Newsflash!... Aging former pornstar 86'd from bar!!!
Now I have to admit in the interest of full disclosure I am relating this information without actually being there for all of it but I have interviewed several reliable sources and I believe I have the basic facts right.
A couple of weeks ago one of The Hellcats introduced me to someone he was chatting with. He was nice looking and seemed very friendly. Asked a lot of questions, seemed genuinely curious, a bit rough in an outer-borough (sorry, you have to live here to get that) sort of way. I pegged him for a chatty 30 something who would probably really like you for $150-$200. We talked about photography, he mentioned he had posed for some photographers and I showed him a couple of b&w shots I took that are up in the bar. J--- got him to show me his bicep (I'm so not impressed by that but J--- really is so I could see the attraction) which he did sort of reluctantly which I thought was cute and he complained we don't allow tank tops in the bar (that again....are you seeing the pattern for another reason we don't allow it. It'll turn into an advertisement.) That was that, I thought, after he left. It was only then that J--- said,
"Do you know who that was?"
"No, who?"
"That was ______ ______ (aging former pornstar)."
long_play_vhs.jpg
"Oh really? Oh yeah, I guess it was."
When did she start working the neighborhood? I thought to myself. Oh well, file that under "interesting stuff". Over the course of the next few weeks he was back many times and always said at least a quick hello. He always seemed a little high strung (but not strung out). The only problem I was having was that he was being very open with me and my staff about what he does and why he was there and it's really hard to maintain a "see no hooker speak no hooker" policy when he's coming up confessing all. I tried to subtly let him know that I didn't want to discuss how he made a living but subtlety seemed lost on this guy. Now, before I go any further, when I refer to _____ _____ hot_guys_1_dvd_back.jpg as "aging former pornstar" let me just say that with what I'm sure is a judiscious use of chemical enhancement and an obvious TON of work in the gym this man still has an unbelievable body. (which he would bring up and flash to you right in the middle of a conversation about oh, tension in the Middle East. As in, "Yeah, I bet Arafat doesn't have abs like these.") However, he's not the 22 yr old wonder boy of a decade ago when videos were made with his name in the title and you would rewind the video to the point where his ass just seemed to defy gravity. He's also still very handsome just a little more...... lived. Trust, if he knocked on my front door, dropped his jeans and said "eat me" I'd still go get me a knife fork and napkin. So I re-filed him under "possible future problem" and moved on.
Flash forward to the Thursday before Halloween. I opened, so I was tucked safely into my bed high atop Second Ave when this went down. Apparently, there was a woman in the bar, the same woman I had seen all week. Approaching fifty, never met a martini she didn't like. Sort of a blousy boozy possibly European traveler (not tourist) that will blow into town for a week or a month and for some reason spend a week bellied up to my bar. What usually happens is the gay for pay boys or the true hustlers usually give themselves away falling all over these women. Possibly because they want a little straight boot knockin' but also possibly, because they see a drunk older woman they're thinking easy mark they can pour into a cab and ransack a hotel room. After all, the logic goes, what woman is going to call the cops and admit she got liquored up in a gay bar and took home a twenty something hustler who proceeded to rob her purse? Needless to say, not only do we not condone this kind of behavior but we actively try to nip it in the bud. And admittedley, we're a little attitudinal in the first place because these "gay for pay" boys just rub us fags the wrong way. I mean, to each his own and let's face it, if you consider yourself gay for pay as you go down on dick or get a big stiffy before you take a ride on some guy's ass, I'm so very sorry but you're at least bi. And it seems by considering yourself not gay it perpetuates the thinking that being really gay is wrong or at least other....not me. I had to shoo a regular "patron" away from the same woman a few days earlier and I did it with extreme attitude and it let to a confontation of my own where I let this "patron" know exactly what time it was.
So on this night, the same woman had attracted the attention of _____ _____ how_to_get_a_man_vhs.jpg. Jabba The Drunk must have seen something he didn't like because he felt the need to say something. My sources say Jabba was actually non-confrontational and was just trying to let everyone involved know that the bar manager was keeping an eye on things. Apparently this led to an argument where _____ _____ was saying things like "I'm not your average hustler. " and "I'm not scared of any gay bar manager." And I guess in effect the escort version of "don't you know who I am?". Well, Jabba would have none of that, and rightly so. So before you can say zip up, here comes the cops, _____ _____ bartender_vhs.jpg is being hustled out the door being told I hope you enjoyed your night bacause you're out of here. And with that, _____ _____ wanted_man_vhs.jpg got himself 86'd from the bar.
Let me try to explain why. Contrary to what everyone probably thinks, the collective "we" are not in the sex for money business. We have nothing to do with the people who do. Consequently, we are not going to put up with attitude or drunkeness or fights or any other malfeasence the boys who love you for pay are going to get into. Nor are we going to take any lip from an aging former porn star. Yes we do know who you are and yes, you are just an average hustler and yes, if we are going to turn a (relatively) blind eye as you use my place of business to run one of your own than you damn well are going to do it my way or get out. There have been thousands before you and there will be thousands after. 40 films with you fucking or jerking off makes you...... overexposed. And now that you actually have to get out there and sell yourself, aging former porn star, you need "us" but "we" certainly don't need you. As evidenced by the fact that you tried to talk your way back in four days later. It didn't work.
Now, I could just tell you exactly who it is but I included all you need to know and telling would ruin the spirit of this anonymous blog. So, if you still don't know I'll give you one final clue here. (and let me say, aging former porn star still knows how to find the flattering camera angle)
