Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'm Rich, I'm Wealthy, I'm A Happy Miser

I've caught a little chest cold, and I now sound very much like the late Brenda Vaccaro. Only without the emphysema. It's kind of sexy.Tons of stuff happening on all fronts, so I'll update you in bits n' pieces as there's time.

Monday's mail brought me a timely gift courtesy of Ye Olde Gummint in the form of my federal tax return. It wasn't a huge amount of money, about 1 1/2 times a week's pay, seeing as how I don't get bogged down with all that deduction nonsense. I don't save records or receipts. Just give me back what you're gonna give and make it snappy. I file immediately, as soon as I get my W2, so I beat the rush and get a quick payday. So I tucked the check into my back pocket and set out into the East Village. After stopping at the pharmacy to get more meds for My AIDS, I went to the gym to do a little cardio and shower/shave. Then I popped in the see my hot Croatian barber with the sexy DSL, after which I took in an afternoon Gay-A meeting. I finally returned home and promptly realized that somewhere in my travels I had lost my refund check. How much does that suck? After grabbing the dog I took him out and re-traced every block I had been on, in the hope it had dropped out of my pocket folded up, and no one was the wiser. Alas, that was not to be. I was crestfallen. Of course, I quickly dialed up the IRS web site and found a number to call for a replacement. But now I have to wait another 45 days. Assuming no one found the check and successfully managed to cash it. If that happened I'll have to file a fraud claim and that will hold my refunded refund up even longer. All of which really just adds up to a colossal inconvenience and means my plans to get my finances really back on track will have to wait another month or so. I'll live. The really annoying part is I hardly ever lose or misplace anything. It's so not me. And I'm not entirely convinced I wasn't pick pocketed or robbed. My gym is notorious for that. To console myself I ate half an order of Chicken Parmesan and spaghetti and an entire loaf of garlic bread.

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