue we want to hear about is National Organized Health Insurance.

9:52 I'm bored.

9:54 Kerry falls for trap and looks into the camera promising no new taxes in first two years. You asshole.

9:55 Kerry: "No lobbyist left behind." Good one. And scores the first genuine laugh, to boot.

9:57 Bush attempts to take credit for 1.9 million new jobs he had absolutely nothing to do with.

9:59 Bush's environmental record. This oughta be good.

10:00 What's a hydrogen automobile?

10:01 Kerry ignores environment issue to try and escape liberal label. Ridicules "Clear Skies Act."

10:04 Unintelligible and convoluted jobs question from audience.

10:05 This Kerry guy has "a plan" for everything.

10:08 Frat-boy Bush emerges, ridicules Kerry's answer. "Want some wood?"

10:10 Bush talks about "terrists" and lies about Patriot Act.

10:14 Kerry trots out (in order) Nancy Reagan, Michael J. Fox and Christopher Reeve to answer embryonic stem cell research question.

10:18 Has the camera shown a black face yet?

10:20 Bush displays rudimentary knowledge of the Constitution.

10:22 Kerry gets a potentially controversial abortion funding question. He obviously panders but seems to make a case for a secular society.

10:28 Fat lady in red looks horrified. Or pissed off it's hard to tell.

10:32 Kerry misses chance to paint Bush with dirty Halliburton brush. Scores a minor swipe that barely registers.

10:33 Kerry promises to kill people for us.

10:36 Bush reminds us we're at war (again), reminds us that people are looking to bomb us and says everything at home is A-OK.

While I hesitate to call either candidate a clear cut winner, I have to congratulate the designer of the shock collar hidden under Bush's shirt that kept him from becoming totally lost (more than once) or from appearing (overtly) to be the unctuous, whiny, petulant spoiled rich kid he usually seems to be. Kerry was (as expected) in command of the facts he needed, but if he's going to make any headway or take the lead in this campaign, he should take the time to forcefully and aggressively expose the lies and hypocrisy plaguing this administration.