Wednesday, March 04, 2009

American Idol - Adam Lambert Is Gay As A Picnic!

Just want to get this down before the show airs. My prediction for tonight:

Lil Rounds- Done deal.
Jorge Nunez- When he cried at the end of his number, I almost called. Well played, my friend. But please, I need to whisper two words to you ... eyebrow threading. For the love of god.

(And this has nothing to do with my well-documented partiality to Black girls and Puerto Rican men)

Wild Card:
Scott The Blind Guy- Will make America feel good about themselves.

More later ...


Ha! SUCK IT, JESUS! What did I tell you?
So, needless to say I've gotten a little invested in this season of Idol. I really, really need to get a job. I'm sure you have seen the pictures rocketing around the interwebs of Idol contestant Adam Lambert. As it turns out, he couldn't be gayer if his name was Gay Gayerson. That's not a criticism. I'm excited that he seems like a total freak.

If the published photo's don't show it, perhaps this You Tube video of Missy Lambert going all Freddy Mercury at The Avalon in Los Angeles will illustrate the point.

At first I was thinking that Adam would be hiding his extreme gayosity under a bushel until he got further in the competition, but now I'm afeerd he will stick with this Emo/Goth drag he's got going on (and is almost too old to pull off) and try to play it "straight" (AS IF!). Pointless if you ask me, as his Gay-O-Vac battery is fully charged and simply should not be contained.

And while I wanted to predict that we had seen the last of young headband horror, drive-by piercing victim (below the lip? really?) Nathaniel before tonight's show, every time he appeared on camera the same phrase kept popping in to my head: Dirty Little Pig Bottom. I don't necessarily think we've seen the last of him. I think there's at least one video yet to surface with dirty little Nate tied up, shaved and getting peed on. Or there soon will be.

No comments: