Yesterday I ...

Bought a new houseplant at Home Depot and some plant food. I re-potted all the houseplants in my bedroom, added fresh dirt to the kitchen plants and fed and watered them all. I picked off all the dead leaves and unfortunately had to euthanize a plant that was gasping for it's last breath. Riley had knocked over one of the plants on my bedroom windowsill when a mounted policeman on horseback clip-clopped down the street one day last week. He got so freaked out he tried to get out (or get his head out) the window and upended the pot. He also has a habit of lazily chewing on the leaves when he's bored so I will have to be vigilant if I want a little green patch outside my bedroom window this summer. I'm also thinking about growing at least one potted tomato plant this year to have a few weeks of fresh, homegrown tomatoes.

Googled myself, as I was wondering if maybe prospective employers were doing it and maybe it could be an explanation for why I am having no success landing a job. I had a theory that Googling me would lead pretty quickly to this here blog thingy, and once employers were reading my self-descriptive "middle aged, gay, HIV+, recovering alcoholic" confessional that they were running for the exits. I discovered to my relief and then horror that despite my best efforts to live a scandalously transparent life on the intertubes, Googling myself produces almost no information whatsoever. The highest link being a roster of my graduating Classmates.com from high school. Beyond that, there is page after page of nothing about me. I barley exist.

Asked someone from Gay-A if he would be interested in being my sponsor. I have been sponsor-less for most of the last two years. He turned me down, which of course made me feel even lower on the crap-meter than I already did. What's  interesting about this particular tale of woe is that instead of going home,  eating a pint of ice cream and replaying the conversation over and over in my head until I felt like a complete asshole and hated everyone I had ever met in the bargain, I opted to ignore the instincts that got me to need Gay-A in the first place and marched back in to the meeting and had a chat with the sponsorship chairman for the group. I gave him my contact information and let him know that I was actively needing a sponsor and I hope to hear from him in a day or two.

This is an amazing development in my recovery for two reasons. Obviously, I have learned a thing or two about my behavior and how I tend to make choices that are least beneficial to my own well-being, and second I seem to be moving in to a more active phase of my recovery. I've been feeling like I've reached a plateau where I am not making significant progress in my recovery. I feel stagnated, and I think the best way out of that is to get more committed to the process by working with another alcoholic on the program and what it means to me. This would have been impossible two years ago, as it would involve taking a chance and exposing my inner workings to what amounts to a total stranger. It took everything I had to try it with a therapist a couple of years ago, and I ended up lying (mostly by omission) about most of what I was doing and feeling. Rigorous honesty, with yourself and others, is a cornerstone of Gay-A and recovery, and it's a step I feel (more or less) ready to start taking.

Am I Too Old To Get Hired?

As my job search enters the middle part of what seems to be another fruitless week, I find myself grasping at straws to try and explain away the sobering and frightening reality that may be to come. The one where I run out of unemployment insurance checks and still haven't found a job and need to seriously consider giving up my apartment of 20 years and moving back to Buffalo with my dog and my clothes to live with my now elderly parents.

I am also starting to wonder what exactly I am doing or not doing or what energy I am not creating or blocking that is preventing me from not only landing a job, but even getting interview calls. Which is not to say there haven't been any, just that they have been few and far between. 

I certainly feel like my age has something to do with it. While nobody has outright mentioned that as a factor, and indeed it would be illegal to do so, I did have one interviewer express surprise upon meeting me, expecting someone "out of college". I never bothered to ask how he inferred that from my resume, but it made me self-conscious for the rest of the interview.

On the one hand, I'm 47 years old, and I know I have at least 20 years if not more before I would be retirement age. Somewhere between 70 and 80 is more realistic, assuming I live that long. But to be honest and equally realistic, many people that work in bars and restaurants are younger, if not much younger than I am these days. I have interviewed with people obviously 20 years younger than I am. My last boss was 20 years younger. In that case, his complete lack of competence in running a business ultimately led me to my current unemployment. But that may have been because he is an idiot, not because he's young.

On the other, 47 is not particularly old to be in restuarant management. Unfortunately, that's only true of the "higher end" restaurants. Where age and experience count for something. Like it or not, I have most of my experience in high volume, turn and burn, slap the burger and the check on the table and move 'em up and out type venues. I work at music and live entertainment clubs with high tech computers and plasma screens and loud music and so my experience isn't "real". I supposedly can't do fine dining. Like I eat at home with my feet and don't know the first thing about what a nice meal or good service entails. But that's the perception I work against these days. And most of the people in my field are much younger. They stay up late and still do drungs and drink until dawn. I don't really fit in that world anymore either.

What's a not as young as he used to be recovering alcoholic supposed to do to earn a living in this town?

Hoooray Spring!

The exact moment that spring sprang here in the New York City, we were experiencing an early morning snow. Fortunately it didn't last more than a few hours and nothing really stuck to the ground. The late afternoon was partly sunny and warm-ish. And it still doesn't negate the fact that I spent part of the day before wandering around the park taking pictures of the first crocuses to poke their heads up and greet the neighborhood with a very welcome presentation on some beautiful shades of purple.

To Boldly Go Where No Bat Has Gone Before

I'm sure you all read about the courageously tragic flight of the Space Bat. If not, you can get up to speed here. Words fail me in my desire to immortalize Space Bat and his dream of exploring the universe. So instead, I will re-post this moving YouTube tribute to this brave little mammal.
"That's one small step for bats, one giant leap for bat-kind."

