So about three weeks ago I was surprised to find an invoice in my mailbox for a subscription to People magazine. At first, I thought it was a humorous mistake, an invoice somehow addressed to me in error. Until the next day, when a copy of People arrived in my mail. I was surprisingly surprised and angry. Ordinarily, I am not one of those people that thinks a business or corporation is trying to "rip me off". I don't obsessively monitor my checking account lest someone steal my identity. If you truly want to assume my identity have at it. If you can figure out how to magically make a bone-dry bank account and a couple of maxed-out credit cards produce cash flow I'd love to see it happen. Oh, and if you can get my identity laid on occasion I'd appreciate that, too.
But having said that, I do have a sense of what I've ordered or signed up for. I do, in fact, go through my credit card bills to confirm I've actually been to the stores listed on them. And while I do periodically subscribe to the occasional periodical, I am pretty picky about what magazines I read "religiously". The last magazine I received on a regular basis was Time, and that was because the trial was free. As soon as they wanted to charge me I cancelled. My absolute favorite magazine would probably be Vanity Fair. The photography is great and the articles are in-depth and well written. I usually keep a copy for a week or more as I slowly enjoy finding interesting tidbits inside. Plus, it makes you look smart if you leave your copy in the bathroom.
Which brings me back to my distress at receiving a copy of People. I hate that magazine. Perhaps hate is too strong a word. But there's nothing I like about it. The articles, when they are not soul-crushingly boring, are poorly written and largely incomplete. It's the McDonalds of writing. devoid of nutrition for the brain. Reading it just makes you fat and lethargic and hungry for actual information a few hours later. I would be mortified if someone found a copy in my
bathroom. People magazine is not even worthy of my poop. I'll be damned if I'm gonna get it in my mail every week.
So after several weeks of deliveries I received another invoice. This was obviously no fluke. I had somehow been signed up for People. I racked my brain trying to remember where I had been on The Internets that I might have accidentally authorized a subscription. I couldn't think of one. And I further suspect I hadn't as the times I do order a magazine subscription, I tend to provide a credit card for billing. I hate getting invoices and prefer to pay up front. So after finding the link on my invoice to People.com and their subscription department, I discovered I couldn't dispute the charge, only cancel the subscription. Which I did, with extreme bitchiness:
Comments : I have cancelled my subscription. I have no idea how you got a subscription order from me. I hate your magazine and would never read it much less order or pay for a subscription. Do not attempt to bill me again.
The next morning, I received an e-mail response:
Thank you for contacting PEOPLE Customer Service.
It is not our policy to enter an order without receiving what we believe to be the proper authorization to do so. Please be assured that we have canceled the account. You may disregard any further billing notices that you receive, as we may be unable to intercept them in the mail. Since our mailing labels are prepared in advance, you may receive one or two more issues. Please accept them with our compliments.
Sincerely,
Shane C.
PEOPLE Customer Service
Damn straight, Skippy.
No comments:
Post a Comment