Giving Equal Time To Pussy

Have I shown you this yet? Cheesy. And Hilarious.

Today my boy became a man. Or rather a dog. Actually, a gay dog. Specifically a gay top dog. We set out mid-afternoon for a trip to the dog run in Tompkin's Square. Jet was behaving fairly well, we're working on getting him to walk beside me. It seems to lessen his anxiety and reduces him lunging at joggers and bikers. He let most of them pass without incident. We got to the run pretty easily. When he gets distracted and starts turning around to prevent some unknown sneak attack a quick tug on the leash seems to snap him out of it.

After arriving at the run and settling in, I expected him to engage in some butt sniffing and then stay by me for most of the time. That's what he's always done. Shortly after that, Finn arrived. (cue soaring Yanni music) Finn is a male brown haired terrier of some sort. He is in the blush of youth at 14 months. Jet found Finn and his butt irresistable. I was stunned when Finn trotted away and Jet followed running behind. "Wait, your ass smells fantastic! I looooove you!" He exclaimed. I daresay he actually frolicked amongst the dogs. Wherever Finn led, Jet followed. Finn was a bit of a slut, and his great smelling butt was not lost on the other dogs. Jet seemed a tad annoyed to have to share his Finn-hole with others, but he patiently waited his turn. Of course, it wasn't long before my gay top dog absolutely had to try and fuck Finn in the ass. I was stunned. I think I even spotted a little pink lipstick protruding from Jet. I scolded him and he dismounted. Only to jump all up on his bumper moments later. I scolded him again, whereupon Finn's owner admitted what we already knew. Finn's a slut. Other dog's like to hump him and Finn doesn't really object. With that, I happily let Finn and Jet and the other dogs frolick and fuck the afternoon away. I watched a white haired poodle try to make my Jet the lucky Pierre in a doggie three-way, but Jet pushed him off. "I said I'm a top, Frenchy."

We spent over an hour in the run, and while Jet only had eyes for Finn, he did in fact dally with a few others. I felt like a parent on the first day of school. Proud but sad. My boy is growing up. And he's gay.

So. The vagina. I'm walking to work the other afternoon. I'm on 23rd between 5th and 6th. Before the Homo Depot. I glance at some people leaning in doorways and sitting on the sidewalk. I spot a homeless woman. Or a very dirty woman with a home and in serious need of a dye job, some soap and water, and a clean lycra top, size infinitely larger than the one she's wearing. That's what caught my eye. She's sitting on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette. She's wearing a pair of jeans. Her knees are up and spread apart, forming a V-shaped tunnel that draws your eyes. Right to the giant hole ripped out of the crotch of her jeans. These were not rips or tears. It was a giant hole. Providing an unobstructed view of her giant hole. I swear, you could see directly into her vagina. I was stunned. And looked away. Then I went blind. This is what happens when a gay man unexpectedly looks into a vagina. Look it up. Fortunately, there's a school for the blind just a bit further up on 23rd. There actually is. After being outfitted with a cane and provided counseling for unexpectedly viewing a homeless vagina, I continued on to work. My eyesight returned by morning.