Friday, August 28, 2009

Stop, Hey What's That Sound

I've been in bed the last three or four nights by midnight as I have had to get up by 6:45 every morning to make it out to New Jersey and the shuttle transportation to the golf tournament. In case you were wondering, I'm bar tending this week at Liberty National Golf Club. It's the site this year for The Barclays, a major stop on the PGA Tour and part of the FED-EX Playoffs. The winner of the playoffs pockets 10 million dollars.

I hope you are suitably impressed, because I'm bored to death. "Bar tending" the last two days has basically meant that I stand behind a great looking bar with a spectacular view of the course and open up cans of Diet Coke and Nestea Iced Tea, as well as dole out endless amounts of bottled water. My "bar" is just a service area for the players dining room and as such no beer, wine or alcohol is offered. Today I opened up cans of soft drinks and served out water for 7 hours. I do have two televisions (tuned to the Golf Channel) and I have several security personnel and the occasional Jersey City Police officer to chat with, but it is punishing on my feet and knees to stand there doing next to nothing and it's also mind-numbingly soul-crushingly BORING.I'm not sure I will make it two more days, even though I need the money.

Anyway, I started to tell you about my being asleep early. It is screwing with my body clock a bit, which is why I woke up this morning around 4:40 needing to turn on the A/C and also to take a middle of the night pee. As I stood in the bathroom lights out, door open, hand braced against the wall, I heard a sound not usually associated with my home, and certainly not a sound I have heard recently even through one of the neighboring walls. It was the unmistakable moaning of a young lady having sex. In my apartment. A girl! Having opposite sex! I KNOW!!

First of all, lucky bitch! Second, I found it ridiculously funny. Something about the sex noises a girl makes, as opposed to a guy, which I find totally hot. And of course I listened briefly for some guy sex noises, since the guy in question is the 22 year old student/model in the room next to mine. But I didn't hear any masculine grunting, nor the telltale squeak of bed springs, so I am assuming there was some sort of manual or oral pleasuring going on. All of this information is speculation that took place over about 30 seconds, as it occurred to me that standing around a dark apartment in the middle of the night listening in as your 22-year-old hetero roommate goes down on his date would be slightly pervy. Even for me.

But I did find myself a couple of times today daydreaming about the size of his cock. Only because I had nothing else to do.

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