Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Bing! Went The Strings Of My Fart

I apologize in advance for that title. All right, no I don't it made me laugh.

According to SiteMeter, I've been getting a few visits from Bing searches. Most of them are some variation of my full name, or just Tom and my last name, or even my name and New York, NY. Since most of the searches originate in New York as well, it leads me to believe that these are prospective employers searching my name on the interwebs. So they would find out pretty quickly that I'm middle aged, gay, a recovering alcoholic and HIV+. Gee, I wonder why I don't get called more often for interviews?

But that's not the part that bothers me. What bothers me is that the Bing search result seems to be pointed at my blog for the month of September back in 2004. The entire month is highlighted, and it inexplicably starts with the following quote:

"Hello, my name is Tom and I fart."

Now I did in fact write that, and now is not the time to be backing away from 5 years of blog posts, just because one happens to be a tad embarrassing in retrospect. The fact that I have chosen to leave the graphic depictions of my past sexual encounters is not something that I didn't carefully consider. Besides, my opus to my flatulence is definitely a thread in the tapestry I've woven regarding the entire reason why I started this blog in the first place. And that was to document HIV from diagnosis to wherever it may lead. Or I get tired. Whichever comes first.

If anything I owe you, my tens of readers, an update. So here's the fresh poop on my 2004 gaseous confession. At some point treating my HIV greatly diminished the capacity of my internal fart factory. I now consider myself a perfectly average farter. Oh, I'm not going to try and cast myself in a wonderful light and claim I never fart at all anymore. As a matter of fact ... ahh, I just did. But the great, rumbling thunderous farting that lasted for hours night after night ...

I don't fart like that any more. So you can Bing me all you want and find out that I'm getting old and I no longer drink and I'm being successfully treated for HIV, but don't you assume that all I do every night is sit around and fart.

1 comment:

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