Words, Words, Words

I was perusing jobs on Craigslist the other day, and I came across several listings seeking the services of a copyeditor. Actually, I came across listings for a copyeditor, a copy editor, and someone to do copy-editing. Thinking something was amiss I discovered in some brief research that they were all correct usages. Go figure!

But my travels along the interwebs eventually had me wondering a) what does a copyeditor actually, really do? and b) can I get a job as a copyeditor? The answer to "b" appears to be no, but in searching for the answer to "a" I came across the AP Stylebook, which as the name implies is a reference book, answering all sorts of grammar, spelling and AP approved usages for newspapers.

You can order a copy of the AP Stylebook, and subscribers can submit questions to the editor, some of which were reprinted on the web page. I should probably be worried that I love shit like this, but in case you do as well, here's a few questions to the editor. Answers in tiny type below.

1. I've seen the term website listed various ways including: Website, website and Web site. Are these all acceptable? Can you explain your decision?

2. Does the term Farmers Market use an apostrophe after the s? Or should we not use one at all?

3. I know quotation marks always go on the outside of periods, does the same rule apply to question marks? Ex. How do you define “appropriately address”? Are quotes correct or should they be on outside?

4. e-mail or email

5. What was the rationale for dropping the parentheses from area codes in telephone numbers?



___________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________

1. AP uses Web site as two words. We decided early on that Web site was a component or part of the World Wide Web, not a compound noun based on it (as, say, webcam).

2. AP style, based on information from the Washington State Farmers Market Association and the USDA, is "farmers market" with no apostrophe. (Generally, the farmers do not own the market.)

3. The placement of the question mark with quotation marks depends on the meaning. In the case you cite, the question mark would go outside (as in: Who wrote "Gone With the Wind"?) (See the Punctuation Guide section of the AP Stylebook.)

4. AP style is the hyphenated e-mail.

5. Since area codes are required in virtually all phone calls, there is no longer anything parenthetical about them. They are part of the phone number; no reason for the parentheses.

Up Early, Your Honor

Ouch. Awake and showered by 7:45 this morning. About to walk Riley and then head downtown to court. Believe it or not, I am still answering summonses from the Mayor's Task Force raid of the restaurant I used to work for. This was back in August right after the murder. If you're new here and have no idea what I'm blabbering about I will link it up later. Suffice it to say I no longer work there and they are no longer open for business so I would like to get these summonses resolved and be on my way. I will let you know the outcome.

UPDATE: Case dismissed! Or rather, an adjournment in contemplation of dismissal. I showed up and as expected, the former owner of Spotlight Live and the lawyer that was representing them/me were nowhere to be found. I guess since the venue is well and truly closed and since the summonses were in my name, the owner opted to not show up and dump the problem back in my lap. Fortunately I had anticipated this would happen, and I ended up throwing myself on the mercy of the court. More specifically, I met with a lawyer for the city and stated that I no longer worked there and I was only a lowly manager, with no real say when it came to licenses, permits and sprinkler systems. And I pointed out that answering summonses for a business that closed was a little pointless.

Fortunately, they agreed and decided to offer to dismiss the summonses assuming I don't get any more for the next 6 months. Hence the contemplation of dismissal. This is a good thing, considering at least one of the violations was a misdemeanor and would have gone on my record. Not that I worry about such things, and getting arrested for something interesting is on my list of things to do before I die, but this scenario most definitely didn't qualify. I was thinking it would be more along the lines of sucking off a foreign naval officer in a public park. You know, "interesting".

Washington, D.C. (Damn Contagious)

HIV/AIDS Rate in D.C. Hits 3%

At least 3 percent of District residents have HIV or AIDS, a total that far surpasses the 1 percent threshold that constitutes a "generalized and severe" epidemic, according to a report scheduled to be released by health officials tomorrow.

"Our rates are higher than West Africa," said Shannon L. Hader, director of the District's HIV/AIDS Administration, who once led the Federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's work in Zimbabwe. "They're on par with Uganda and some parts of Kenya."

read more ...

Ban On Gay Parents Fails In Kentucky

A Senate bill that would have banned gay couples from adopting or fostering children in Kentucky appears to be dead this legislative session.

The measure's sponsor, Republican Sen. Gary Tapp of Shelbyville*, said Senate leaders will not bring Senate Bill 68 to a vote in the final four days of the legislative session. Tapp said Wednesday that he plans to file the bill again next year.

The bill would restrict future foster and adoptive parents to people who are married under Kentucky law, which would eliminate gay couples or unmarried couples from adopting or becoming foster parents. -via Queerty.

*This legislation would in no way impact marrying attractive cousins or the theft of neighboring lemon trees.

Tuts My Barreh

-via World of Wonder

Um ... Sorry To Tell You But ...

Your kid is gay.

GQ ran a piece on Arlo Weiner, 8 year old son of Mad Men creator Matt Weiner. Precocious gayby Arlo reportedly asked his parents for a top hat at age three, and Missy has never looked back.


"This is my Valentine’s Day outfit. The jacket and the pants are velvet. I love the tie because it’s really two ties stacked on top of each other. (My dad had to tie it for me.) The pink tie matched the pink shirt. I wore brown-and-white argyle socks for a random pattern."

Welcome to the family, girrrrrl!