12-Step, Ball Change

I had a delightful night last night spent getting all self-helpy. After getting all the laundry done, and scrubbing down the bathroom, (did I mention that I am now living with two heterosexual men, one of whom is a 22 year old student and part-time model? No? Well it's not all underwear- water-fights and straight-boy porn let me tell you, these boys are messy, and they think I'm the old gay housewife. SHUT.UP.) I went to my HIV+ support group. It's been very well attended lately, as I have been there on some nights when only 8 or so people showed up. It's been upwards of 20+ the last few times I've dropped in.

This week I sparked a lively discussion by asking how they all felt about the idea that there should be more money and research focused on a cure for HIV/AIDS instead of treatment. Obviously, everyone wants one, but not everyone believes we'll see it in our lifetime. A couple people expressed certainty that there already was a way to cure HIV, but the pharmaceutical companies won't release it because they have and are making billions in treatment dollars. I admit that it is theoretically possible, but I wondered aloud where that line of thinking ends. Do they also have a cure for diabetes? There's billions of treatment dollars in testing and supplies there. How about breast cancer? That's become a moneymaking cottage sub-industry in cancer. Are doctors and drug companies and insurance agencies sitting on cures for all these illnesses, simply to churn out profit on the backs of sick people world-wide? Or have they targeted the gays specifically, as part of a larger desire to make us suffer, die and spend our money? It's easy to casually spout a conspiracy theory, until you stop to think about how much conspiring it might really take to pull off. Not that I don't think there are potentially some evil fucks in the world that would consider giving it a try.

In any case, I went out for a quick bite with my POZ people, before going back to the GLCC for a Gay-A meeting. I almost skipped it as I was having a great time ki-ki-ing with the boys out on the sidewalk, but I ended up running up only a couple minutes late. It turned out to be a great meeting, something I needed to do, and I practically floated home feeling like I didn't have a burden in the world to weigh me down.

There is supposed to be a New York demo for the Great Nationwide Kiss-In tomorrow at 2:00 in Battery Park. If there are any activist-minded latin men (preferably under 6 ft. - for comfort and aesthetics of course) or really any reasonably attractive, non sandal-wearing in shape under 50 year-old that needs a *ahem* demonstration partner, I'm going on record as saying that I know for a fact I'm a really, REALLY good kisser. I'm just sayin' ...