From The Ashes ...

I'm having trouble keeping track of the days. It's happened before. When I wake up I'm not really sure what day it is or what I will be doing. Sometimes, like today, it will happen several times. I thought it was Wednesday not Saturday for a minute. I thought it had been over a week since I posted here and I was thinking to myself "an entire week went by?" I finally got my bearings which was way cool 'cause I was feeling guilty for being a slacker. I wasn't, just totally out of touch with time/space. That I can live with. I actually used to berate myself all the time because I can't really remember dates/times too well. I call my room mate (is that one fucking word or two? Once and for all....) the "Keeper of Memories" he knows all the dates that he's moved and I've moved and people's names we haven't seen in years. He remembers old teachers and boyfriends and when a song was popular. I seem to have jumbled it all into one big soup. I was born, now I'm here and everything else is just.... filler. I used to think I was just shallow and self-involved but then that didn't make any sense. I'm not shallow if anything my insides are a gaping maw I've been desperately trying to fill with information and theory and secrets and truths as if someday I'll make sense of more than a fraction of our existense (yes, I'm doing it for you too). And while I am self-involved you would think that I would at least care to remember important things as they relate to me but no, the sad part is that when it comes to my life and the Killer Klowns that periodically jump from cars to swirl around me and the bars that I worked in and when and what year we broke up I have simply not been paying attention. I feel like I have always just been sort of bobbing along on the surface of my life, or many times beneath the surface of my life and then , periodically, I'll break through the surface and take note of where I am and who's around. That's sort of what's going on these days. I've surfaced. Only I'm not sure anyone is around.

Big news o' the day: My new digital camera arrived today! *see her dance with joy* It's not the best or the latest but it works and it's mine! mine! mine! The only flaw was it came USB enabled but without a USB cable and I could tell by the connecter that a standard USB camera cable wasn't going to work. What's a girl to Google? ( I love Google I truly do) A quick search later and I found them and $20 dollars later the USB cable be on the way! Still, it came with a mess of smart media cards and the 64mb card that was in it will hold almost 400 pics at lowest settings. Who knew?
It means a lot more pictures for here and I promise I will try try try to only post interesting relevant ones. Or dirty ones. Maybe I'll go for relevant dirt.

Now if this doesn't make you smile kill yourself you just will never get it. I found it here but he credited another ...