Let's not sugar-coat things, in the three years since I got sober I have also got fat. I only gained about 5 lbs. after I quit smoking (8 years ago!!), but I put on a full 25lbs. (more or less) after I quit drinking. And that is why you stopped seeing my in my next-to nothing pictures, because there was soooo much more of me to see, and the internets are already chock full of pictures of flabby, middle-aged pervs.
Now, I was really thin in my early twenties, and barely cracked 150 when I was drinking and started seeing Dr.'s and getting weighed fairly regularly. After I got sober, I was too preoccupied (at first) to notice that the scale was inching higher and higher. Once I did notice, I kind of thought "fuck it, I have no vices left, leave me be with my ice cream". That attitude quickly extended to entire loaves of garlic bread. And cookies. And all manner of sugary goodness. As well as 1/2 a pound of pasta.
And you can see where this is going and how, can't you? But I did finally start to panic when I crossed the 175 mark and was spending time flirting with 178. 180 was lurking just around the corner and considering the most I had weighed up till then was 160 pounds right after high school, 180 lbs. felt like the point of no return.
True to form I always push things right to the edge, almost daring fate to take a disastrous turn, only to pull back at the last minute. And it appears that my ever-expanding waistline is no exception. Right around the beginning of February I went back on the South Beach diet, and by my birthday I had lost about 5 lbs. Tonight at the gym I crossed back over the 170 mark and came up around 168 or so.
I've been on the most restrictive part of the SB diet -Phase 1, for three weeks. No bread, no pasta, no rice, no fruit, lots of protein and tons of green leafy things. I'm supposed to move in to Phase 2 this week, but considering I aim to lose 8 more pounds I am reluctant to do so. I couldn't stand having eggs for breakfast one more day so I switched to a bran muffin (fiber) and I added yogurt to my lunch and an apple for fruit the last two days. That is all Phase 2 food but I don't feel it's a problem since I still haven't had any pasta or bread. At all. And the french fries, although missed, aren't really a problem, but I do find that I miss my dear friends pizza and ice cream. My beloved ice cream.
How I long for you...