Saying Hello ...

Just some free advice from me to you. If you have an important Doctor's appointment in the morning, you probably shouldn't be hanging out drinking in a Lower East Side gay bar. If you do decide to drink the night away, you probably shouldn't bring a bag containing all your medical records with you. If you do decide to bring said bag, you oughta keep a real close watch on it instead of getting drunk on Scotch and feeling up the GoGo boy. And when said bag goes missing, you ought not come to me expecting me to do more than give the floor a thorough search by flashlight. And while sympathetic to your plight, you'll excuse me if I secretly think you're a total dumb-ass.